I have had many enchanting experiences lately. Do you believe in angels? Have you ever felt like something or someone has your back in the spirit world? I would really like to hear some of your experiences.
I have read a few books in the last month that really made me believe in a higher power:
Ask Your Guides by Sonia Choquette
Diary of a Psychic by Sonia Choquette
Life Among the Dead by Lisa Williams
Do Dead People Watch You Shower by Concetta Bertoldi
and then this book about angels and ascended masters by Doreen Virtue. This one was a little different, but interesting to say the least.
I started reading just because I felt drawn to the books. I felt like I was being pulled to them. And once I picked them up, I couldn't put them down.
The consensus of the first 4 books is that there is a "spirit world" or "other side". When we cross over, we get a "review of our life". This sounds familiar, right? We are met by ancestors, spirits from past lives, angels, God, and spirit masters or teachers.
The other thing that caught my attention in the books is that it talked about how there is a such thing as reincarnation, Jesus does exist, and God is Love. There aren't bodies in the traditional sense but "light". And that we are surrounded by the light which is love. Does this make sense? What do you think?
I could jive with this information because it lends credence to my idea that we are all put here to find out if we can get along. Like- with all of our differences, do we have the capacity to show each other our true essence- which is love. I think that's God's test and unfortunately == we have room for improvement. That's just one lesson I entertained. If I think of more, I will share.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Commentary: The American Healthcare System
I must unequivocally note that America does not have the greatest healthcare system in the world. We may have the most expensive, even the most agressive- but the best? Clearly, the superego has gotten in the way of rational thinking about healthcare.
The debate has gone on far too long. Capitalism versus socialism all leads down to one thing - control. The "haves" want to dictate to the "havenots". How many people without healthcare insurance have you heard complain about healthcare reform? Instead of saying who can go see the "best doctors" and use the "best machines" with the "best insurance", we should be trying to make sure that citizens of "the economic powerhouse" have access to the basic necessities. Health insurance is a necessity. It is essential to the overall physiological and safety of the self.
Some contend that capitalism offers the opportunity for healthcare to be offered in an economical way. However, there is already a capitalistic nature to healthcare and it is not working. There are those who can afford to have their doctor on standby while others simply must wait and pray for a sober physician. Of course all doctors are not horrible, but many will tell you that they are not paid enough. If the doctors feel underpaid and overworked- are they doing their best work?
I have fallen in love with the concept that some doctors take - no insurance. That's right; simply put- the doctor does not accept insurance for services. They ask for cash only and it is a flat rate fee. I especially like doctors who conduct the labwork in the office (then I don't get that silly bill two months later.)
How many of you have ever gone to the doctor, paid the deductible/bill, and still left without knowing what was really wrong or what tests were being run? If you knew what tests were being conducted, did you know how much it cost before the procedure was completed? Aren't you tired of being ignorant about your healthcare bills? This saga has occurred to many Americans in several different arenas: community health clinic, emergency room, private physician, urgent care facilities, etc. When is enough- enough?
The best healthcare system in the world cares about all of the constituents; not just the ones who can afford premiums, deductibles, and such. Unfortunately, America doesn't fit the bill.
The debate has gone on far too long. Capitalism versus socialism all leads down to one thing - control. The "haves" want to dictate to the "havenots". How many people without healthcare insurance have you heard complain about healthcare reform? Instead of saying who can go see the "best doctors" and use the "best machines" with the "best insurance", we should be trying to make sure that citizens of "the economic powerhouse" have access to the basic necessities. Health insurance is a necessity. It is essential to the overall physiological and safety of the self.
Some contend that capitalism offers the opportunity for healthcare to be offered in an economical way. However, there is already a capitalistic nature to healthcare and it is not working. There are those who can afford to have their doctor on standby while others simply must wait and pray for a sober physician. Of course all doctors are not horrible, but many will tell you that they are not paid enough. If the doctors feel underpaid and overworked- are they doing their best work?
