As you get ready to bring the New Year in, here are a few old wives tales and superstitions that my family reminds me of every year.
1. Don't wash clothes or clean up on New Years Day. If you do, you will clean/wash someone right out of the family.
2. A man is supposed to be the first one to come in your house on New Years Day. But I don't know why. Silly asses.
3. Eat greens or a green vegetable for money.
4. Eat black eye peas for luck.
5. Eat pork for health. Does that even make sense?
6. Whatever you are doing when midnight strikes, you will be doing for the rest of the year. That's why my family went to church and we would be praying as the new year rang in.
7. If you live in an urban area, stay away from the windows. Some people like to shoot off guns at midnight. Don't want to get hit by a stray bullet.
8. You aren't supposed to sweep out your door. Put it in a dustpan/paper/and throw it in the trash. I think that was supposed to sweep someone out the family too or they would go to jail or something.
And those are the ones I really remember. A few were thrown in from my girlfriend, but my family told me those too. Whatever you decide to do. I hope you enjoy your evening. Happy New Year.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
The Agenda
I don't make resolutions because I never stick with them. I starting making to-do lists or agendas if you will. They don't necessarily have a time frame, just stuff I really want to accomplish. With the new year less than 10 hours away, it's a good time for me to start dreaming.
This is the entrance to The Chocolate Spa at The Hotel Hershey. A weekend trip there would be nice. They have a chocolate massage that looks as if it is to die for. Hmmm. Relaxation to the fullest.
I also want to be more financially responsible. I can handle a budget, but it's the splurging because "I have to have it and I can afford it" bug that I have to get under control.
Writing has become central in my life. I want writing to be lucrative enough that it is the main job I have. I am already half way there--I am freelancing and I am an online writing tutor. So this is just getting easier and easier.
And last but not least, I see everything I want coming into fruition: home renovations, marriage equality, $$$$, more traveling, more appreciation, more gratitude, and so much happiness I wonder if I can take it all.
This is the entrance to The Chocolate Spa at The Hotel Hershey. A weekend trip there would be nice. They have a chocolate massage that looks as if it is to die for. Hmmm. Relaxation to the fullest.
I also want to be more financially responsible. I can handle a budget, but it's the splurging because "I have to have it and I can afford it" bug that I have to get under control.
Writing has become central in my life. I want writing to be lucrative enough that it is the main job I have. I am already half way there--I am freelancing and I am an online writing tutor. So this is just getting easier and easier.
And last but not least, I see everything I want coming into fruition: home renovations, marriage equality, $$$$, more traveling, more appreciation, more gratitude, and so much happiness I wonder if I can take it all.
Gratitude 2008
So much happened this year. In a nutshell, here is what I am most grateful for:
Love. Family & Friends. Regine, Sinclaire,& Max! Linda Villarosa telling me to start blogging. Blogging. Blogger Initiative Summitt. Mike Rogers. Serena Freewomyn. Rod 2.0. Curve. Cathy Renna. Joy. Arts & Crafts. Kept me sane throughout the year. Deux Dames. Faith. Employment. Ruth's Chris. Printworks Bistro. The Greensboro Symphony. Writing. Deux Dames. Eclectic By Nature. The Gay Marriage Thing. Citi Cards. Leaving Citi Cards. Smarthinking.com. Village Tavern. Wilmington, NC. Secret getaways. Open Door Ministries. Queercents. Hope. The Secret. The Oak. Laughing babies. AND DREAMS.
I would've never guessed that this year would have gone like it did. But I wouldn't change one bit of it. I appreciate every bump, ditch, valley, and mountain. 2009 here I come.
Love. Family & Friends. Regine, Sinclaire,& Max! Linda Villarosa telling me to start blogging. Blogging. Blogger Initiative Summitt. Mike Rogers. Serena Freewomyn. Rod 2.0. Curve. Cathy Renna. Joy. Arts & Crafts. Kept me sane throughout the year. Deux Dames. Faith. Employment. Ruth's Chris. Printworks Bistro. The Greensboro Symphony. Writing. Deux Dames. Eclectic By Nature. The Gay Marriage Thing. Citi Cards. Leaving Citi Cards. Smarthinking.com. Village Tavern. Wilmington, NC. Secret getaways. Open Door Ministries. Queercents. Hope. The Secret. The Oak. Laughing babies. AND DREAMS.
I would've never guessed that this year would have gone like it did. But I wouldn't change one bit of it. I appreciate every bump, ditch, valley, and mountain. 2009 here I come.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Respect My Relationship
My momma made me go to a funeral with her on Saturday. I totally didn't want to go. I can remember a time when all of the family members I had grown up with were all alive. I remember thinking, "I am so blessed I haven't experienced that loss yet." My great-grandmother passed away my first month in college. My aunt passed right after I graduated from college. My grandma's brother that Christmas and then my grandfather the next summer. 2 weeks after my grandfather, my grandma's other living brother passed away. It was hard. I didn't go to all of those funerals. I couldn't. My mind wouldn't let me. But going to a funeral of someone I didn't know was different.
I just sat there. I wanted to take out a pen and paper and write what I was observing, what I was feeling. But that didn't seem appropriate. I felt like I was spying. The lady behind me sniffled, "I lost my husband 2 years ago. Death is harder when you lose a husband." I looked at the wife. She looked surprisingly ok. I gave the lady behind me a hug--she wasn't okay. Would I be okay if something happened to my love? Would I be that strong? My granny was strong. I can't handle traveling out of town without her so I know I couldn't handle living without her. But if I lost my girlfriend, wouldn't that hurt just as much? Why is it that some married people feel that they have a monopoly on grief?
My mom had only met the deceased one time, but she was so impressed with him and how he treated her. They met while volunteering for McCain/Palin. I watched the DVD playing of him. He was driving his pickup down the middle of the street with ribbons tied to it and a McCain/Palin sign tied to the top. He looked happy. In every picture, he looked with glee. The lady behind me, "He always had a smile." I smiled.
People cried. My momma even cried. Amazingly, not one tear fell from my eyes. I am by nature very sensitive and a cry baby. It was a beautiful scene. Beautiful decorations. He was a logger. There were pine trees being given away at the door, they wanted them planted in his memory. They had a big truck like little kids get for christmas with logs riding up a greenway on his casket. Didn't take pictures, not appropriate. All of the flowers were made out of twigs...more like wreaths instead of flowers. Big red Christmas bows everywhere.
But taking all of this in, I couldn't help but think about Paula over at LezGetReal who lost her partner Debbie earlier this month. I thought about all of the lgbt folk who were in relationships and left there partners behind. And the lack of respect some people give lgbt relationships. Then I thought about my own demise. How would my family support my partner if something happened to me?
That's why this marriage thing is so important. It is almost a given that the relationship of a married couple will be respected. Every now and then you will see a crazy family member pop up and want to control things, but if the person was married they usually defer to the spouse. If the family doesn't respect it...the courts respect it. I just want my relationship respected as well.
I just sat there. I wanted to take out a pen and paper and write what I was observing, what I was feeling. But that didn't seem appropriate. I felt like I was spying. The lady behind me sniffled, "I lost my husband 2 years ago. Death is harder when you lose a husband." I looked at the wife. She looked surprisingly ok. I gave the lady behind me a hug--she wasn't okay. Would I be okay if something happened to my love? Would I be that strong? My granny was strong. I can't handle traveling out of town without her so I know I couldn't handle living without her. But if I lost my girlfriend, wouldn't that hurt just as much? Why is it that some married people feel that they have a monopoly on grief?
My mom had only met the deceased one time, but she was so impressed with him and how he treated her. They met while volunteering for McCain/Palin. I watched the DVD playing of him. He was driving his pickup down the middle of the street with ribbons tied to it and a McCain/Palin sign tied to the top. He looked happy. In every picture, he looked with glee. The lady behind me, "He always had a smile." I smiled.
People cried. My momma even cried. Amazingly, not one tear fell from my eyes. I am by nature very sensitive and a cry baby. It was a beautiful scene. Beautiful decorations. He was a logger. There were pine trees being given away at the door, they wanted them planted in his memory. They had a big truck like little kids get for christmas with logs riding up a greenway on his casket. Didn't take pictures, not appropriate. All of the flowers were made out of twigs...more like wreaths instead of flowers. Big red Christmas bows everywhere.
But taking all of this in, I couldn't help but think about Paula over at LezGetReal who lost her partner Debbie earlier this month. I thought about all of the lgbt folk who were in relationships and left there partners behind. And the lack of respect some people give lgbt relationships. Then I thought about my own demise. How would my family support my partner if something happened to me?
That's why this marriage thing is so important. It is almost a given that the relationship of a married couple will be respected. Every now and then you will see a crazy family member pop up and want to control things, but if the person was married they usually defer to the spouse. If the family doesn't respect it...the courts respect it. I just want my relationship respected as well.
Sandals in the winter.
It is totally inappropriate to wear sandals in the wintertime. Even in Florida.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Here's the thing....
I am tired of reading about Obama and Rick Warren. Everytime I go to a new news site, I say to myself..."I'm not gonna read it." And low and behold, I end up reading someone else's opinion of why Warren should not be a part of the inauguration.
And frankly my dear...here's my $5 input. I read a biography about Rick Warren a couple of years ago. I admired his tenacity. He got his church up off the ground like many other pastors. What concerns me is not what he says about gay people, but how we react to what he says about gay people. How can we want everyone to have a place at the table, but not want everyone to have a place at the table?
Many people have compared homosexuals to pedophilia, incest, and beastiality. Many people believe that deep down in their souls that we are going to hell. And you know what, they are entitled to their belief. No matter how stupid, ignorant, or uneducated they sound they are entitled to it.
Hell, my momma and I am sure many of your parents have thought or said similar things. But that doesn't keep you from loving them. And if given the opportunity to speak at the inauguration, we would be right there by there side.
And frankly my dear...here's my $5 input. I read a biography about Rick Warren a couple of years ago. I admired his tenacity. He got his church up off the ground like many other pastors. What concerns me is not what he says about gay people, but how we react to what he says about gay people. How can we want everyone to have a place at the table, but not want everyone to have a place at the table?
Many people have compared homosexuals to pedophilia, incest, and beastiality. Many people believe that deep down in their souls that we are going to hell. And you know what, they are entitled to their belief. No matter how stupid, ignorant, or uneducated they sound they are entitled to it.
Hell, my momma and I am sure many of your parents have thought or said similar things. But that doesn't keep you from loving them. And if given the opportunity to speak at the inauguration, we would be right there by there side.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
my addiction
The one thing I like most about the holidays is my granny's cooking. I am priming myself for that trip to Florida. But these are a few treats that I like all year round. I really am addicted.
Reese's...it's a shame how much I love these.
I'm a peanut butter freak, so they actually have one with peanut butter in the rice krispies, covered in chocolate. This is from Kilwins, a little ice cream shop in Wilmington, NC. ***This is a rice krispie treat on a stick***
Chocolate Fetish is my favorite chocolate spot. This little truffle actually has cayenne pepper sprinkled on top.
Dragons kiss is sold at Chocolate Fetish too. I think this one has wasabi in it, oh well...it was delicious anyway. They are in Asheville, NC...the lesbian mecca of the east coast. They call it the San Francisco of the south. Basically, it is very LGBT friendly!
Reese's...it's a shame how much I love these.
