So we finally celebrated that 10 year anniversary (11/18). It was funny because, during the same time period our sewer system had a blockage. That was sooooo gross. But at least this time, we could afford to get it fixed without begging people for money. It feels so good to be financially independent again. Times are good!
For the anniversary, we didn't do much special...accept spend some quality time with one another. On Thursday (the day after) we went to the theater to see Seussical.
I can't say that I was into it at all. It was quite busy and boring. Horton Hears A Who is more likeable. I think if I hadn't seen the movie, I may have liked the play a little more.
I am also actively writing my first piece of fiction. I don't remember the last time I wrote fiction. Let's just say, it has been a very long time; probably 13 years. But this novel is at the focal point of my life. It is something that I have to do. I completed my overall story outline, my chapter outline, and now I am working on my scenes. I want it to be a page-turner.
We have a writing circle that we attend 2x's a month. It is always relevant and keeps my creative juices flowing. I enjoy those evenings so much. We usually meet at someone's house or a coffee shop. Maybe I will suggest Barnes and Noble for next time. They have more seating room.
I spend a lot of time at the library now. I have read so many books. But I have also put down a lot of books. If I can't get into it...I don't even waste my time anymore. If I read the end, and it is juicy-- then I will turn back and read from where I left off. I especially do this if I can't find the climax point in the story. That's really good-- a book shouldn't be that predictable. So yea, a lot of reading in my schedule.
What else?
Well, my family and friends are fine. Oh, we are planning to get married in 2011. If the US doesn't have federal marriage rights available to us, we are going to Canada. I don't want to get married in some place that picks and chooses if I am equal depending on the day. Well, really, we chose Canada already--but I suspect, if the US gets its act together, we would stay here and get married. IDK. Only time will tell.
While I was in Florida, I did get to connect with some old friends. It was fun. But I don't want to be in the sunshine state for that long. Honestly, I don't need month long vacations. A couple of days are all I need: travel on Thursday, relax on Friday and Saturday, and come back on Sunday.I am good too go.
Well that's all for now. If I think of something else...I will let you know.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Loved It
The AMA's made me a fan of Lady GaGa (is that how you spell it?) and Adam Lambert. These two cd's will be bought on black friday.
So proud that he came out and gave an authentic performance. Loved it.
And LG-- never been into (MTV VMA's didn't turn me on either), but performance was intense--loved it.
Shakira also sparked my interest. The whole stepping and all the sisters represented in that performance- Lovely. going to be doing that pelvic thrust as part of my workout.
Mary J. Blige never disappoints.
Will be buying Janet's #1's cd. That woman has some hits.
Sad that J.Lo fell-- but still enjoyed the song. Thought it was cute how she changed the shoes at the end.
More into fashion these days-- totally unexpected outfits.
Rihanna- not what I would have chosen, if I were her stylist; but it was cute in its own way.
P.S. too sleepy for any other adjective...so love has to do. Ciao!
So proud that he came out and gave an authentic performance. Loved it.
And LG-- never been into (MTV VMA's didn't turn me on either), but performance was intense--loved it.
Shakira also sparked my interest. The whole stepping and all the sisters represented in that performance- Lovely. going to be doing that pelvic thrust as part of my workout.
Mary J. Blige never disappoints.
Will be buying Janet's #1's cd. That woman has some hits.
Sad that J.Lo fell-- but still enjoyed the song. Thought it was cute how she changed the shoes at the end.
More into fashion these days-- totally unexpected outfits.
Rihanna- not what I would have chosen, if I were her stylist; but it was cute in its own way.
P.S. too sleepy for any other adjective...so love has to do. Ciao!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Boomerang
The more I try to focus on other aspects of my personality in friendly relationships, the more my sexuality rears its head.
I met some new people at an artists meeting and I didn't disclose my "status". I know it sounds like a disease, but I just don't think it is anyone's business. If you tell someone you are gay, most of the time they don't think about relationship they think about sex...And I don't want people thinking about what I do in the bedroom with my girlfriend...You know this already---so just humor me for a minute.
We got invited to go to church and I accepted the invitation because it was "Family & Friends Day". That means there was special seating and food after the service. As a member of the "Gone Big Girls" Society since college and being cheap...I have never passed up the opportunity for anything free...food, or otherwise. Plus, I hadn't been able to go to the church, in which I am a member, for some time now--a little worship was needed.
Upon walking in the service and seeing the message of the day, something like: Marriage: Whatever happened to God's original plan, I got that "Oh no" feeling. Then I opened the program and the "Responsive Reading" was a poem. The line "Homosexuality is still a sin" immediately caught my eye. I tried to get my girlfriends attention. She sat one row in front of me. We eventually looked and gave each other "that look".
