A Poem of Friendship by Nikki Giovanni excerpted from Love Poems

"A Poem of Friendship"


We are not lovers
because of the love
we make
but the love
we have


We are not friends
because of the laughs
we spend
but the tears
we save


I don't want to be near you
for the thoughts we share
but the words we never have
to speak


I will never miss you
because of what we do
but what we are
together

Weddings

I loved The Office last night. I don't keep up with characters names but it was the wedding episode. I loved it. It made me think about my own wedding and who would be invited. I already know my family is not on the list-except for my little cousin (he's 23, I know not so little). But the day should be special-- full of love and joy-- not stress. I have found myself contemplating whether or not I would tell my mom or leave it be. I think I am just going to do what makes me happy for a change and not deal with the control freaks by which I am surrounded. It's avoidance I know, but at this time in my life, I don't really care anymore. This is a recurring theme here-- doing stuff to make other people happy. Our wedding will not have that ring to it. The only person I care about being happy is the other bride and myself. Awww... I can't wait for the day.

Birthday Gifts

Yesterday was my mom's birthday. She had the nerve to call me the day before to remind me that it was her birthday-- as if I would forget. I had no idea what to give her. When I was at home, I tried to get her to do a gift personality quiz over at Gifts.com. That was the most trying experience. I know she was trying to be modest and grateful but when you have either/or questions, you don't expect "I don't know. Whatever you get me will be fine," as an answer.

See, I know that "anything" will not do. I have bought her perfume-- "Do you think I stink?" My uncle bought her a sandwich maker-- " You know I don't dammit cook." LOL -- I think that was the funniest. I bought her clothes-- " I don't like that! That is not my style." My granny bought her a sweater one year-- "Thank you. It looks comfortable and nice enough for an old person." Yes! My mother is that hard to shop for.

My girlfriend suggested that I complete the quiz for her. I did and I came up with the perfect gift. I got her a business card holder from Things Remembered and had it engraved with her name and birthday. It is a good gift for 3 reasons:

1. It has an American flag on the front. She is a Republican and very, very, very, very, very, patriotic. Everytime I turn around she is trying to put an American flag on something- book covers, brochures, fliers, etc.
2. She will take it out to show it off. Anytime my mothers name is on something (newspapers, programs, etc.), she will show it off.
3. It can't be returned. She won't want to waste money, so she will use it just the same. Plus she doesn't have one, but her business cards are always in her purse. This will be a nice elegant touch.

It still has to be shipped. But a lot of the online retailers now feature e-card gift announcements. I absolutely love it. I bought it but I don't have to fret about her thinking that I didn't get her something. It was a really cute card and the site allowed me to schedule it's delivery. She responded favorably to the e-card. I will let you know how she responds to the actual gift.

1 Year

I have been so busy that I didn't even realize that I had reached my one year blogging anniversary. I know. That is pretty sad. But I found myself in sort of a writer's slump/block/uncooperative mood.

Then this whole gay thing just kind of got to me. I am so tired of the name "That Gay Girl Tamara". My sexuality is only a little piece of me. I am not an angry, black, man-hating lesbian. I don't have issues with religion. I don't like judging folks because I then feel like a hypocrite. At the same time, I don't like other people judging folks so I in-turn judge them and I feel like a hypocrite. So I had to stop hanging around, talking to, emailing, reading the blogs of, being friends with those types of people.

I met some really cool people through blogging though (Alix, Tammy, Glennisha, Ladybug, Monie, Sarah, and many others.) These ladies helped me see things in different ways. I mean, I feel like I have really grown up over the last year. I turned 30. Wow. My mom and I have come full circle in our relationship. We don't necessarily see eye to eye; but who does? I can only focus on me and my happiness. So that's what I have started to do. The love of my life is still the love of my life. I think evenmoreso. She is truly ...I love her.

This will probably be my last post on this blog. It has been real. But I think this chapter of my life has closed. I will keep blogging though... at another space. Stay tuned for the new link. Love ya!

Hey!

So life...is wonderful!

I just haven't had the time or energy to blog. Work has been interesting. I will expound... but i have a lot of catching up to do on the writing front. So within the next 7 days I will update you with all the goings on in my life.

Ta ta!

I'm Home

July 3-July 28th. That's how long I was away from my baby! Out of control.

I learned that PARENTS usually make mountains out of ant hills so they never get to learn about the mountains. *** Marinate on that 4 a minute ***

Texting is not that bad. You get used to it; but I would much rather talk on the phone even if we are both just breathing. LMAO.

You have to believe that your life can be exactly what you want it to be.

My house is brick, wood, etc. But my heart is here; therefore it is home. So glad to be back.

Tell you more later.

I'm in Florida

Hey people! I am in the "rainy" Sunshine State. It has rained almost every day. I can't complain though...because when it was hot, it was BLAZING!!!!

I spent the 4th of July with my mom, aunt, and 3 cousins in Hollywood Beach, FL. It was so beautiful, relaxing, and fun. Ya'll should've seen me asleep on the beach. That little power nap did me some good until the people next to us started shooting fire crackers! Stupidos! Anywho...we didn't stay for the fireworks at the beach, but it seemed like every little neighborhood had their own display going on.

Since that weekend, I have been at my mom's house. And trying to relax...but you all who stay at home know how that can be. But it has been enlightening. I am more like my mother than I care to admit. It's sickening. Oh well... what can a girl do?