I have fallen in love with the concept that some doctors take - no insurance. That's right; simply put- the doctor does not accept insurance for services. They ask for cash only and it is a flat rate fee. I especially like doctors who conduct the labwork in the office (then I don't get that silly bill two months later.)
How many of you have ever gone to the doctor, paid the deductible/bill, and still left without knowing what was really wrong or what tests were being run? If you knew what tests were being conducted, did you know how much it cost before the procedure was completed? Aren't you tired of being ignorant about your healthcare bills? This saga has occurred to many Americans in several different arenas: community health clinic, emergency room, private physician, urgent care facilities, etc. When is enough- enough?
The best healthcare system in the world cares about all of the constituents; not just the ones who can afford premiums, deductibles, and such. Unfortunately, America doesn't fit the bill.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Can’t Run From It
In September, I tried to extricate myself from "That Gay Girl Tamara". Not because I was uncomfortable with my sexuality, but because I felt trapped in the "brand". Is that all I am: a black Christian lesbian with a very conservative mother? Certainly not.
But as I tried to switch gears for "Just Tamara"—trying to create an authentic representative of my total self—the more "gay" I felt.
My life revolves around my loves: the love of my life happens to be at the top of the list.
She is a part of me. The blog originally started because I was outing myself. Since I spent the most time without her in the last year, she is evenmoreso. (I guess space does make the heart grow fonder.) My other loves: fashion, books, food, décor, travel, etc. fit into my life quite nicely. However, my identity as a young, Black American, lesbian isn't going anywhere. So I might as well embrace it. Even in my writings, I have grappled with whether or not I want to write for an lgbt or mainstream audience. (I don't think I have to choose, the story will dictate its path.)
However, I don't care to put myself in little boxes any longer.
Currently, all of the posts have been merged into both sites: Just Tamara and TGGT. I know some people made the transition while others did not…and that's okay. I will be posting blogs on both sites. They will probably be identical. I figure if you are at work and don't want to be ousted…go to the JT page and if you don't care either way- TGGT is for you.
I thank you for your time, comments, and support. I truly have enjoyed sharing my life with you.
Monday, January 18, 2010
New Motto
there's nothing wrong with wanting to change the world. just remember that you are only responsible for being your best and that makes the world a better place.
being my best self is a contribution to the world.
being my best self is a contribution to the world.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
My Life Updated
So we finally celebrated that 10 year anniversary (11/18). It was funny because, during the same time period our sewer system had a blockage. That was sooooo gross. But at least this time, we could afford to get it fixed without begging people for money. It feels so good to be financially independent again. Times are good!
For the anniversary, we didn't do much special...accept spend some quality time with one another. On Thursday (the day after) we went to the theater to see Seussical.
I can't say that I was into it at all. It was quite busy and boring. Horton Hears A Who is more likeable. I think if I hadn't seen the movie, I may have liked the play a little more.
I am also actively writing my first piece of fiction. I don't remember the last time I wrote fiction. Let's just say, it has been a very long time; probably 13 years. But this novel is at the focal point of my life. It is something that I have to do. I completed my overall story outline, my chapter outline, and now I am working on my scenes. I want it to be a page-turner.
We have a writing circle that we attend 2x's a month. It is always relevant and keeps my creative juices flowing. I enjoy those evenings so much. We usually meet at someone's house or a coffee shop. Maybe I will suggest Barnes and Noble for next time. They have more seating room.
I spend a lot of time at the library now. I have read so many books. But I have also put down a lot of books. If I can't get into it...I don't even waste my time anymore. If I read the end, and it is juicy-- then I will turn back and read from where I left off. I especially do this if I can't find the climax point in the story. That's really good-- a book shouldn't be that predictable. So yea, a lot of reading in my schedule.
What else?
Well, my family and friends are fine. Oh, we are planning to get married in 2011. If the US doesn't have federal marriage rights available to us, we are going to Canada. I don't want to get married in some place that picks and chooses if I am equal depending on the day. Well, really, we chose Canada already--but I suspect, if the US gets its act together, we would stay here and get married. IDK. Only time will tell.