Evenstill, I was curious about this experience...as I have never been in that sermon where homosexuality is so vehemently despised. It was sad to say the least. It made me even more grateful for my relationship with such a loving God. One who isn't so vengent and allows me to make my own decisions and gives me the wisdom to make choices about love not ruled by fear.
I decided then that "free" would not be a good enough reason to do anything anymore. That delicious plate of food cost me something that no one should ever have to pay. If I hadn't worked on my relationship with God long ago, I could only imagine how the day would have turned out. On the contrary, I didn't feel bad for not saying the responsive reading or yelling "amen" or "thank you Jesus" every five minutes. I simply observed these people who all claimed to be loving Christians talk so ugly about people. Even the songs were depressing: "The rapture is coming very soon..."
The biggest lesson I learned was that I joined the congregation I joined for a reason and I need to get my hindpots back over there. I miss the uplifting singing, moments of laughter (the pastor thinks he is a comedian), and all around joyous time I have praising and thanking God for all the many blessings bestowed upon me.
Upon returning home, all I could think was "WOW."
I met some new people at an artists meeting and I didn't disclose my "status". I know it sounds like a disease, but I just don't think it is anyone's business. If you tell someone you are gay, most of the time they don't think about relationship they think about sex...And I don't want people thinking about what I do in the bedroom with my girlfriend...You know this already---so just humor me for a minute.
We got invited to go to church and I accepted the invitation because it was "Family & Friends Day". That means there was special seating and food after the service. As a member of the "Gone Big Girls" Society since college and being cheap...I have never passed up the opportunity for anything free...food, or otherwise. Plus, I hadn't been able to go to the church, in which I am a member, for some time now--a little worship was needed.
Upon walking in the service and seeing the message of the day, something like: Marriage: Whatever happened to God's original plan, I got that "Oh no" feeling. Then I opened the program and the "Responsive Reading" was a poem. The line "Homosexuality is still a sin" immediately caught my eye. I tried to get my girlfriends attention. She sat one row in front of me. We eventually looked and gave each other "that look".
Evenstill, I was curious about this experience...as I have never been in that sermon where homosexuality is so vehemently despised. It was sad to say the least. It made me even more grateful for my relationship with such a loving God. One who isn't so vengent and allows me to make my own decisions and gives me the wisdom to make choices about love not ruled by fear.
I decided then that "free" would not be a good enough reason to do anything anymore. That delicious plate of food cost me something that no one should ever have to pay. If I hadn't worked on my relationship with God long ago, I could only imagine how the day would have turned out. On the contrary, I didn't feel bad for not saying the responsive reading or yelling "amen" or "thank you Jesus" every five minutes. I simply observed these people who all claimed to be loving Christians talk so ugly about people. Even the songs were depressing: "The rapture is coming very soon..."
The biggest lesson I learned was that I joined the congregation I joined for a reason and I need to get my hindpots back over there. I miss the uplifting singing, moments of laughter (the pastor thinks he is a comedian), and all around joyous time I have praising and thanking God for all the many blessings bestowed upon me.
Upon returning home, all I could think was "WOW."
Friday, October 16, 2009
A Poem of Friendship by Nikki Giovanni excerpted from Love Poems
"A Poem of Friendship"
We are not lovers
because of the love
we make
but the love
we have
We are not friends
because of the laughs
we spend
but the tears
we save
I don't want to be near you
for the thoughts we share
but the words we never have
to speak
I will never miss you
because of what we do
but what we are
together
We are not lovers
because of the love
we make
but the love
we have
We are not friends
because of the laughs
we spend
but the tears
we save
I don't want to be near you
for the thoughts we share
but the words we never have
to speak
I will never miss you
because of what we do
but what we are
together
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Weddings
I loved The Office last night. I don't keep up with characters names but it was the wedding episode. I loved it. It made me think about my own wedding and who would be invited. I already know my family is not on the list-except for my little cousin (he's 23, I know not so little). But the day should be special-- full of love and joy-- not stress. I have found myself contemplating whether or not I would tell my mom or leave it be. I think I am just going to do what makes me happy for a change and not deal with the control freaks by which I am surrounded. It's avoidance I know, but at this time in my life, I don't really care anymore. This is a recurring theme here-- doing stuff to make other people happy. Our wedding will not have that ring to it. The only person I care about being happy is the other bride and myself. Awww... I can't wait for the day.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Birthday Gifts
Yesterday was my mom's birthday. She had the nerve to call me the day before to remind me that it was her birthday-- as if I would forget. I had no idea what to give her. When I was at home, I tried to get her to do a gift personality quiz over at Gifts.com. That was the most trying experience. I know she was trying to be modest and grateful but when you have either/or questions, you don't expect "I don't know. Whatever you get me will be fine," as an answer.