I'm a peanut butter freak, so they actually have one with peanut butter in the rice krispies, covered in chocolate. This is from Kilwins, a little ice cream shop in Wilmington, NC. ***This is a rice krispie treat on a stick***
Chocolate Fetish is my favorite chocolate spot. This little truffle actually has cayenne pepper sprinkled on top.
Dragons kiss is sold at Chocolate Fetish too. I think this one has wasabi in it, oh well...it was delicious anyway. They are in Asheville, NC...the lesbian mecca of the east coast. They call it the San Francisco of the south. Basically, it is very LGBT friendly!
modern day slavery
Totally inappropriate to work for $4 an hour! Servers deserve so much more, base pay has to go up, people just don't tip like they are supposed too. Totally inappropriate!
Saturday, December 20, 2008
No More Drama
Yeah, Mary J Blige. I love her. If you look at her career, it's been a ride. If she hadn't told us what she was going through, we probably wouldn't have ever known. I was thinking, wow she has truly grown up. I mean she says she had some toxic people around her and toxic behaviors abounded. She eliminitated the toxins from her life and look at her now. I mean she probably still has issues right? Everyone does.
But what is important is how she looks at her life now. She's happy for the little things and the big things.
So that's basically what I have been doing through the gratitude posts: eliminating toxins from my life. If you look at this blog in the beginning until now...I have grown. You may not be able to see that, but I have. Trying to figure out what to write about is one thing, but dealing with other people's emotions is quite another. So I had to let some people go and realize that it's not always about me!
When people say silly s&*t it is about them and their insecurities. People who have issues with gay marriage have an issue with their marriage or the lack thereof. When your parents nag you about your life or your friends criticize it's because they don't like what is going on with them. I was sitting here reading other people's blogs and realized that we are all going through the same sh*t...and for what? Like my family always had something to say about my hair. Why? Because there hair wasn't as long as mine, as thick as mine, and they wanted hair just like mine in it's relaxed state. But I am cool without a relaxer, so I will remain natural.
Our emotions can only be toyed with if we allow it. I am tired of playing games and feeding into other people's insecurities. Screw 'em. If somebody doesn't like what you do or say, Screw 'em. If they don't like who you are sleeping with this week, screw them too! If your life doesn't fit there little playbook...tell em ... that's right screw you...I really want to say the F word...but I am trying to eliminate it from my vocabulary.
2008 is coming to an end and it is high time to decide to live your life for you. Stop getting caught up in this everyday drama from the outside sources (news, other people, etc.). Have you made your "easy life" to-do list for 2009-2013, not a resolution...they never get done, but how about a 4 year plan?
But what is important is how she looks at her life now. She's happy for the little things and the big things.
So that's basically what I have been doing through the gratitude posts: eliminating toxins from my life. If you look at this blog in the beginning until now...I have grown. You may not be able to see that, but I have. Trying to figure out what to write about is one thing, but dealing with other people's emotions is quite another. So I had to let some people go and realize that it's not always about me!
When people say silly s&*t it is about them and their insecurities. People who have issues with gay marriage have an issue with their marriage or the lack thereof. When your parents nag you about your life or your friends criticize it's because they don't like what is going on with them. I was sitting here reading other people's blogs and realized that we are all going through the same sh*t...and for what? Like my family always had something to say about my hair. Why? Because there hair wasn't as long as mine, as thick as mine, and they wanted hair just like mine in it's relaxed state. But I am cool without a relaxer, so I will remain natural.
Our emotions can only be toyed with if we allow it. I am tired of playing games and feeding into other people's insecurities. Screw 'em. If somebody doesn't like what you do or say, Screw 'em. If they don't like who you are sleeping with this week, screw them too! If your life doesn't fit there little playbook...tell em ... that's right screw you...I really want to say the F word...but I am trying to eliminate it from my vocabulary.
2008 is coming to an end and it is high time to decide to live your life for you. Stop getting caught up in this everyday drama from the outside sources (news, other people, etc.). Have you made your "easy life" to-do list for 2009-2013, not a resolution...they never get done, but how about a 4 year plan?
Friday, December 19, 2008
If Money Is No Object
I have the perfect gift website for you all. Gifts.com, I mean it is a gem. I absolutely adore it! I mean really. You can browse by age, sex, interests and they even have a gifts personality quiz. You answer a few questions and voila, up pop at least 50 gift ideas. And they were good gifts too! I can actually say, everything that came up on my list (Classic Achiever), I absolutely adored. No more fashion jewelry hanging organizers from Dollar Tree for me. (Yes I actually got that one year.)
So here are my top 3 things from that website that I would absolutely love to have:
Stocks: A Share of Coach? It’s less than a $100, quick delivery, and it comes in a niiiice frame. No? I’ll take a share of Hershey or even Krispey Kreme. Start my investment portfolio off right!
Monogrammed umbrella: my initials are TNB, I like Edwardian Script font. I’m not sure if that is available, but something similar is acceptable. My umbrellas always break or get lost somewhere in umbrella land. I promise this one won’t get broken or lost. I will take really good care of it.
Wine Club of the Month: I am a beginner, but this is something I will really appreciate! A nice Riesling anyone?
A girl can dream can't she?!
Cross-posted at Tamara Nichelle 12/8/08
So here are my top 3 things from that website that I would absolutely love to have:
Stocks: A Share of Coach? It’s less than a $100, quick delivery, and it comes in a niiiice frame. No? I’ll take a share of Hershey or even Krispey Kreme. Start my investment portfolio off right!
Monogrammed umbrella: my initials are TNB, I like Edwardian Script font. I’m not sure if that is available, but something similar is acceptable. My umbrellas always break or get lost somewhere in umbrella land. I promise this one won’t get broken or lost. I will take really good care of it.
Wine Club of the Month: I am a beginner, but this is something I will really appreciate! A nice Riesling anyone?
A girl can dream can't she?!
Cross-posted at Tamara Nichelle 12/8/08
Holidays
This time I am not complaining about not spending Christmas with my love. She will be here and I will be in Florida with my immediate family. I haven't seen my family in over a year, so it is high time I get my arse home. I spoke with my granny the other day and told her I was coming, she was soooo thrilled. I then realized my momma hadn't told anyone so it might be a surprise. I swore granny to secrecy and didn't mention it to anyone else. The only problem is, I don't know how I am getting from the airport. LOL. I am sure we will have that figured out by then.
The only reason I am not as sad is we will spend Christmas Eve together (I will only be gone from then until Monday), plus we realized we aren't the only ones trying to make the decision of with whose family to spend the holidays. It's a classic issue for all couples, that I have seen played out many ways.
We are thinking of just going on vacation from now on. I like the idea of spending the holidays somewhere new, fun, and with little to no stress. For New Years Eve, we have sort of a tradition, we either go to Night Watch services or we watch movies and order pizza. Either way we have a good time. One year we went to New York City and attended a show at Lipz. It was great cabaret performances from all and a drink made by Frankie that sat me on my a**. That was my first trip to the city and I can't wait to get back. We haven't even decided about New Years yet.
The only reason I am not as sad is we will spend Christmas Eve together (I will only be gone from then until Monday), plus we realized we aren't the only ones trying to make the decision of with whose family to spend the holidays. It's a classic issue for all couples, that I have seen played out many ways.
We are thinking of just going on vacation from now on. I like the idea of spending the holidays somewhere new, fun, and with little to no stress. For New Years Eve, we have sort of a tradition, we either go to Night Watch services or we watch movies and order pizza. Either way we have a good time. One year we went to New York City and attended a show at Lipz. It was great cabaret performances from all and a drink made by Frankie that sat me on my a**. That was my first trip to the city and I can't wait to get back. We haven't even decided about New Years yet.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
LGBT Blogger Conference Day 3
The last day of the conference was really good. I didn't get to stay for the whole thing because my flight left early. I got to speak with Cathy Renna of Renna Communications (really really nice and great information). I kind of bounced from session to session trying to get a feel for everything before I left. This day was really about how to brand your blog, brand yourself, being appropriate for the media and making money from your blog. That's right making money from your blog. That was the session I missed altogether. But there is a book: BlogWild! A Guide for Small Business Blogging by Andy Wibbels.
Here are the other bloggers that were at the conference. I have most of them on my blogroll, but there are a few that I missed.
•BlogActive - Michael Rogers - http://www.pageoneq.com/ , http://www.blogactive.com/
•Boi From Troy - Scott Schmidt - http://www.boifromtroy.com
•Blabbeando - Andrés Duque - http://blabbeando.blogspot.com
•Burnt Orange Report - Karl-Thomas Muselman - http://www.burntorangereport.com
•Calitics - Brian Leubitz - http://calitics.com
•Dykes + Fags: Music by queers for queers - http://ninjatronics.blogspot.com
•(en)gender - Helen Boyd - http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/
•Existential Punk - Musings, Thoughts, Rants of Existential Punk - Adele Sakler - http://www.existentialpunk.com/
•GayAgenda - James Hipps - http://www.GayAgenda.com
•Gay Persons of Color - James Viloria - http://gay-persons-of-color.blogspot.com/
•Get Busy. Get Equal. - Sam Ritchie (ACLU LGBT Project) -http://gbge.aclu.org/content/blogsection/1/76/
•GoodAsYou - Jeremy Hooper - http://www.goodasyou.org
•Greta Christina's Blog - Greta Christina - http://gretachristina.typepad.com/
•hunter of justice - Nan Hunter - http://hunterforjustice.typepad.com/hunter_of_justice/
•InterstateQ.com - Matt Comer - http://www.interstateq.com/
•JoeMyGod - Joe Jervis - http://www.JoeMyGod.com/
•KnuckleCrack - Eric Leven - http://www.knucklecrack.blogspot.com
•Michael-in-Norfolk-Coming Out in Mid-Life - Michael Hamar - http://michael-in-norfolk.blogspot.com/
•Mombian - Dana Rudolph - http://www.mombian.com/
•Nathan Strang - Buffawhat - http://buffawhat.com
•Pam's House Blend - Pam Spaulding - http://www.pamshouseblend.com
•Pittsburgh Lesbian Correspondents - Sue Kerr - http://www.pghlesbian.com
•Project Q Atlanta - Matt Hennie - http://www.projectqatlanta.com/
•Rod 2.0 - Rod McCullom - http://www.rod20.com
•The Bilerico Project - http://www.bilerico.com
•The Mad Professah Lectures - Ron Buckmire - http://buckmire.blogspot.com/
•The New Gay - Michael Eichler - http://www.thenewgay.net
•The New Gay - Zack Rosen - http://www.thenewgay.net
•UK Gay News - Andy Harley - http://www.ukgaynews.org.uk
•Working Films - Lynn Casper - http://workingfilms.org
Check em out!
Here are the other bloggers that were at the conference. I have most of them on my blogroll, but there are a few that I missed.