While I was in Florida, I did get to connect with some old friends. It was fun. But I don't want to be in the sunshine state for that long. Honestly, I don't need month long vacations. A couple of days are all I need: travel on Thursday, relax on Friday and Saturday, and come back on Sunday.I am good too go.
Well that's all for now. If I think of something else...I will let you know.
For the anniversary, we didn't do much special...accept spend some quality time with one another. On Thursday (the day after) we went to the theater to see Seussical.
I can't say that I was into it at all. It was quite busy and boring. Horton Hears A Who is more likeable. I think if I hadn't seen the movie, I may have liked the play a little more.
I am also actively writing my first piece of fiction. I don't remember the last time I wrote fiction. Let's just say, it has been a very long time; probably 13 years. But this novel is at the focal point of my life. It is something that I have to do. I completed my overall story outline, my chapter outline, and now I am working on my scenes. I want it to be a page-turner.
We have a writing circle that we attend 2x's a month. It is always relevant and keeps my creative juices flowing. I enjoy those evenings so much. We usually meet at someone's house or a coffee shop. Maybe I will suggest Barnes and Noble for next time. They have more seating room.
I spend a lot of time at the library now. I have read so many books. But I have also put down a lot of books. If I can't get into it...I don't even waste my time anymore. If I read the end, and it is juicy-- then I will turn back and read from where I left off. I especially do this if I can't find the climax point in the story. That's really good-- a book shouldn't be that predictable. So yea, a lot of reading in my schedule.
What else?
Well, my family and friends are fine. Oh, we are planning to get married in 2011. If the US doesn't have federal marriage rights available to us, we are going to Canada. I don't want to get married in some place that picks and chooses if I am equal depending on the day. Well, really, we chose Canada already--but I suspect, if the US gets its act together, we would stay here and get married. IDK. Only time will tell.
While I was in Florida, I did get to connect with some old friends. It was fun. But I don't want to be in the sunshine state for that long. Honestly, I don't need month long vacations. A couple of days are all I need: travel on Thursday, relax on Friday and Saturday, and come back on Sunday.I am good too go.
Well that's all for now. If I think of something else...I will let you know.
Loved It
The AMA's made me a fan of Lady GaGa (is that how you spell it?) and Adam Lambert. These two cd's will be bought on black friday.
So proud that he came out and gave an authentic performance. Loved it.
And LG-- never been into (MTV VMA's didn't turn me on either), but performance was intense--loved it.
Shakira also sparked my interest. The whole stepping and all the sisters represented in that performance- Lovely. going to be doing that pelvic thrust as part of my workout.
Mary J. Blige never disappoints.
Will be buying Janet's #1's cd. That woman has some hits.
Sad that J.Lo fell-- but still enjoyed the song. Thought it was cute how she changed the shoes at the end.
More into fashion these days-- totally unexpected outfits.
Rihanna- not what I would have chosen, if I were her stylist; but it was cute in its own way.
P.S. too sleepy for any other adjective...so love has to do. Ciao!
So proud that he came out and gave an authentic performance. Loved it.
And LG-- never been into (MTV VMA's didn't turn me on either), but performance was intense--loved it.
Shakira also sparked my interest. The whole stepping and all the sisters represented in that performance- Lovely. going to be doing that pelvic thrust as part of my workout.
Mary J. Blige never disappoints.
Will be buying Janet's #1's cd. That woman has some hits.
Sad that J.Lo fell-- but still enjoyed the song. Thought it was cute how she changed the shoes at the end.
More into fashion these days-- totally unexpected outfits.
Rihanna- not what I would have chosen, if I were her stylist; but it was cute in its own way.
P.S. too sleepy for any other adjective...so love has to do. Ciao!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Boomerang
The more I try to focus on other aspects of my personality in friendly relationships, the more my sexuality rears its head.
