Congratulations D.C.

I am totally geaked about DC allowing marriage for two consenting adults regardless of sex. That is progress. All the metro area people now have the burden of paying that $45 dollar filing fee and tying the knot. Congratulations. Here are some great pictures!

In wedding preparations I found a great website:  so you're enGAYged

There is an Etsy shop that makes custome cake toppers: The Enchanted Cupboard

All you need to know about DC Marriages is here.

Boomerang

The more I try to focus on other aspects of my personality in friendly relationships, the more my sexuality rears its head.

I met some new people at an artists meeting and I didn't disclose my "status". I know it sounds like a disease, but I just don't think it is anyone's business. If you tell someone you are gay, most of the time they don't think about relationship they think about sex...And I don't want people thinking about what I do in the bedroom with my girlfriend...You know this already---so just humor me for a minute.

We got invited to go to church and I accepted the invitation because it was "Family & Friends Day". That means there was special seating and food after the service. As a member of the "Gone Big Girls" Society since college and being cheap...I have never passed up the opportunity for anything free...food, or otherwise. Plus, I hadn't been able to go to the church, in which I am a member, for some time now--a little worship was needed.

Upon walking in the service and seeing the message of the day, something like: Marriage: Whatever happened to God's original plan, I got that "Oh no" feeling. Then I opened the program and the "Responsive Reading" was a poem. The line "Homosexuality is still a sin" immediately caught my eye. I tried to get my girlfriends attention. She sat one row in front of me. We eventually looked and gave each other "that look".

Evenstill, I was curious about this experience...as I have never been in that sermon where homosexuality is so vehemently despised. It was sad to say the least. It made me even more grateful for my relationship with such a loving God. One who isn't so vengent and allows me to make my own decisions and gives me the wisdom to make choices about love not ruled by fear.

I decided then that "free" would not be a good enough reason to do anything anymore. That delicious plate of food cost me something that no one should ever have to pay. If I hadn't worked on my relationship with God long ago, I could only imagine how the day would have turned out. On the contrary, I didn't feel bad for not saying the responsive reading or yelling "amen" or "thank you Jesus" every five minutes. I simply observed these people who all claimed to be loving Christians talk so ugly about people. Even the songs were depressing: "The rapture is coming very soon..."

The biggest lesson I learned was that I joined the congregation I joined for a reason and I need to get my hindpots back over there. I miss the uplifting singing, moments of laughter (the pastor thinks he is a comedian), and all around joyous time I have praising and thanking God for all the many blessings bestowed upon me.

Upon returning home, all I could think was "WOW."

Sex on the Brain Pt. 2

So I have really been busy this week. I mean, I wanted to post and read blogs, but I could only manage the reading part. Ya'll are some funny people. I must confess though, reading blogs isn't what is monopolizing my time.

SEX has me on the go.

I am not a nympho. But I finally decided to follow my heart and took a leap of faith to become the sex diva I always thought of myself as. Do you remember my big dream of becoming a lgbt-centered relationship therapist and maybe even getting into a syndicated program? (A lot of that was in the comments of the Sex on the Brain post.) Well my dream has been put into action and I am now a Pure Romance Consultant. Thanks Tammy!

So excited! Right now, I am still contemplating whether to go for the counseling degree. I mean they just really go hand in hand. But I don't know if I really need it. Plus I already have a health educator degree and that will already prove useful. As time progresses, I am sure that will be made clear. I just like school ya'll, so pay me no mind. I mean like I really really like going to class and having intellectual conversations. I digress.

I am heading to Florida in a couple of weeks to do 2 parties: one with my momma and the other with my aunt. I am a little nervous because it is my momma, but Hey...she's open minded when it comes to sex; just not sexual orientation. LOL. She's so funny.

An attack on love...

Some people find it hard to believe that I am and have no problem with religion/sexuality and that I actually call myself a christian.

Here's the thing: If I believe that 1. I am a child of God, 2. He knew me before I knew myself, and 3. That God created me in his image then I must believe that 1. I am loved, 2. This is no surprise to him, and 3. I am not the abomination that others try to make me out to be.

I believe that it is our responsibility to practice loving. God loved us so much that he gave his son's life for us. (This is what I believe, whatever your religion I am sure there is a similar ideology). In return, we should continue to pay that love forward. Love.

An attack on gay marriage is an attack on love. Shouldn't we want love in our society? Wouldn't love make our society better? Relationships stronger? Whether it is big love or small love, shouldn't we be encouraging healthy loving relationships in all of its forms--especially between consenting adults?

Wouldn't that make for a stronger America?

Maybe we should eliminate marriages all together. It isn't creating the desired results. It doesn't keep a relationship or family unit together. What it does is give people who get married, special rights (tax breaks, visitation rights, etc). Marriage doesn't create a family....it manages families.

As a matter of fact, marriage is not even talked about in the bible as a necessity. Let me hush, I do not think you all are ready for that conversation yet.

New campaign: No on Marriage, Yes on Love?

Yeah, I said it, now what?

The Gay Marriage Thing, Part 1

On my way home the other night, I got to thinking about marriage again. I remember when I was younger, I didn't want to get married. I didn't see the benefit. My mother was not married to my father, I saw ok--but not great relationships...mostly arguing or the woman doing what the man told her to do. The feminist in me said, "what the F* ever". I vowed to not live my life looking or needing a man.

I was content in going to college to get a degree and create a career, not to find a husband like so many of my other counterparts.

I wanted to own 3 homes: one in Florida, one on an island (preferably Jamaica), and one in the mountains.

I imagined weekends with the girls; hanging out, clubbing, shopping or just relaxing around the house with a good book.

Never did getting married seem like a viable option for me...now shacking up, maybe, but it was against my religion. (LOL, how funny)

For me, married meant being tied to a man that I would come to resent, but stay married too so that I wouldn't go to hell. (cuz divorce is a sin)

I thought about all of this in that 20 minute ride and I wondered, is there something more than marriage? Is there a better word-- a stronger word -- one filled with pure joy, lust, love, romance, compromise? "Civil union" seems so generic and unloving. Domestic partnership, that's akin to roommates.

Our relationships are not generic or unloving, and we are definitely bedmates, not roommates. I've racked my head, and still can't come up with the right word...any ideas?

Every gay girl should have...

$34.99 at Barnes and Noble, cheaper than some marriage licenses, more valuable than an engagement ring. My whole gripe with the current marriage law in NC is that I can marry my first cousin, yes...my aunts son, my mom's sister's son, but I can't marry my girlfriend. Now that's just nasty.

Next addition to the would you rather series:

Would you rather marry someone of the same gender or marry a relative?

One Monkey Don't Stop No Show....

Many people are discouraged that even though Barack Obama was elected president many gay marriage initiatives have been defeated (at least for now). I think people must take a page out of Barack's book. You have to remain positive and keep it moving.

Don't let the drama, and fear of others control your outlook on life in this country. Keep being the wonderful person that God created. And remain steadfast, unmoveable, and unwavering in your belief that you will be able to get married to your significant other one day. I refuse to think of these circumstances as permanent...it is just a temporary present, getting ready for a phenomenal future.

As a matter of fact, why are we allowing other people to dictate our future? You don't need the states to tell you that you can get married. If you want to get married...damn it get married. Call your boo...your wife,,,instead of your partner/significant other/lover. Go to a church (there are many that perform gay marriages) and ask the minister to perform your wedding. Here in NC, Rev Tonya Rawls is a phenomenal minister who I know when we are ready will be performing our wedding. Get all of your paperwork in order and move on with your life.

Stop talking about what others' won't allow us to do and just do it, if that is what you want to do. That's what Barack did.