•BlogActive - Michael Rogers - http://www.pageoneq.com/ , http://www.blogactive.com/
•Boi From Troy - Scott Schmidt - http://www.boifromtroy.com
•Blabbeando - Andrés Duque - http://blabbeando.blogspot.com
•Burnt Orange Report - Karl-Thomas Muselman - http://www.burntorangereport.com
•Calitics - Brian Leubitz - http://calitics.com
•Dykes + Fags: Music by queers for queers - http://ninjatronics.blogspot.com
•(en)gender - Helen Boyd - http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/
•Existential Punk - Musings, Thoughts, Rants of Existential Punk - Adele Sakler - http://www.existentialpunk.com/
•GayAgenda - James Hipps - http://www.GayAgenda.com
•Gay Persons of Color - James Viloria - http://gay-persons-of-color.blogspot.com/
•Get Busy. Get Equal. - Sam Ritchie (ACLU LGBT Project) -http://gbge.aclu.org/content/blogsection/1/76/
•GoodAsYou - Jeremy Hooper - http://www.goodasyou.org
•Greta Christina's Blog - Greta Christina - http://gretachristina.typepad.com/
•hunter of justice - Nan Hunter - http://hunterforjustice.typepad.com/hunter_of_justice/
•InterstateQ.com - Matt Comer - http://www.interstateq.com/
•JoeMyGod - Joe Jervis - http://www.JoeMyGod.com/
•KnuckleCrack - Eric Leven - http://www.knucklecrack.blogspot.com
•Michael-in-Norfolk-Coming Out in Mid-Life - Michael Hamar - http://michael-in-norfolk.blogspot.com/
•Mombian - Dana Rudolph - http://www.mombian.com/
•Nathan Strang - Buffawhat - http://buffawhat.com
•Pam's House Blend - Pam Spaulding - http://www.pamshouseblend.com
•Pittsburgh Lesbian Correspondents - Sue Kerr - http://www.pghlesbian.com
•Project Q Atlanta - Matt Hennie - http://www.projectqatlanta.com/
•Rod 2.0 - Rod McCullom - http://www.rod20.com
•The Bilerico Project - http://www.bilerico.com
•The Mad Professah Lectures - Ron Buckmire - http://buckmire.blogspot.com/
•The New Gay - Michael Eichler - http://www.thenewgay.net
•The New Gay - Zack Rosen - http://www.thenewgay.net
•UK Gay News - Andy Harley - http://www.ukgaynews.org.uk
•Working Films - Lynn Casper - http://workingfilms.org
Check em out!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Wow
These past few weeks have gone by so fast. I didn't even realize that I actually hadn't posted since Friday. All the commenting got the best of me.
I've been working on a few things:
My bio. Did you know that it is hard to talk about yourself? I never know what to include.
Helping friends. You know helping people is the best way to make yourself feel better. Cuz you reap what you so. And I found out that the Salvation Army isn't necessarily nice to the LGBT folk. So it is up to us to take care of our own.
Thanking God. I haven't written half of the stuff that is going on with me on this blog. But the tide is turning and everything is so much better. I am going home to visit my family for the holidays. I can't wait. I haven't seen them in over a year. And my round trip ticket was less than $100. (Allegiant Airlines)
Enjoying Life. That's the best. I appreciate you all for reading and commenting. Blogging sprinkles joy in my life. Thanks. Also, I love the Christmas lights and decorations during this time of year.
I've been working on a few things:
My bio. Did you know that it is hard to talk about yourself? I never know what to include.
Helping friends. You know helping people is the best way to make yourself feel better. Cuz you reap what you so. And I found out that the Salvation Army isn't necessarily nice to the LGBT folk. So it is up to us to take care of our own.
Thanking God. I haven't written half of the stuff that is going on with me on this blog. But the tide is turning and everything is so much better. I am going home to visit my family for the holidays. I can't wait. I haven't seen them in over a year. And my round trip ticket was less than $100. (Allegiant Airlines)
Enjoying Life. That's the best. I appreciate you all for reading and commenting. Blogging sprinkles joy in my life. Thanks. Also, I love the Christmas lights and decorations during this time of year.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Gratefulness is flowing from my heart...
There are times in life when you look around and no one is there. When you think that it couldn't possibly get any worse than this. I've been to that time and each day got worse than the last. I didn't know why, what, or how my life could have been turned so upside down in such a short period of time.
I began to seriously pray. I mean praying without ceasing. It didn't get any better. I was really surprised too. I thought prayer changes things. But prayer without faith is in vain. It didn't matter how hard I was praying if I didn't believe that my dreams would be fulfilled. Staying in the closet showed how little faith I actually had in God. I didn't believe that it was really okay to be gay and christian. For so many years, I refused to go to church. I mean really was like what the f* ever.
I was not fully embracing my whole self. I didn't know how to be okay with my love for my girlfriend and okay with my love for God. But now I know, it really isn't that hard. I go through my days thanking God for the opportunity to know genuine love for another human being. I look at her -- stare at her really-- and know that each good day wipes out 10 bad days.
Each time a parent decides to ask one of us to get married to a man makes me appreciate her love that much more. Because let's be real here...parents can be very influential and no one really wants to know life without a loved one. But her love for me and my love for her is so intense, that we are willing to deal with the drama that parents bring. Knowing that we have a greater parent that continues to bless us each and every second of the day makes it that much easier.
I began to seriously pray. I mean praying without ceasing. It didn't get any better. I was really surprised too. I thought prayer changes things. But prayer without faith is in vain. It didn't matter how hard I was praying if I didn't believe that my dreams would be fulfilled. Staying in the closet showed how little faith I actually had in God. I didn't believe that it was really okay to be gay and christian. For so many years, I refused to go to church. I mean really was like what the f* ever.
I was not fully embracing my whole self. I didn't know how to be okay with my love for my girlfriend and okay with my love for God. But now I know, it really isn't that hard. I go through my days thanking God for the opportunity to know genuine love for another human being. I look at her -- stare at her really-- and know that each good day wipes out 10 bad days.
Each time a parent decides to ask one of us to get married to a man makes me appreciate her love that much more. Because let's be real here...parents can be very influential and no one really wants to know life without a loved one. But her love for me and my love for her is so intense, that we are willing to deal with the drama that parents bring. Knowing that we have a greater parent that continues to bless us each and every second of the day makes it that much easier.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
I love my momma...
All of us want good relationships. I have mentioned on here that I started focusing on what I like about my relationship with my mom. I think this is important so that the good outshines the things we dislike. Think about a person in your life who may get on your nerves and focus on the positive things they possess. It's just my belief that if you look for the good in people, you will find it.
So here are a few things that I absolutely adore about my mother:
She is a go-getter. Anytime she thinks that she wants to do something, she does it. she doesn't wait for permission, or make excuses why it can't happen. She is fearless in that way.
She is creative. She has sewn clothes, barrettes, blankets, curtains, re upholstered furniture, paints, writes poetry, books, and a whole bunch of other stuff.
She is not shy. My momma will dance anywhere. She will talk to anybody. She is usually the life of the party. I'm not quite there yet--when you get to know me, yes...but I am still the shy one.
So here are a few things that I absolutely adore about my mother:
She is a go-getter. Anytime she thinks that she wants to do something, she does it. she doesn't wait for permission, or make excuses why it can't happen. She is fearless in that way.
She is creative. She has sewn clothes, barrettes, blankets, curtains, re upholstered furniture, paints, writes poetry, books, and a whole bunch of other stuff.
She is not shy. My momma will dance anywhere. She will talk to anybody. She is usually the life of the party. I'm not quite there yet--when you get to know me, yes...but I am still the shy one.
well, well, well
I have had a great week friends. I had the best experience ever at the bank nonetheless. The teller asked me to come back so I could sign the article i wrote in Curve. Can you believe that? I was like, sure...no problem! I beamed the rest of the way out of the bank.
It's raining cats and dogs here, since I haven't looked at the news, I have absolutely no reason why we keep getting these flash flood warnings.
My little cousin is borrowing my computer for school but now I can't get in touch with him. so I am at the library and can you believe they only give you the option of 15 minutes. Gotta go...mine is up!
It's raining cats and dogs here, since I haven't looked at the news, I have absolutely no reason why we keep getting these flash flood warnings.
My little cousin is borrowing my computer for school but now I can't get in touch with him. so I am at the library and can you believe they only give you the option of 15 minutes. Gotta go...mine is up!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Christmas Gifts
I know my girlfriend reads this blog, but hey, I surprise her all the time right in her face LOL. So what I am looking for are free Christmas Gift suggestions. I usually do something real elaborate for the holidays, but not this year. So do any of you have any suggestions? I am not really looking for an item, but I am looking at doing something.
Friends don't let friends attack innocent people...
I was talking to one of my best friends who recently returned from a year long teaching gig in South Korea. She had a really great time and we were discussing how common it was for girls to walk arm in arm with girls and guys to walk arm in arm with guys and they weren't gay. It was just something they did, it was apart of their culture and very normal.
She now works with students here in the states and when they come over they are met with culture shock so to speak, that people look at them weird for doing this. She said it isn't uncommon for her students to ask her why Americans act like that. It's weird how even though they didn't grow up here, they know that it is unacceptable behavior to simply hold hands or walk arm in arm with someone of the same gender.
This is what occurred to me when I read an article about two Ecuadoran brothers who were attacked in an apparent hate crime. On their way home from a church party, they stopped off at a local bar and then went on their way. But they couldn't even make it home without being accosted.
In general, I am not a violent person. You know that whole "Thou shall not kill" thing I take pretty seriously. But with groups talking about their not being a need for hate crime legislation, it really infuriates me. This is unacceptable. A man lost his life. How much longer can people go along with this anti-gay movement?
She now works with students here in the states and when they come over they are met with culture shock so to speak, that people look at them weird for doing this. She said it isn't uncommon for her students to ask her why Americans act like that. It's weird how even though they didn't grow up here, they know that it is unacceptable behavior to simply hold hands or walk arm in arm with someone of the same gender.
This is what occurred to me when I read an article about two Ecuadoran brothers who were attacked in an apparent hate crime. On their way home from a church party, they stopped off at a local bar and then went on their way. But they couldn't even make it home without being accosted.
Three men came out of the car shouting at the brothers, Jose and Romel Sucuzhanay — something ugly, anti-gay and anti-Latino. Vulgarisms against Hispanics and gay men were heard by witnesses, the police said. One man approached Jose Sucuzhanay, 31, the owner of a real estate agency who has been in New York a decade, and broke a beer bottle over the back of his head. He went down hard.
Romel Sucuzhanay, 38, who is visiting from Ecuador on a two-month visa, bounded over a parked car and ran as the man with the broken bottle came at him. A distance away, he looked back and saw a second assailant beating his prone brother with an aluminum baseball bat, striking him repeatedly on the head and body. The man with the broken bottle turned back and joined the beating and kicking.
In general, I am not a violent person. You know that whole "Thou shall not kill" thing I take pretty seriously. But with groups talking about their not being a need for hate crime legislation, it really infuriates me. This is unacceptable. A man lost his life. How much longer can people go along with this anti-gay movement?
An attack on love...
Some people find it hard to believe that I am and have no problem with religion/sexuality and that I actually call myself a christian.
Here's the thing: If I believe that 1. I am a child of God, 2. He knew me before I knew myself, and 3. That God created me in his image then I must believe that 1. I am loved, 2. This is no surprise to him, and 3. I am not the abomination that others try to make me out to be.
I believe that it is our responsibility to practice loving. God loved us so much that he gave his son's life for us. (This is what I believe, whatever your religion I am sure there is a similar ideology). In return, we should continue to pay that love forward. Love.
An attack on gay marriage is an attack on love. Shouldn't we want love in our society? Wouldn't love make our society better? Relationships stronger? Whether it is big love or small love, shouldn't we be encouraging healthy loving relationships in all of its forms--especially between consenting adults?
Wouldn't that make for a stronger America?
Maybe we should eliminate marriages all together. It isn't creating the desired results. It doesn't keep a relationship or family unit together. What it does is give people who get married, special rights (tax breaks, visitation rights, etc). Marriage doesn't create a family....it manages families.