See, I know that "anything" will not do. I have bought her perfume-- "Do you think I stink?" My uncle bought her a sandwich maker-- " You know I don't dammit cook." LOL -- I think that was the funniest. I bought her clothes-- " I don't like that! That is not my style." My granny bought her a sweater one year-- "Thank you. It looks comfortable and nice enough for an old person." Yes! My mother is that hard to shop for.
My girlfriend suggested that I complete the quiz for her. I did and I came up with the perfect gift. I got her a business card holder from Things Remembered and had it engraved with her name and birthday. It is a good gift for 3 reasons:
1. It has an American flag on the front. She is a Republican and very, very, very, very, very, patriotic. Everytime I turn around she is trying to put an American flag on something- book covers, brochures, fliers, etc.
2. She will take it out to show it off. Anytime my mothers name is on something (newspapers, programs, etc.), she will show it off.
3. It can't be returned. She won't want to waste money, so she will use it just the same. Plus she doesn't have one, but her business cards are always in her purse. This will be a nice elegant touch.
It still has to be shipped. But a lot of the online retailers now feature e-card gift announcements. I absolutely love it. I bought it but I don't have to fret about her thinking that I didn't get her something. It was a really cute card and the site allowed me to schedule it's delivery. She responded favorably to the e-card. I will let you know how she responds to the actual gift.
See, I know that "anything" will not do. I have bought her perfume-- "Do you think I stink?" My uncle bought her a sandwich maker-- " You know I don't dammit cook." LOL -- I think that was the funniest. I bought her clothes-- " I don't like that! That is not my style." My granny bought her a sweater one year-- "Thank you. It looks comfortable and nice enough for an old person." Yes! My mother is that hard to shop for.
My girlfriend suggested that I complete the quiz for her. I did and I came up with the perfect gift. I got her a business card holder from Things Remembered and had it engraved with her name and birthday. It is a good gift for 3 reasons:
1. It has an American flag on the front. She is a Republican and very, very, very, very, very, patriotic. Everytime I turn around she is trying to put an American flag on something- book covers, brochures, fliers, etc.
2. She will take it out to show it off. Anytime my mothers name is on something (newspapers, programs, etc.), she will show it off.
3. It can't be returned. She won't want to waste money, so she will use it just the same. Plus she doesn't have one, but her business cards are always in her purse. This will be a nice elegant touch.
It still has to be shipped. But a lot of the online retailers now feature e-card gift announcements. I absolutely love it. I bought it but I don't have to fret about her thinking that I didn't get her something. It was a really cute card and the site allowed me to schedule it's delivery. She responded favorably to the e-card. I will let you know how she responds to the actual gift.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
1 Year
I have been so busy that I didn't even realize that I had reached my one year blogging anniversary. I know. That is pretty sad. But I found myself in sort of a writer's slump/block/uncooperative mood.
Then this whole gay thing just kind of got to me. I am so tired of the name "That Gay Girl Tamara". My sexuality is only a little piece of me. I am not an angry, black, man-hating lesbian. I don't have issues with religion. I don't like judging folks because I then feel like a hypocrite. At the same time, I don't like other people judging folks so I in-turn judge them and I feel like a hypocrite. So I had to stop hanging around, talking to, emailing, reading the blogs of, being friends with those types of people.
I met some really cool people through blogging though (Alix, Tammy, Glennisha, Ladybug, Monie, Sarah, and many others.) These ladies helped me see things in different ways. I mean, I feel like I have really grown up over the last year. I turned 30. Wow. My mom and I have come full circle in our relationship. We don't necessarily see eye to eye; but who does? I can only focus on me and my happiness. So that's what I have started to do. The love of my life is still the love of my life. I think evenmoreso. She is truly ...I love her.
This will probably be my last post on this blog. It has been real. But I think this chapter of my life has closed. I will keep blogging though... at another space. Stay tuned for the new link. Love ya!
Then this whole gay thing just kind of got to me. I am so tired of the name "That Gay Girl Tamara". My sexuality is only a little piece of me. I am not an angry, black, man-hating lesbian. I don't have issues with religion. I don't like judging folks because I then feel like a hypocrite. At the same time, I don't like other people judging folks so I in-turn judge them and I feel like a hypocrite. So I had to stop hanging around, talking to, emailing, reading the blogs of, being friends with those types of people.
I met some really cool people through blogging though (Alix, Tammy, Glennisha, Ladybug, Monie, Sarah, and many others.) These ladies helped me see things in different ways. I mean, I feel like I have really grown up over the last year. I turned 30. Wow. My mom and I have come full circle in our relationship. We don't necessarily see eye to eye; but who does? I can only focus on me and my happiness. So that's what I have started to do. The love of my life is still the love of my life. I think evenmoreso. She is truly ...I love her.
This will probably be my last post on this blog. It has been real. But I think this chapter of my life has closed. I will keep blogging though... at another space. Stay tuned for the new link. Love ya!
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