I hadn't blogged in 4ever

I almost forgot my login information. Well not really since it's my email login. But it feels like it has been ages. I love Spring and Summer. They are my favorite seasons. I get a little antsy and the exploration bug comes alive. I've pondered several questions over the past few weeks. Here are just a few:

Why do some straight people think there "marriages" are "better" or "different" from other relationships. I ran into an old co-worker and she said, "you're relationship is different from mine because I can't be around my husband that long. I need to get away from him sometimes." I took it as a compliment cuz I love being around my honey bear. Who needs to be in a relationship if you can't stand being around the other person? That's just ludicrous to me.

Why do parents think of their children always in age 5 mode? Some think that just because you are the child, you will always remain in "child mode". That's even more rediculous to me. I love that insurance commercial when the kids are asking for the keys to the car and curfew extension. Pops is looking at them in their pre-puberty state and they leave out of the house in teenage state. I love it.

I also thought about all of the times I lied to cover up my sexuality. It feels so good to be free and let that sin roll off my back.

And this isn't really a question, but more of a realization: We need more gay couples as friends. OMG! If I hear of another potluck, "game night" or "couples night" I might just scream. Especially since, I have no desire to hang out with a bunch of hetero couples. Not that there is anything wrong with them as individual couples, but get a bunch together and I just can't take it.

Ok! I think that is it for now. I hope you all have a wonderful evening!

Let's Get Real About Abuse!

With all of the media coverage (TMZ, Bloggers, Tom Joyner) on domestic violence; I am forced to comment on the Chris Brown and Rihanna situation. I am displeased with the discourse surrounding the incident for several reasons:

1. Domestic violence is not simply defined as "any time a man hits a woman". People are abused on a daily basis. I feel like this discussion is negating instead of bringing to light the circumstances surrounding their situations. Abuse occurs just because-without provocation. Some, just because they woke up that morning. Some abuse others for power, because they can mentally or physically dominate the other person. One could fix spaghetti for dinner and the abuser wanted pork chops; the next moment is filled with pain and anguish.

The mere physical confrontation between two individuals does not always equal abuse. It means that the anger has overrun the situation and they do not know how to verbally communicate further. Poor communication skills can cause people to say and do things that they will in turn regret. Individuals have to take responsibility for their actions and stop playing the role of the victim especially when they are not a victim.

2. Gender does not give you a free license to say and do whatever you want. Women can't just "say or do anything" especially in an argument and the expectation is that the other party will "do nothing" or "walk away". Why is society putting all of this pressure on men to always do the "right thing"? It is just ridiculous, unfair, and unrealistic.

If a woman decided that she just wants to pop her man upside the head because she felt like it and her man hits her, isn't it basic reflex that would make him hit her back? In this incident, the man would not view the person as a gender or opposite sex, but as an opponent. I doubt that there hasn't been that one incident where you got ticked off so much that anger ensued and logic went out the window. How could there possibly be any logic or sense involved when people are arguing?


3. Women abuse women; men abuse men; women abuse men, and men abuse women. The terms "violence against women" and "woman beater" are obsolete. Just because a man hits a woman does not make him an abuser. Just because a woman is hit by a man does not mean she is abused. Let's not forget about the people who do not fit society's mold of relationships. Also, there have been times when people look forward to having fights, women and men alike.

Overall, violence should not be a justified means for anything. We all need to keep our hands to ourselves. Strong communication skills are necessary for all relationships. Regardless whether someone is a celebrity or not, human instinct puts one into either a fight or flight mode. This situation just so happened to be a display of fight mode. This does not mean that Chris Brown is a bad person. Am I a bad person if I get in a fight with my cousin? No, it just means that the incident occurred and we probably have regrets.

We all need to have self-control over what we say, how we say it, what we do, and how we respond. Unlike cases of intimate relationship violence, in the case of Chris Brown and Rihanna, no one is a victim. Rihanna just had physical evidence from said conflict. But sometimes emotional and mental pain can run deeper than the appearance. And no one in the media seems to be discussing how both parties are feeling at this very moment or how their actions are inflicting deeper scars on these individuals and the nation as a whole.

LGBT Blogger Conference Day 3

The last day of the conference was really good. I didn't get to stay for the whole thing because my flight left early. I got to speak with Cathy Renna of Renna Communications (really really nice and great information). I kind of bounced from session to session trying to get a feel for everything before I left. This day was really about how to brand your blog, brand yourself, being appropriate for the media and making money from your blog. That's right making money from your blog. That was the session I missed altogether. But there is a book: BlogWild! A Guide for Small Business Blogging by Andy Wibbels.

Here are the other bloggers that were at the conference. I have most of them on my blogroll, but there are a few that I missed.