As a matter of fact, marriage is not even talked about in the bible as a necessity. Let me hush, I do not think you all are ready for that conversation yet.
New campaign: No on Marriage, Yes on Love?
Yeah, I said it, now what?
Here's the thing: If I believe that 1. I am a child of God, 2. He knew me before I knew myself, and 3. That God created me in his image then I must believe that 1. I am loved, 2. This is no surprise to him, and 3. I am not the abomination that others try to make me out to be.
I believe that it is our responsibility to practice loving. God loved us so much that he gave his son's life for us. (This is what I believe, whatever your religion I am sure there is a similar ideology). In return, we should continue to pay that love forward. Love.
An attack on gay marriage is an attack on love. Shouldn't we want love in our society? Wouldn't love make our society better? Relationships stronger? Whether it is big love or small love, shouldn't we be encouraging healthy loving relationships in all of its forms--especially between consenting adults?
Wouldn't that make for a stronger America?
Maybe we should eliminate marriages all together. It isn't creating the desired results. It doesn't keep a relationship or family unit together. What it does is give people who get married, special rights (tax breaks, visitation rights, etc). Marriage doesn't create a family....it manages families.
As a matter of fact, marriage is not even talked about in the bible as a necessity. Let me hush, I do not think you all are ready for that conversation yet.
New campaign: No on Marriage, Yes on Love?
Yeah, I said it, now what?
LGBT Blogger Conference Day 2
Day 2 of the blogger conference started out talking about blogger activism, how the Prop 8 and Amendment 2 (Florida) campaigns were managed online, and then I participated in a diversity on the web workshop and how to become a citizen journalist. This was great for me since I do want to make writing a career and I learned a lot about how people think, motivating factors, and really just how much religion and diversity dominate the discussion around homosexuality.
What I learned:
People want to be heard.
It is time to stop operating in fear.
Black folk don't have a monopoly on diversity.
There are many different viewpoints in the LGBT community.
Attacking religion is not a good defense when discussing LGBT issues.
Language is key in communication. (In school they called it word choice)
There is room at the table for different voices. It's time for us to sit down.
It is important to take responsibility for your own actions. Stop the blame game.
There are many ways to do something, some lead to more positive results than others.
It was a great day. I saw so many people needing and wanting to express their love, it's just built up inside ready to burst open on humanity.
What I learned:
People want to be heard.
It is time to stop operating in fear.
Black folk don't have a monopoly on diversity.
There are many different viewpoints in the LGBT community.
Attacking religion is not a good defense when discussing LGBT issues.
Language is key in communication. (In school they called it word choice)
There is room at the table for different voices. It's time for us to sit down.
It is important to take responsibility for your own actions. Stop the blame game.
There are many ways to do something, some lead to more positive results than others.
It was a great day. I saw so many people needing and wanting to express their love, it's just built up inside ready to burst open on humanity.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Straight and Narrow
I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired. It's like parents get together and have a secret meeting when they suspect their child of being gay. They have a script:
"I want grandchildren." (That's nice.)
"You've changed. You're just so different." (I have changed. I grew the hell up.) *LOL
"When are you going to give me some grandchildren?" (When are you going to give me $1 million?)
"You should get married." (You should have voted no on Prop 8 and maybe that would have occurred.)
"I want you to be happy. You don't seem happy." (I'm not because you are bugging the hell out of me.)
"You need a man." ( You need a man, so you can stay the hell out of my bedroom.)
"I just want what's best for you." ( I just want you to know that you don't get to decide what's best for me.)
I mean I just don't get it anymore. I am (and many of you are to) too old for this line of questioning. Alot of you are over the age of 18 and well on your own or making moves to get there, right? What happened to, "When you get out of my house, you can do anything you want to do with your life." When did parents decide that they wanted to continue to control their kids lives post high school and college? In the words of Major Payne, "Pop your ti-ttie out his mouth" and let people do them.
Growing up, we did not question our parents actions. No, we let them make decision upon decision without questioning them. Plus if we had, we might have gotten slapped. Now I know we can't slap our parents...well we could, but I wouldn't advise it, but there has to be a level of respect on both sides so that we can live our life the way we want to live it. Acceptance is one thing. Disrespect is another. How would you handle your parents constantly nagging you about these issues, when you have made it clear that it is 1) none of their damn business and 2) it ain't happening.
"I want grandchildren." (That's nice.)
"You've changed. You're just so different." (I have changed. I grew the hell up.) *LOL
"When are you going to give me some grandchildren?" (When are you going to give me $1 million?)
"You should get married." (You should have voted no on Prop 8 and maybe that would have occurred.)
"I want you to be happy. You don't seem happy." (I'm not because you are bugging the hell out of me.)
"You need a man." ( You need a man, so you can stay the hell out of my bedroom.)
"I just want what's best for you." ( I just want you to know that you don't get to decide what's best for me.)
I mean I just don't get it anymore. I am (and many of you are to) too old for this line of questioning. Alot of you are over the age of 18 and well on your own or making moves to get there, right? What happened to, "When you get out of my house, you can do anything you want to do with your life." When did parents decide that they wanted to continue to control their kids lives post high school and college? In the words of Major Payne, "Pop your ti-ttie out his mouth" and let people do them.
Growing up, we did not question our parents actions. No, we let them make decision upon decision without questioning them. Plus if we had, we might have gotten slapped. Now I know we can't slap our parents...well we could, but I wouldn't advise it, but there has to be a level of respect on both sides so that we can live our life the way we want to live it. Acceptance is one thing. Disrespect is another. How would you handle your parents constantly nagging you about these issues, when you have made it clear that it is 1) none of their damn business and 2) it ain't happening.
The Gay Marriage Thing Part II
Marriage, Prop 8, Gay Marriage. Even though I am writing about it, and it is one topic that is seriously overdone, it didn't keep me from looking at the movie of the same title. It took me awhile to get the funds together (yes, $2 was that hard for me to come by) but it was well worth it!
"THE GAY MARRIAGE THING tells the stories behind the signs. Stories lived by people on both sides of the marriage debate. I chose quite deliberately to speak with people who did not agree with my life, let alone my opinion. People ask me if this was difficult. My answer is always a resounding yes. But that’s the point. True discussion and communication is often difficult. It is easy to ignore your opposer’s humanity while they ignore yours. It is less work to scream and shout than to take the time to find the right words to speak in a civil manner. It is less frightening to cover your ears and avoid hearing another’s story." (source: Stephanie Higgins)
That statement literally sent chills up and down my arms. This truth is so profound and and a foundation for engaging one another in true communication.
Check out the trailer:
That statement literally sent chills up and down my arms. This truth is so profound and and a foundation for engaging one another in true communication.
Check out the trailer:
I think this is a good time to add, although my mom and I have very different views on my life, I still love her and she still loves me. I guess she just won't be helping me to pick out my wedding dress. Oh well....naw let me take that back. Everyone is a critic, so I am sure she will have something to say about that too.
Hi Honey, I'm home...
Friends, Family, Countrymen...
Even though my day was full of mad dashes, delayed luggage, and irritating people I am re-energized and renewed with purpose.
More now than ever I feel the need to talk about my experiences, give my opinion on anything, and help others wherever I can. I have a lot of posts that I need to get out, and in no particular order, I just have to write. When you have this much stuff going on in your head, how do you get it all out, without losing some of the particulars? I will try my best to be fair, honest, and direct. I didn't get to go to church this weekend, but I hope you check out Ladybug Smile. She put on a sermon over there for sure. Have a great week!
Even though my day was full of mad dashes, delayed luggage, and irritating people I am re-energized and renewed with purpose.
More now than ever I feel the need to talk about my experiences, give my opinion on anything, and help others wherever I can. I have a lot of posts that I need to get out, and in no particular order, I just have to write. When you have this much stuff going on in your head, how do you get it all out, without losing some of the particulars? I will try my best to be fair, honest, and direct. I didn't get to go to church this weekend, but I hope you check out Ladybug Smile. She put on a sermon over there for sure. Have a great week!
Saturday, December 6, 2008
I'm pissed....
So, I have been all positive, 'i love the hilton garden inn' 'it's my favorite hotel' and all that jazz. And it still is my favorite hotel but there internet service provider will not allow me to view webpages with the word lesbian on it...ABG that means i definitely couldn't read a blog with "orgasm" in the title.
i sent two messages to the "site kiosk team"...i am sure they will take a look at it.
This sucks. All of these great websites that I would love to take a look at, will have to be put off until monday when i get home: bilerico.com, projectqatlanta, check them out and let me know if you like them. this is crazy. i am surprised I can even get on my own blog.
i sent two messages to the "site kiosk team"...i am sure they will take a look at it.
This sucks. All of these great websites that I would love to take a look at, will have to be put off until monday when i get home: bilerico.com, projectqatlanta, check them out and let me know if you like them. this is crazy. i am surprised I can even get on my own blog.
LGBT Blogger Conference Day 1
I am in DC at the National LGBT Blogger & Citizen Journalist Initiative. It is an orgy of sorts. All of these LGBT people descending on the nations capital is a pure site...I have met a lot of great people and hopefully, we will keep in touch. I must preface this by saying, I didn't go in with any expectations. I just wanted to see what it was about, how I could become apart of something bigger, learn best practices etc.
What I Learned (so far):
As one of 3 black lesbians in the room; race is an issue. Someone here said, "You have to brand yourself. If you don't do the branding, other people will do the branding for you." I know this a very diverse audience and I just have to let you know, what you aren't saying about yourself, others are willing to make up and push it along.
The stereotypes that float throughout the country do not fall on deaf ears. At one of the sessions, a young woman brought up that she believed the black vote is what put prop 8 over and that the LGBT community needed to "educate" african-americans about the issues. I will just let that resonate with you. And know that comment did not go un-checked. It is time for us to get in the game....for real.
MILK
So last night I got to see the movie that is sweeping the nation. The acting was phenomenal. Sean Penn was to Harvey Milk as Denzel Washington was to Malcolm X. I will be honest and say, I didn't want to see the movie. I thought, let me go find out more about Harvey Milk. All I really knew was that he was gay, an activist, and a politician. I didn't know anything else about him. The movie was 2 hours long. For a better part of the movie, I was unaffected. I didn't see me or people like me, basically, I couldn't relate. Grant it, he was gay, but the similarities pretty much ended there. Even being an out lesbian, I have not had to endure all that Harvey Milk or the other men have to endure. Really, being gay, in my mind is a male thing--that's even how it was portrayed in the movie. You saw a few women and people of color, but it was not the regular.
I'm gay, but I'm not gay. Does this make sense? The discourse surrounding homosexuality, the gay lifestyle, and gay marriage is overwhelmingly male and white. The black discourse around homosexuality is male and "downlow". Am I missing something? Sometimes I have felt like I don't fit into the broader gay community. This is totally off topic from where the post was supposed to go, but I gotta go where the writing takes me. I think part of this comes from the stereotypes about the community, that make some of us say, "no, that's not me". Say what you will on the topic, I would love to hear your thoughts.
Anyway, Harvey Milk was the first and only lgbt elected official to be assassinated *knock on wood. Now this heartwrenching experience did resonate with me. Harvey Milk was resilient, tenacious, and for the people. Much like some other activists he knew he was doing what he had to do, and it was for the people, by any means necessary. I admire him for that. His work literally helped California be the mecca that it is today. I wanted to move there for the scenery, but when I found out about the protections LGBT people had in the workplace, it definitely made it more appealing.
But that is how I came out of yesterday's session feeling...I will post the rest tomorrow or later this week. ciao.