I met some new people at an artists meeting and I didn't disclose my "status". I know it sounds like a disease, but I just don't think it is anyone's business. If you tell someone you are gay, most of the time they don't think about relationship they think about sex...And I don't want people thinking about what I do in the bedroom with my girlfriend...You know this already---so just humor me for a minute.
We got invited to go to church and I accepted the invitation because it was "Family & Friends Day". That means there was special seating and food after the service. As a member of the "Gone Big Girls" Society since college and being cheap...I have never passed up the opportunity for anything free...food, or otherwise. Plus, I hadn't been able to go to the church, in which I am a member, for some time now--a little worship was needed.
Upon walking in the service and seeing the message of the day, something like: Marriage: Whatever happened to God's original plan, I got that "Oh no" feeling. Then I opened the program and the "Responsive Reading" was a poem. The line "Homosexuality is still a sin" immediately caught my eye. I tried to get my girlfriends attention. She sat one row in front of me. We eventually looked and gave each other "that look".
Evenstill, I was curious about this experience...as I have never been in that sermon where homosexuality is so vehemently despised. It was sad to say the least. It made me even more grateful for my relationship with such a loving God. One who isn't so vengent and allows me to make my own decisions and gives me the wisdom to make choices about love not ruled by fear.
I decided then that "free" would not be a good enough reason to do anything anymore. That delicious plate of food cost me something that no one should ever have to pay. If I hadn't worked on my relationship with God long ago, I could only imagine how the day would have turned out. On the contrary, I didn't feel bad for not saying the responsive reading or yelling "amen" or "thank you Jesus" every five minutes. I simply observed these people who all claimed to be loving Christians talk so ugly about people. Even the songs were depressing: "The rapture is coming very soon..."
The biggest lesson I learned was that I joined the congregation I joined for a reason and I need to get my hindpots back over there. I miss the uplifting singing, moments of laughter (the pastor thinks he is a comedian), and all around joyous time I have praising and thanking God for all the many blessings bestowed upon me.
Upon returning home, all I could think was "WOW."
I met some new people at an artists meeting and I didn't disclose my "status". I know it sounds like a disease, but I just don't think it is anyone's business. If you tell someone you are gay, most of the time they don't think about relationship they think about sex...And I don't want people thinking about what I do in the bedroom with my girlfriend...You know this already---so just humor me for a minute.
We got invited to go to church and I accepted the invitation because it was "Family & Friends Day". That means there was special seating and food after the service. As a member of the "Gone Big Girls" Society since college and being cheap...I have never passed up the opportunity for anything free...food, or otherwise. Plus, I hadn't been able to go to the church, in which I am a member, for some time now--a little worship was needed.
Upon walking in the service and seeing the message of the day, something like: Marriage: Whatever happened to God's original plan, I got that "Oh no" feeling. Then I opened the program and the "Responsive Reading" was a poem. The line "Homosexuality is still a sin" immediately caught my eye. I tried to get my girlfriends attention. She sat one row in front of me. We eventually looked and gave each other "that look".
Evenstill, I was curious about this experience...as I have never been in that sermon where homosexuality is so vehemently despised. It was sad to say the least. It made me even more grateful for my relationship with such a loving God. One who isn't so vengent and allows me to make my own decisions and gives me the wisdom to make choices about love not ruled by fear.
I decided then that "free" would not be a good enough reason to do anything anymore. That delicious plate of food cost me something that no one should ever have to pay. If I hadn't worked on my relationship with God long ago, I could only imagine how the day would have turned out. On the contrary, I didn't feel bad for not saying the responsive reading or yelling "amen" or "thank you Jesus" every five minutes. I simply observed these people who all claimed to be loving Christians talk so ugly about people. Even the songs were depressing: "The rapture is coming very soon..."
The biggest lesson I learned was that I joined the congregation I joined for a reason and I need to get my hindpots back over there. I miss the uplifting singing, moments of laughter (the pastor thinks he is a comedian), and all around joyous time I have praising and thanking God for all the many blessings bestowed upon me.
Upon returning home, all I could think was "WOW."
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