•BlogActive - Michael Rogers - http://www.pageoneq.com/ , http://www.blogactive.com/
•Boi From Troy - Scott Schmidt - http://www.boifromtroy.com
•Blabbeando - Andrés Duque - http://blabbeando.blogspot.com
•Burnt Orange Report - Karl-Thomas Muselman - http://www.burntorangereport.com
•Calitics - Brian Leubitz - http://calitics.com
•Dykes + Fags: Music by queers for queers - http://ninjatronics.blogspot.com
•(en)gender - Helen Boyd - http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/
•Existential Punk - Musings, Thoughts, Rants of Existential Punk - Adele Sakler - http://www.existentialpunk.com/
•GayAgenda - James Hipps - http://www.GayAgenda.com
•Gay Persons of Color - James Viloria - http://gay-persons-of-color.blogspot.com/
•Get Busy. Get Equal. - Sam Ritchie (ACLU LGBT Project) -http://gbge.aclu.org/content/blogsection/1/76/
•GoodAsYou - Jeremy Hooper - http://www.goodasyou.org
•Greta Christina's Blog - Greta Christina - http://gretachristina.typepad.com/
•hunter of justice - Nan Hunter - http://hunterforjustice.typepad.com/hunter_of_justice/
•InterstateQ.com - Matt Comer - http://www.interstateq.com/
•JoeMyGod - Joe Jervis - http://www.JoeMyGod.com/
•KnuckleCrack - Eric Leven - http://www.knucklecrack.blogspot.com
•Michael-in-Norfolk-Coming Out in Mid-Life - Michael Hamar - http://michael-in-norfolk.blogspot.com/
•Mombian - Dana Rudolph - http://www.mombian.com/
•Nathan Strang - Buffawhat - http://buffawhat.com
•Pam's House Blend - Pam Spaulding - http://www.pamshouseblend.com
•Pittsburgh Lesbian Correspondents - Sue Kerr - http://www.pghlesbian.com
•Project Q Atlanta - Matt Hennie - http://www.projectqatlanta.com/
•Rod 2.0 - Rod McCullom - http://www.rod20.com
•The Bilerico Project - http://www.bilerico.com
•The Mad Professah Lectures - Ron Buckmire - http://buckmire.blogspot.com/
•The New Gay - Michael Eichler - http://www.thenewgay.net
•The New Gay - Zack Rosen - http://www.thenewgay.net
•UK Gay News - Andy Harley - http://www.ukgaynews.org.uk
•Working Films - Lynn Casper - http://workingfilms.org

Check em out!

LGBT Blogger Conference Day 2

Day 2 of the blogger conference started out talking about blogger activism, how the Prop 8 and Amendment 2 (Florida) campaigns were managed online, and then I participated in a diversity on the web workshop and how to become a citizen journalist. This was great for me since I do want to make writing a career and I learned a lot about how people think, motivating factors, and really just how much religion and diversity dominate the discussion around homosexuality.

What I learned:

People want to be heard.
It is time to stop operating in fear.
Black folk don't have a monopoly on diversity.
There are many different viewpoints in the LGBT community.
Attacking religion is not a good defense when discussing LGBT issues.
Language is key in communication. (In school they called it word choice)
There is room at the table for different voices. It's time for us to sit down.
It is important to take responsibility for your own actions. Stop the blame game.
There are many ways to do something, some lead to more positive results than others.

It was a great day. I saw so many people needing and wanting to express their love, it's just built up inside ready to burst open on humanity.

The Gay Marriage Thing Part II

Marriage, Prop 8, Gay Marriage. Even though I am writing about it, and it is one topic that is seriously overdone, it didn't keep me from looking at the movie of the same title. It took me awhile to get the funds together (yes, $2 was that hard for me to come by) but it was well worth it!

"THE GAY MARRIAGE THING tells the stories behind the signs. Stories lived by people on both sides of the marriage debate. I chose quite deliberately to speak with people who did not agree with my life, let alone my opinion. People ask me if this was difficult. My answer is always a resounding yes. But that’s the point. True discussion and communication is often difficult. It is easy to ignore your opposer’s humanity while they ignore yours. It is less work to scream and shout than to take the time to find the right words to speak in a civil manner. It is less frightening to cover your ears and avoid hearing another’s story." (source: Stephanie Higgins)

That statement literally sent chills up and down my arms. This truth is so profound and and a foundation for engaging one another in true communication.

Check out the trailer:

I think this is a good time to add, although my mom and I have very different views on my life, I still love her and she still loves me. I guess she just won't be helping me to pick out my wedding dress. Oh well....naw let me take that back. Everyone is a critic, so I am sure she will have something to say about that too.