What I Learned (so far):
As one of 3 black lesbians in the room; race is an issue. Someone here said, "You have to brand yourself. If you don't do the branding, other people will do the branding for you." I know this a very diverse audience and I just have to let you know, what you aren't saying about yourself, others are willing to make up and push it along.
The stereotypes that float throughout the country do not fall on deaf ears. At one of the sessions, a young woman brought up that she believed the black vote is what put prop 8 over and that the LGBT community needed to "educate" african-americans about the issues. I will just let that resonate with you. And know that comment did not go un-checked. It is time for us to get in the game....for real.
MILK
So last night I got to see the movie that is sweeping the nation. The acting was phenomenal. Sean Penn was to Harvey Milk as Denzel Washington was to Malcolm X. I will be honest and say, I didn't want to see the movie. I thought, let me go find out more about Harvey Milk. All I really knew was that he was gay, an activist, and a politician. I didn't know anything else about him. The movie was 2 hours long. For a better part of the movie, I was unaffected. I didn't see me or people like me, basically, I couldn't relate. Grant it, he was gay, but the similarities pretty much ended there. Even being an out lesbian, I have not had to endure all that Harvey Milk or the other men have to endure. Really, being gay, in my mind is a male thing--that's even how it was portrayed in the movie. You saw a few women and people of color, but it was not the regular.
I'm gay, but I'm not gay. Does this make sense? The discourse surrounding homosexuality, the gay lifestyle, and gay marriage is overwhelmingly male and white. The black discourse around homosexuality is male and "downlow". Am I missing something? Sometimes I have felt like I don't fit into the broader gay community. This is totally off topic from where the post was supposed to go, but I gotta go where the writing takes me. I think part of this comes from the stereotypes about the community, that make some of us say, "no, that's not me". Say what you will on the topic, I would love to hear your thoughts.
Anyway, Harvey Milk was the first and only lgbt elected official to be assassinated *knock on wood. Now this heartwrenching experience did resonate with me. Harvey Milk was resilient, tenacious, and for the people. Much like some other activists he knew he was doing what he had to do, and it was for the people, by any means necessary. I admire him for that. His work literally helped California be the mecca that it is today. I wanted to move there for the scenery, but when I found out about the protections LGBT people had in the workplace, it definitely made it more appealing.
But that is how I came out of yesterday's session feeling...I will post the rest tomorrow or later this week. ciao.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Gratefulness Part II
I made my way through the airport and subway with ease.
My bags arrived right along with me.
I didn't cry....
I didn't, instead I smiled.
Thinking about "the kiss"
The one that said, " I know you are only going to be gone for a couple of days, but I will miss you and this is what you are coming home too."
I smiled.
The business center here at the hotel is the bomb. So I will be able to complete the work I need to get done this weekend...and best of all, blog in what free time I do have, which isn't much.
I am so freakin' grateful.
My bags arrived right along with me.
I didn't cry....
I didn't, instead I smiled.
Thinking about "the kiss"
The one that said, " I know you are only going to be gone for a couple of days, but I will miss you and this is what you are coming home too."
I smiled.
The business center here at the hotel is the bomb. So I will be able to complete the work I need to get done this weekend...and best of all, blog in what free time I do have, which isn't much.
I am so freakin' grateful.
Gratefulness
I am so grateful that:
I have the opportunity to work from home doing something that I'm competent doing.
I have the opportunity to learn more bout blogging and my role
in the blogosphere.
I am staying at my favorite hotel.
A digital camera just popped up. Thank you Lord.
The new website is going to be very beautiful.
I have love.
She comforts me and makes me sane.
I have the opportunity to work from home doing something that I'm competent doing.
I have the opportunity to learn more bout blogging and my role
in the blogosphere.
I am staying at my favorite hotel.
A digital camera just popped up. Thank you Lord.
The new website is going to be very beautiful.
I have love.
She comforts me and makes me sane.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Busy & Stressed
It has been a long time since I felt stressed about work. You know that stress when you have so much to do, deadlines to meet, and so little time to do it in. Today was the first time I had to deal with that type of stress in at least what 2 years...since that old job I told you all about. So to de-stress, I decided to not do anything today.
I took out my handy dandy calendar, made a priority list and straight relaxed. We watched a movie, played games on the computer, talked and spent time with each other. Because I won't be home this weekend, it is extremely important that we get that quality time in before I leave.
I had to remember that I can't be everything to everybody and I am not superwoman. I used to try to be...not anymore. I had to look realistically at my day and figure out what I could and am willing to accomplish. Spending time with the love of my life was one of them.
I took out my handy dandy calendar, made a priority list and straight relaxed. We watched a movie, played games on the computer, talked and spent time with each other. Because I won't be home this weekend, it is extremely important that we get that quality time in before I leave.
I had to remember that I can't be everything to everybody and I am not superwoman. I used to try to be...not anymore. I had to look realistically at my day and figure out what I could and am willing to accomplish. Spending time with the love of my life was one of them.
Cooking Adventures
Well we cooked dinner; fried fish and homemade onion rings. We've been cooking a lot lately. It was really good too, but let me tell you how it went down...
1st I was using beer batter without beer...instead I used old bay seasoning and water....it did the trick
We did the onion rings first, they turned out nice and crispy.
While she made the tartar sauce (which she added a dash of Worcester sauce to because we were running out of relish) I started cooking the fish.
Tell me why the fish sank right to the bottom of the pan and proceeded to stick. The first and last 2 pieces came out fine... The ones in the middle literally fell apart in the pan.
I couldn't do anything but laugh...and stare in disbelief. I have never seen fried fish fall apart in the pan. She said it was because the fish was too wet when I started cooking it....
Oh well, it was still good.
1st I was using beer batter without beer...instead I used old bay seasoning and water....it did the trick
We did the onion rings first, they turned out nice and crispy.
While she made the tartar sauce (which she added a dash of Worcester sauce to because we were running out of relish) I started cooking the fish.
Tell me why the fish sank right to the bottom of the pan and proceeded to stick. The first and last 2 pieces came out fine... The ones in the middle literally fell apart in the pan.
I couldn't do anything but laugh...and stare in disbelief. I have never seen fried fish fall apart in the pan. She said it was because the fish was too wet when I started cooking it....
Oh well, it was still good.
The Gay Marriage Thing, Part 1
On my way home the other night, I got to thinking about marriage again. I remember when I was younger, I didn't want to get married. I didn't see the benefit. My mother was not married to my father, I saw ok--but not great relationships...mostly arguing or the woman doing what the man told her to do. The feminist in me said, "what the F* ever". I vowed to not live my life looking or needing a man.
I was content in going to college to get a degree and create a career, not to find a husband like so many of my other counterparts.
I wanted to own 3 homes: one in Florida, one on an island (preferably Jamaica), and one in the mountains.
I imagined weekends with the girls; hanging out, clubbing, shopping or just relaxing around the house with a good book.
Never did getting married seem like a viable option for me...now shacking up, maybe, but it was against my religion. (LOL, how funny)
For me, married meant being tied to a man that I would come to resent, but stay married too so that I wouldn't go to hell. (cuz divorce is a sin)
I thought about all of this in that 20 minute ride and I wondered, is there something more than marriage? Is there a better word-- a stronger word -- one filled with pure joy, lust, love, romance, compromise? "Civil union" seems so generic and unloving. Domestic partnership, that's akin to roommates.
Our relationships are not generic or unloving, and we are definitely bedmates, not roommates. I've racked my head, and still can't come up with the right word...any ideas?
I was content in going to college to get a degree and create a career, not to find a husband like so many of my other counterparts.
I wanted to own 3 homes: one in Florida, one on an island (preferably Jamaica), and one in the mountains.
I imagined weekends with the girls; hanging out, clubbing, shopping or just relaxing around the house with a good book.
Never did getting married seem like a viable option for me...now shacking up, maybe, but it was against my religion. (LOL, how funny)
For me, married meant being tied to a man that I would come to resent, but stay married too so that I wouldn't go to hell. (cuz divorce is a sin)
I thought about all of this in that 20 minute ride and I wondered, is there something more than marriage? Is there a better word-- a stronger word -- one filled with pure joy, lust, love, romance, compromise? "Civil union" seems so generic and unloving. Domestic partnership, that's akin to roommates.
Our relationships are not generic or unloving, and we are definitely bedmates, not roommates. I've racked my head, and still can't come up with the right word...any ideas?
Monday, December 1, 2008
It's Been a Long Time Coming
I'm PUBLISHED! You heard me folks. My article has finally been published in Curve Magazine (December Issue, page 52). So everyone check it out, buy it-- or at least go read it for free at the bookstore. I don't get any proceeds from it, but I'd like the support. Send an email and tell them how much you like my writing :-)
Saturday, November 29, 2008
I'm so grateful...
that I have you all to talk too. I mean my life has changed so much in the last few days.
that Thanksgiving dinner was better than expected. I had some banging sweet potatoe pie...and I am still full. I don't really need to eat for the next few days. Seriously.
that unexpected miracles keep happening. I am just going with the flow of this prosperity and abundance. I am so so grateful...I will blog about these as they develop further.
that I have great friends, great family, and serve a great God.
that it has been warm for the last few days. No super duper cold for the holiday...Yeah!
that I have dreams...that no one can take from me, that I know I will accomplish.
that Thanksgiving dinner was better than expected. I had some banging sweet potatoe pie...and I am still full. I don't really need to eat for the next few days. Seriously.
that unexpected miracles keep happening. I am just going with the flow of this prosperity and abundance. I am so so grateful...I will blog about these as they develop further.
that I have great friends, great family, and serve a great God.
that it has been warm for the last few days. No super duper cold for the holiday...Yeah!
that I have dreams...that no one can take from me, that I know I will accomplish.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Sex? I'm a virgin...
That's my lie and I am sticking to it. LOL. Since I wrote the post referencing my graduate studies, I remembered I am an expert in something: Lesbian Health!
I mean I studied that thang. I participated in workshops, wrote numerous papers, created an online training for healthcare providers, and really became a "master of the craft" (that's what my girlfriend said). I totally forgot about that part of my studies...It did give me joy.
I got to learn about different types of std prevention, contraceptives, and all the lies straight girls tell about their sex life. One of my classmates and I even contemplated working with "community sex workers" for one of our projects. The health department had a unit that went out and did free HIV tests and another organization even worked with them to get them off drugs and such. It was amazing how many women who participated in this craft for a living actually identified as bi. It was their coping mechanism (that's what the psychologist in me said, but it may be they were actually bi).
I had the idea of starting a non-profit that would distribute safe sex paraphernalia for women. I wanted to do a social marketing campaign encouraging women to use dental dam, gloves, and even condoms (female and traditional). It is amazing how safe people think they are just because they are dealing with the same sex. The scary part was actually the number of women who said they were lesbians, but actually slept with men on a regular basis. We had to rephrase the research to say women who partner with women...because you just never know.
One of my students was famous for that line. "I'm a lesbian, I just happen to have a boyfriend". And she was serious. Maybe I will get back into that line of work one day. A lot of the funding for these types of research and programs have been cut. I actually interviewed with the Lesbian Health Center at the Whitman Walker Clinic last year. Unfortunately, it seems they have lost a lot of staff. So I guess it is kind of good I didn't get that job. Well I know it is...it didn't pay nearly enough to live in DC metro area.
Overall, I do think I want to go back into this field. For me, it was fun, interesting, and I got to meet a lot of people that I wouldn't normally have met. Plus, anytime you get to talk about sex and get paid for it, is a plus!
I mean I studied that thang. I participated in workshops, wrote numerous papers, created an online training for healthcare providers, and really became a "master of the craft" (that's what my girlfriend said). I totally forgot about that part of my studies...It did give me joy.
I got to learn about different types of std prevention, contraceptives, and all the lies straight girls tell about their sex life. One of my classmates and I even contemplated working with "community sex workers" for one of our projects. The health department had a unit that went out and did free HIV tests and another organization even worked with them to get them off drugs and such. It was amazing how many women who participated in this craft for a living actually identified as bi. It was their coping mechanism (that's what the psychologist in me said, but it may be they were actually bi).
I had the idea of starting a non-profit that would distribute safe sex paraphernalia for women. I wanted to do a social marketing campaign encouraging women to use dental dam, gloves, and even condoms (female and traditional). It is amazing how safe people think they are just because they are dealing with the same sex. The scary part was actually the number of women who said they were lesbians, but actually slept with men on a regular basis. We had to rephrase the research to say women who partner with women...because you just never know.
One of my students was famous for that line. "I'm a lesbian, I just happen to have a boyfriend". And she was serious. Maybe I will get back into that line of work one day. A lot of the funding for these types of research and programs have been cut. I actually interviewed with the Lesbian Health Center at the Whitman Walker Clinic last year. Unfortunately, it seems they have lost a lot of staff. So I guess it is kind of good I didn't get that job. Well I know it is...it didn't pay nearly enough to live in DC metro area.
Overall, I do think I want to go back into this field. For me, it was fun, interesting, and I got to meet a lot of people that I wouldn't normally have met. Plus, anytime you get to talk about sex and get paid for it, is a plus!
Monday, November 24, 2008
I gotta get this off my chest.....
I feel like I have dealt with this stuff already, but the fact that it is resurfacing tells me that I have not dealt with it as efficiently as first thought.
Today, on Tyra she talked to two women who decided it was best for them to find out how their families and friends thought about them and then they had a separate Truth Panel who essentially told it like it was without regards to feelings. The kicker was that the women were behind a two way mirror listening to everything.
One of the girls was really just depressed. I mean I could see that from jump. Tyra in her big sister way asks her when all of this started. She says when she lost her job (i can relate)...she was fired (I was too)...due to her performance ( mine was for? i could've been fired for being late to work everyday, but they said insubordination), from a job she absolutely loved ( i liked it a lot, i hated my supervisors). There is a lot here...so just bear with me a few.
At the same time I was in graduate school for a totally different field, working with lesbian health none the less. My mom came for graduation and like my life started to unravel from there. We got into a huge argument...I mean like atomic bomb huge. I stopped talking to her.
Work got worse after I got my degree, I guess I was too much now that I had a masters degree. Dare I ask for a raise (I didn't) or a different position (I didn't) or actually try to use my degree on the side (I didn't)-- but I could've. Maybe I did change. I don't know. I know I was trying to do my best but the higher ups were just so unsupportive. I asked for help (they used that against me). Shortly after that, I was fired.
Now this threw my world into a loop. I went from being financially secure to being....what...???? I wasn't talking to my momma. There was nothing I could do to get my job back. Everything I was told to do just made the situation worse and backfired. After it was all said and done I realized that my position was never secure. I was going to be eliminated one way or the other--regardless of my actions. That hurt. All of the energy, time, and money spent -- for what?
I collected unemployment for awhile...interviewed for a few positions most unsuccessfully. I started thinking about this looking at sister girl on Tyra. Her family was saying all of this awful stuff about her, but never to her face. And all of her actions stemmed from her being seriously depressed. They were more concerned about their feelings then about her actual health. Her depression was obvious. She drank a lot, she gained a lot of weight, her behavior was uncharacteristic of her.
My depression wasn't as visible. I kept a smile on my face, got dressed, was engaged with society. But sometimes my decisions didn't seem to be the best decisions...my plan didn't turn out so well. That made me think, my family is probably saying stuff about me as well, everyone always has something to say. Especially about where I should be applying for jobs. I had my life all mapped out before. I imagined retiring from that old job. I could see it, but apparently God has other plans. Every now and then someone will tell me to go work at Target or something like that...or come home. For goodness sakes, what makes people think I haven't applied at Target? I can't stand when people say that as if everyone gets hired in retail or fast food...they don't!
Since then I have worked in 2 unfulfilling jobs that I was damn near fired from...the 1st, I just wasn't given any more hours, the 2nd I wasn't good at manipulating people so I had to go(at least that's what my boss said damn near everyday.) I won't be making that mistake again. Talk about miserable. It's not fun. It doesn't feel good.
I have so much that I want out of life. I am rebounding, making stuff happen, am grateful for the little things, and moving forward. That's why you see some gratitude posts every now and then. I want to feel like that all of the time. I can go back and read them and I feel happy all over again. The law of attraction...I remember when whatever I wanted, I got...I spoke it into existence. I just had a negativity overload the past few years...and I am in detox mode right now. People don't understand that what they say to people effects them in unseen ways. You could say it in passing and it is stuck on them for a whole day or even a year. So practice positive speaking and positive thinking...to yourself and to others.
Now my goals in life are a little different and in the words of abg "telling all my business" has been my first step in therapy. I really need a counselor.
Today, on Tyra she talked to two women who decided it was best for them to find out how their families and friends thought about them and then they had a separate Truth Panel who essentially told it like it was without regards to feelings. The kicker was that the women were behind a two way mirror listening to everything.
One of the girls was really just depressed. I mean I could see that from jump. Tyra in her big sister way asks her when all of this started. She says when she lost her job (i can relate)...she was fired (I was too)...due to her performance ( mine was for? i could've been fired for being late to work everyday, but they said insubordination), from a job she absolutely loved ( i liked it a lot, i hated my supervisors). There is a lot here...so just bear with me a few.
At the same time I was in graduate school for a totally different field, working with lesbian health none the less. My mom came for graduation and like my life started to unravel from there. We got into a huge argument...I mean like atomic bomb huge. I stopped talking to her.
Work got worse after I got my degree, I guess I was too much now that I had a masters degree. Dare I ask for a raise (I didn't) or a different position (I didn't) or actually try to use my degree on the side (I didn't)-- but I could've. Maybe I did change. I don't know. I know I was trying to do my best but the higher ups were just so unsupportive. I asked for help (they used that against me). Shortly after that, I was fired.
Now this threw my world into a loop. I went from being financially secure to being....what...???? I wasn't talking to my momma. There was nothing I could do to get my job back. Everything I was told to do just made the situation worse and backfired. After it was all said and done I realized that my position was never secure. I was going to be eliminated one way or the other--regardless of my actions. That hurt. All of the energy, time, and money spent -- for what?
I collected unemployment for awhile...interviewed for a few positions most unsuccessfully. I started thinking about this looking at sister girl on Tyra. Her family was saying all of this awful stuff about her, but never to her face. And all of her actions stemmed from her being seriously depressed. They were more concerned about their feelings then about her actual health. Her depression was obvious. She drank a lot, she gained a lot of weight, her behavior was uncharacteristic of her.
My depression wasn't as visible. I kept a smile on my face, got dressed, was engaged with society. But sometimes my decisions didn't seem to be the best decisions...my plan didn't turn out so well. That made me think, my family is probably saying stuff about me as well, everyone always has something to say. Especially about where I should be applying for jobs. I had my life all mapped out before. I imagined retiring from that old job. I could see it, but apparently God has other plans. Every now and then someone will tell me to go work at Target or something like that...or come home. For goodness sakes, what makes people think I haven't applied at Target? I can't stand when people say that as if everyone gets hired in retail or fast food...they don't!
Since then I have worked in 2 unfulfilling jobs that I was damn near fired from...the 1st, I just wasn't given any more hours, the 2nd I wasn't good at manipulating people so I had to go(at least that's what my boss said damn near everyday.) I won't be making that mistake again. Talk about miserable. It's not fun. It doesn't feel good.
I have so much that I want out of life. I am rebounding, making stuff happen, am grateful for the little things, and moving forward. That's why you see some gratitude posts every now and then. I want to feel like that all of the time. I can go back and read them and I feel happy all over again. The law of attraction...I remember when whatever I wanted, I got...I spoke it into existence. I just had a negativity overload the past few years...and I am in detox mode right now. People don't understand that what they say to people effects them in unseen ways. You could say it in passing and it is stuck on them for a whole day or even a year. So practice positive speaking and positive thinking...to yourself and to others.
Now my goals in life are a little different and in the words of abg "telling all my business" has been my first step in therapy. I really need a counselor.
Thanksgiving Plans...
I like holidays but at the same time, I hate them. I always feel guilty for not going home to Florida to my immediate family. But when I do go home, I feel guilty for not staying at my house...with my family (girlfriend,cousin etc.).
Last year, I couldn't go home due to having to work. My aunt came here and it was really cool. I guess I am just a little homesick right now. Missing the family: granny's sweet potatoe pie, macaroni and cheese, and all of that.
Last year, I couldn't go home due to having to work. My aunt came here and it was really cool. I guess I am just a little homesick right now. Missing the family: granny's sweet potatoe pie, macaroni and cheese, and all of that.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
I'm so grateful...
I went to church today and it was so good. It is a traditional church, but the pastor their is so real and annointed. I did run into one person who had something to say about homosexuals, but heck my momma has too. But what comes from the mouth of the pastor is another story. I believe God sent me there because what he says, fills my spirit every single time.
Someone asked if I was advocating going to an affirming church, (Tami? was that you). I have been to an affirming church and it was affirming and very different. It was the first time that I actually felt comfortble with my sexuality, but at the same time I felt uncomfortable. We (friends) have had heated discussions why affirming churches are valid and needed versus traditional churches. But it is actually something in itself to get used too.
I think the best thing any one can do is just pray for guidance. Each experience is unique. So church, no church, affirming church totally up to you. I pray you receive what you seek. Have a blessed week.
Someone asked if I was advocating going to an affirming church, (Tami? was that you). I have been to an affirming church and it was affirming and very different. It was the first time that I actually felt comfortble with my sexuality, but at the same time I felt uncomfortable. We (friends) have had heated discussions why affirming churches are valid and needed versus traditional churches. But it is actually something in itself to get used too.
I think the best thing any one can do is just pray for guidance. Each experience is unique. So church, no church, affirming church totally up to you. I pray you receive what you seek. Have a blessed week.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
I'm Chillaxin....
I'm so glad that:
Gas prices are down. I can put $10 in and it's more than a quarter of a tank.
I made some money this weekend.
I met some great people.
My mom and I are really getting along. I mean, even talking about politics has been a breeze...just not sexuality...I'll take my wins in small doses.
My wireless internet is working from home...and I am not sitting in Panera.
It snowed...it was only a little bit, but the dusting we got was so cute.
I am so glad that all of my dreams are coming true.
I even had a pizza last night...reminded me of college, $5 domino pizzas from the guy walking through the dorm...ahh memories. Plus it was delicious.
I have stumbled upon some great blogs...and ya'll keep me cracking up laughing.
My neighbor's baby is sooo cute. She was laughing for no damn reason. Adorable.
I sold the cutest purse this weekend....that really made me feel good.
I had a lot of insight about my neighbors...I didn't like them at first...but now...they are okay.
I have love, joy, prosperity, gratitude, and God. This is a great life!
Gas prices are down. I can put $10 in and it's more than a quarter of a tank.
I made some money this weekend.
I met some great people.
My mom and I are really getting along. I mean, even talking about politics has been a breeze...just not sexuality...I'll take my wins in small doses.
My wireless internet is working from home...and I am not sitting in Panera.
It snowed...it was only a little bit, but the dusting we got was so cute.
I am so glad that all of my dreams are coming true.
I even had a pizza last night...reminded me of college, $5 domino pizzas from the guy walking through the dorm...ahh memories. Plus it was delicious.
I have stumbled upon some great blogs...and ya'll keep me cracking up laughing.
My neighbor's baby is sooo cute. She was laughing for no damn reason. Adorable.
I sold the cutest purse this weekend....that really made me feel good.
I had a lot of insight about my neighbors...I didn't like them at first...but now...they are okay.
I have love, joy, prosperity, gratitude, and God. This is a great life!
$10,000 a day....
Why do people hate on people with money? I see a lot of hating especially with The Real Housewives of Atlanta cast, these corporate moguls, and others. The media went out of control about the automaker ceo's riding in a private jet to DC.
I am being completely honest when I say, when I become a millionaire, I will be traveling on a private jet. I will not look down on someone who can't fly on a private jet, and I won't feel guilty for flying on a private jet. I look at Kimmora, Oprah, Bill (Gates) and I see a life that I want (somewhat...some of the stuff that they go through is extreme) but the ease of knowing that what you want, you can have because money is no object is freeing.
A friend sent me this game called The Prosperity Game. Essentially, they give you money and you are to do whatever you want with it. So the first day is $100. If someone gave you a $100 a day for the next 30 days what would you do with it? I would go out to dinner with the first $100 dollars. Put me in the right frame of mind of enjoying this money. There is nothing worse then getting money and not enjoying it. Like if you got the $100 and you felt bad because you had to pay a bill. It's not the paying the bill that makes it bad...but the feeling...so I am doing something I want to do first, then I will do what I have to do. Does that make since?
I saw somewhere else where people have set up different amounts. I am going with $10,000. So if you were given $10,000 a day for 30 days what would you do with the money?
I am being completely honest when I say, when I become a millionaire, I will be traveling on a private jet. I will not look down on someone who can't fly on a private jet, and I won't feel guilty for flying on a private jet. I look at Kimmora, Oprah, Bill (Gates) and I see a life that I want (somewhat...some of the stuff that they go through is extreme) but the ease of knowing that what you want, you can have because money is no object is freeing.
A friend sent me this game called The Prosperity Game. Essentially, they give you money and you are to do whatever you want with it. So the first day is $100. If someone gave you a $100 a day for the next 30 days what would you do with it? I would go out to dinner with the first $100 dollars. Put me in the right frame of mind of enjoying this money. There is nothing worse then getting money and not enjoying it. Like if you got the $100 and you felt bad because you had to pay a bill. It's not the paying the bill that makes it bad...but the feeling...so I am doing something I want to do first, then I will do what I have to do. Does that make since?
I saw somewhere else where people have set up different amounts. I am going with $10,000. So if you were given $10,000 a day for 30 days what would you do with the money?
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Blogger or Word Press
So I am reading blogs, and I notice...my blog is okay...but some people's blogs are downright cute. I want a cute blog. Blogger doesn't have that many choices. I was looking at WordPress and considering switching. Does anyone have any advice? Should I stick with blogger since I am already established hear or does asthetics take precedence?
A dream deferred...
So, yesterday was our anniversary. I was so surprised that my girlfriend...made dinner. I know, it sounds like...what? Dinner, that's all? But here me out.
First of all, she wanted to go to culinary school. She actually got accepted and they played with her financial aid...$40. Yes, $40 was all they gave her. So she took a step back but in the process she stopped cooking all together. And she can throw down. Now she only cooks like on holidays and even that is a rarity considering we go to other people's houses or someone else cooks at our house. I know. Sad. You probably wonder how we eat, if neither one of us cook...by the grace of God. LOL.
But last night, my baby threw it down, in more ways than one. ;-) She made pork steak, collard greens, and potatoes with onions. It was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo delicious. I made sure that I saved some, because I wanted that meal to last. Actually it was a lot of food for only the two of us. Then she surprised me with my favorite candy: butterfinger and reese's peanut butter cups. I enjoyed my evening. Then we cuddled. It was sweet.
First of all, she wanted to go to culinary school. She actually got accepted and they played with her financial aid...$40. Yes, $40 was all they gave her. So she took a step back but in the process she stopped cooking all together. And she can throw down. Now she only cooks like on holidays and even that is a rarity considering we go to other people's houses or someone else cooks at our house. I know. Sad. You probably wonder how we eat, if neither one of us cook...by the grace of God. LOL.
But last night, my baby threw it down, in more ways than one. ;-) She made pork steak, collard greens, and potatoes with onions. It was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo delicious. I made sure that I saved some, because I wanted that meal to last. Actually it was a lot of food for only the two of us. Then she surprised me with my favorite candy: butterfinger and reese's peanut butter cups. I enjoyed my evening. Then we cuddled. It was sweet.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Do you know what today is?
It's our anniversary. 9 years of love, adoration, joy,and togetherness. I love you pooh.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
WZUP
Ya'll I was exhausted this weekend. Can you say, get in the house and immediately take a nap. That was me. Turns out, my coming out problem was not a problem at all. The people we were concerned about did not even show up. It's unfortunate though...that's been added to my vocabulary this weekend since it was so damn depressing in some aspects. But I don't even want to relive that agony....so moving on...
I am still pondering writing a book. I have started a few. But I never get past like chapter 1. Sad, I know. They aren't heavy reads, humorous really. I will probably finish at least one, while on vacation.
During the holidays I like to go to this event titled Holiday Parade of Homes. These homes are newly constructed and absolutely gorgeous. They have them decorated and stuff for the holiday season. They have snacks and food throughout. Believe me when you are walking through a 3 level 6 bedroom, 4.5 bath home with 2 kitchens, and 4 fireplaces... at least a cup of water is warranted.LOL.The event serves as a fundraiser for the local Habitat for Humanity. If you have the ability too, check out your area and see what good causes are available for you to support.
I was going through a tough time and had to lean on social services and other organizations, and you think that when they say emergency assistance, thats what it means. Nope. Emergency assistance here means $300 (1 x per 12 month period) for your rent, and thats if you have an eviction notice or utility bill with a disconnect notice. What is that? But anywho in this time of year especially with the status of some people (unemployed, etc) if you have it and can share it, even something as small as working at a soup kitchen, please do. Can you imagine how many lgbt folk fall into this category?
Taking my community service coordinator hat off....Have a great day.
I am still pondering writing a book. I have started a few. But I never get past like chapter 1. Sad, I know. They aren't heavy reads, humorous really. I will probably finish at least one, while on vacation.
During the holidays I like to go to this event titled Holiday Parade of Homes. These homes are newly constructed and absolutely gorgeous. They have them decorated and stuff for the holiday season. They have snacks and food throughout. Believe me when you are walking through a 3 level 6 bedroom, 4.5 bath home with 2 kitchens, and 4 fireplaces... at least a cup of water is warranted.LOL.The event serves as a fundraiser for the local Habitat for Humanity. If you have the ability too, check out your area and see what good causes are available for you to support.
I was going through a tough time and had to lean on social services and other organizations, and you think that when they say emergency assistance, thats what it means. Nope. Emergency assistance here means $300 (1 x per 12 month period) for your rent, and thats if you have an eviction notice or utility bill with a disconnect notice. What is that? But anywho in this time of year especially with the status of some people (unemployed, etc) if you have it and can share it, even something as small as working at a soup kitchen, please do. Can you imagine how many lgbt folk fall into this category?
Taking my community service coordinator hat off....Have a great day.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Today would be a real good day
to have some of you online friends as real life friends. But I guess, it is something that I have to lean on God for guidance. Wasn't that my lesson. I will let you know how it turns out.
P.S. Be sure to take a look at my last comment on previous post. :-)
P.S. Be sure to take a look at my last comment on previous post. :-)
Thursday, November 13, 2008
I have a confession to make.
The closet door is open, but I still have 1 foot in....I only halfway came out. I sent the link to people I really wanted to know. Others don't even know this blog exists. My family reads, but my girlfriend's family has no idea this blog exists. People I used to work with don't know this blog exists. Why? Fear...and some I just don't want all up in my bedroom. I want to come out all the way. But there has always been so much speculation...I don't want people to be right. LOL. Does that make sense? All of the whispers and bets, someone is going to win them. But I don't want to be the one to confirm it...At my former job, I never confirmed nor denied. I even had an incident where a group of students found out, but once again... I just sort of laughed it off to, "Are you trying to hook up with me?" My girlfriend is not out...and I don't want to be the one to out her. If I did come all the way out, everyone would automatically know. What's a girl to do?
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Why? Why me?
Growing up, I went to church pretty regularly. I was in the youth choir, went to Sunday school, very active in the youth department, girl scouts, and all of that good stuff. I was even in the gospel choir at school. The only times I missed services were graduation night, prom night, grad night celebration at Disney World, and if I was out of town or spending the night with someone who didn’t go to church. Essentially, church and God were a big part of my life. A lot of times in church, I tried to follow along, but I just didn’t get what the pastor was saying.
I stopped going to church sophomore or junior year of college. It was so different. Churches here are huge. They have different customs from what I was used to. Why did they send me tithing envelopes and I wasn’t even a member of the church? Why did they require that you attend new member orientation? What in the heck was an overflow room? (I really want to say why come.) Why was it a requirement to only date members of the church? Why do people “catch the spirit” on cue? Why are you asking people to put $10000 in the offering plate? What happened to just giving what you want to give? Then all of a sudden, every time you turned around someone was gay bashing. I am only actually describing 6 churches out of over 900. But they definitely put a bad taste in my mouth.
This year, I finally visited a church where I truly enjoy the service. It reminded me of my home church. They even have the same color scheme. It is about the same size. I especially love it because every time I go, the message seems to be specially tailored to my feelings, thoughts, and situations. I have been practicing not just listening to the message on that day, but also reflecting on the message and integrating it into my everyday life. I have been going through some “trials and tribulations” but I couldn’t figure out why. For a very long time, I have been seeking acceptance from people I shouldn’t have had to seek it from. Maya Angelou says, “People show you who they are, the first time. It is up to you to listen.” You would be amazed at the things I have done because I didn’t listen to people the first time they showed their tail with me. It made me really unhappy. Why me though? What was the lesson I was supposed to be learning?
Psalm 91: 1-2 (NKJV)
He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress;
my God in him I will trust”.
I need to trust God. I only have to trust God. I have to relinquish my control over to him and trust that he orders my steps appropriately. All of the stuff I have been doing was in vain because it was aggressive, not producing the desired results, and not done in consultation with my higher power. The self was taking over…the scared gay girl who seeks financial security, but loves being creative let fear step in instead of God and had me working overtime in my head, instead of my heart. And although He did allow earthly parents to bring us here, we are His children.
Psalm 121: 1-2(NKJV)
I will lift up my eyes to the hills-
From whence comes my help?
My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.
My lesson: Instead of running to people, run to God.
I stopped going to church sophomore or junior year of college. It was so different. Churches here are huge. They have different customs from what I was used to. Why did they send me tithing envelopes and I wasn’t even a member of the church? Why did they require that you attend new member orientation? What in the heck was an overflow room? (I really want to say why come.) Why was it a requirement to only date members of the church? Why do people “catch the spirit” on cue? Why are you asking people to put $10000 in the offering plate? What happened to just giving what you want to give? Then all of a sudden, every time you turned around someone was gay bashing. I am only actually describing 6 churches out of over 900. But they definitely put a bad taste in my mouth.
This year, I finally visited a church where I truly enjoy the service. It reminded me of my home church. They even have the same color scheme. It is about the same size. I especially love it because every time I go, the message seems to be specially tailored to my feelings, thoughts, and situations. I have been practicing not just listening to the message on that day, but also reflecting on the message and integrating it into my everyday life. I have been going through some “trials and tribulations” but I couldn’t figure out why. For a very long time, I have been seeking acceptance from people I shouldn’t have had to seek it from. Maya Angelou says, “People show you who they are, the first time. It is up to you to listen.” You would be amazed at the things I have done because I didn’t listen to people the first time they showed their tail with me. It made me really unhappy. Why me though? What was the lesson I was supposed to be learning?
Psalm 91: 1-2 (NKJV)
He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High
Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress;
my God in him I will trust”.
I need to trust God. I only have to trust God. I have to relinquish my control over to him and trust that he orders my steps appropriately. All of the stuff I have been doing was in vain because it was aggressive, not producing the desired results, and not done in consultation with my higher power. The self was taking over…the scared gay girl who seeks financial security, but loves being creative let fear step in instead of God and had me working overtime in my head, instead of my heart. And although He did allow earthly parents to bring us here, we are His children.
Psalm 121: 1-2(NKJV)
I will lift up my eyes to the hills-
From whence comes my help?
My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.
My lesson: Instead of running to people, run to God.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Slow Down....
I am going to:
relax more
not be so high strung
enjoy life
read other peoples blogs more often, not just the ones currently on my list
cook more ( i made ramen noodles with green peas the other day)
look at more comedy sitcoms
laugh at least 5 times a day
basically, take a chill pill.
relax more
not be so high strung
enjoy life
read other peoples blogs more often, not just the ones currently on my list
cook more ( i made ramen noodles with green peas the other day)
look at more comedy sitcoms
laugh at least 5 times a day
basically, take a chill pill.
Feeling joy...again.
"Whether it's a trophy, money, relationships, or things, the achievement of anything that you desire must be considered success. Bu if you will let your standard of success be your achievement of joy, everything else will then fall easily into place."
The Law of Attraction Cards (The Teachings of Abraham)
by Esther and Jerry Hicks
card 32
The Law of Attraction Cards (The Teachings of Abraham)
by Esther and Jerry Hicks
card 32
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Back to life..
Back to reality...I know you remember that song. But anywho...I am feeling "in limbo" right now. I want so much from life, but it feels somewhat elusive. I want to do things for me, instead of doing them for others. This rant stems from me " not having a real job". That statement in itself has me pissed. You already know who said it...yep, my momma.
I work hard. I update 2 blogs, conduct interviews for freelance jobs, write articles for the deux dames website, make clutches and purses for sale on the blog, website, and arts & crafts fairs. Plus I look for other venues to spread our work, collaborate with others all while trying to keep a roof over my head and food in my tummy. I work-Everyday-In some fashion or another. At night I am so tired, I drift off to sleep with no problem (i used to be a terrible insomniac). I am almost at that level of success, I have been trying to reach...I just want a little bit of SUPPORT. Is that too much to ask?
I work hard. I update 2 blogs, conduct interviews for freelance jobs, write articles for the deux dames website, make clutches and purses for sale on the blog, website, and arts & crafts fairs. Plus I look for other venues to spread our work, collaborate with others all while trying to keep a roof over my head and food in my tummy. I work-Everyday-In some fashion or another. At night I am so tired, I drift off to sleep with no problem (i used to be a terrible insomniac). I am almost at that level of success, I have been trying to reach...I just want a little bit of SUPPORT. Is that too much to ask?
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Every gay girl should have...
$34.99 at Barnes and Noble, cheaper than some marriage licenses, more valuable than an engagement ring. My whole gripe with the current marriage law in NC is that I can marry my first cousin, yes...my aunts son, my mom's sister's son, but I can't marry my girlfriend. Now that's just nasty.
Next addition to the would you rather series:
Would you rather marry someone of the same gender or marry a relative?
Thursday, November 6, 2008
One Monkey Don't Stop No Show....
Many people are discouraged that even though Barack Obama was elected president many gay marriage initiatives have been defeated (at least for now). I think people must take a page out of Barack's book. You have to remain positive and keep it moving.
Don't let the drama, and fear of others control your outlook on life in this country. Keep being the wonderful person that God created. And remain steadfast, unmoveable, and unwavering in your belief that you will be able to get married to your significant other one day. I refuse to think of these circumstances as permanent...it is just a temporary present, getting ready for a phenomenal future.
As a matter of fact, why are we allowing other people to dictate our future? You don't need the states to tell you that you can get married. If you want to get married...damn it get married. Call your boo...your wife,,,instead of your partner/significant other/lover. Go to a church (there are many that perform gay marriages) and ask the minister to perform your wedding. Here in NC, Rev Tonya Rawls is a phenomenal minister who I know when we are ready will be performing our wedding. Get all of your paperwork in order and move on with your life.
Stop talking about what others' won't allow us to do and just do it, if that is what you want to do. That's what Barack did.
Don't let the drama, and fear of others control your outlook on life in this country. Keep being the wonderful person that God created. And remain steadfast, unmoveable, and unwavering in your belief that you will be able to get married to your significant other one day. I refuse to think of these circumstances as permanent...it is just a temporary present, getting ready for a phenomenal future.
As a matter of fact, why are we allowing other people to dictate our future? You don't need the states to tell you that you can get married. If you want to get married...damn it get married. Call your boo...your wife,,,instead of your partner/significant other/lover. Go to a church (there are many that perform gay marriages) and ask the minister to perform your wedding. Here in NC, Rev Tonya Rawls is a phenomenal minister who I know when we are ready will be performing our wedding. Get all of your paperwork in order and move on with your life.
Stop talking about what others' won't allow us to do and just do it, if that is what you want to do. That's what Barack did.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Anything is Possible
I have been trying to come to grips with this feeling of elation inside of me. Trying to figure out why I am so excited; what it is called...excitement just doesn't seem appropriate. It's more than excitement, jubilation, and similar expressions combined. Moving forward throughout the day as I ran into more people, talked to family and friends all across the country the sense of something bigger than us was going on and there indeed was hope for a better America. Hope. Peace. Love. I went to church last night, great message, leave the past behind and move forward looking toward the possibilities of better days. That triggered the simple phrase that accurately depicted how I was feeling all day:
With unwavering, unshakeable, unmoveable faith, anything is possible.
With unwavering, unshakeable, unmoveable faith, anything is possible.
Congratulations America
This is one of those things that was bound to happen. As I was at the library last night, I heard mounds of people talking about they didn't vote...it was against their religion...McCain was going to win anyway...etc, etc. They mocked the desire for people to really want change and actually go out and do it.
But this was bound to happen. With or without the naysayers, the Lord saw fit for Obama to be the next President of the United States and let everything align in his favor. North Carolina's electoral wasn't even called and Obama still had over 270 needed electorates. Just think if those knuckleheads would have voted...it wouldn't have been too close to call. But it didn't matter. Even the broken down ballot machines didn't twist this result. And there was no need for a recount.
Simply put, it will change the course of our country forever.
I must admit I was not an Obama supporter initially. I was definitely a Hillary fan because she actually spelled out what she was going to do. She had a plan. Not just a reiteration of the problem. Maybe that was Hillary's downfall...she had too much planned and people didn't care about the details. I am a details type of person...so I was sold on her initiatives. But after she lost and McCain chose Palin...I had to sit back and take a look at this situation. Like I said, I followed my heart. I would have loved for Palin to be more polished -- share any one of my views on any subject--but she didn't so I had to move on to someone who did see my vision for a better country. And by golly America you did what many thought was the unthinkable. Congratulations.
But this was bound to happen. With or without the naysayers, the Lord saw fit for Obama to be the next President of the United States and let everything align in his favor. North Carolina's electoral wasn't even called and Obama still had over 270 needed electorates. Just think if those knuckleheads would have voted...it wouldn't have been too close to call. But it didn't matter. Even the broken down ballot machines didn't twist this result. And there was no need for a recount.
Simply put, it will change the course of our country forever.
I must admit I was not an Obama supporter initially. I was definitely a Hillary fan because she actually spelled out what she was going to do. She had a plan. Not just a reiteration of the problem. Maybe that was Hillary's downfall...she had too much planned and people didn't care about the details. I am a details type of person...so I was sold on her initiatives. But after she lost and McCain chose Palin...I had to sit back and take a look at this situation. Like I said, I followed my heart. I would have loved for Palin to be more polished -- share any one of my views on any subject--but she didn't so I had to move on to someone who did see my vision for a better country. And by golly America you did what many thought was the unthinkable. Congratulations.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Full Circle
Today is election day. If you remember way back in September when I started blogging, my mom and I had this big blow-up about my stance on gay marriage. Mainly because I don't see anything wrong with 2 consenting adults declaring their love for one another and making it official in the eyes of God, friends, family, and anyone else who wants to put there nose in the relationship.
Her argument for voting Republican was that this was an ablahblahblah.
Well election day is here.
I received countless mailers and phone calls begging for my vote. Every television station featured countless attack ads for various candidates. The ladies from The View got on my damn nerves. And now its over. None of the stuff even effected my vote.
In the end, I voted the way my heart led me to vote.
After today, people will go back to bashing celebrities, celebutantes, and pop stars alike. And life will get back to normal. Or will it?
Her argument for voting Republican was that this was an ablahblahblah.
Well election day is here.
I received countless mailers and phone calls begging for my vote. Every television station featured countless attack ads for various candidates. The ladies from The View got on my damn nerves. And now its over. None of the stuff even effected my vote.
In the end, I voted the way my heart led me to vote.
After today, people will go back to bashing celebrities, celebutantes, and pop stars alike. And life will get back to normal. Or will it?
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Parents Just Don't Understand
One of my favorite authors, Kyra Davis, wrote a blog recently that struck me so hard==right in the gut. Read this excerpt:
"The biggest surprise for most parents is that their kid isn’t who they expected him to be....The only problem is that perspective parents don’t know who that other human being is yet... But when our kid engages in behavior we believe is unseemly it’s a whole ‘nother ballgame. Yes, it’s still their life but we gave them that life. (I laughed out loud here...can't you here your mom saying that) It’s inevitable that they’ll inherit some of our physical features but we also want to make sure they inherent our values and priorities."
This was written about her relationship with her child and centered mostly around her love for Halloween and his apparent apathy (right word?). But what she says is true in so many instances. I applaud her for being able to articulate what I have felt for so long in a way that I could not ignore. Parents have certain expectations sometimes before the kids are even born and they do not know how to let their child be an individual, with likes and dislikes all their own.
"The biggest surprise for most parents is that their kid isn’t who they expected him to be....The only problem is that perspective parents don’t know who that other human being is yet... But when our kid engages in behavior we believe is unseemly it’s a whole ‘nother ballgame. Yes, it’s still their life but we gave them that life. (I laughed out loud here...can't you here your mom saying that) It’s inevitable that they’ll inherit some of our physical features but we also want to make sure they inherent our values and priorities."
This was written about her relationship with her child and centered mostly around her love for Halloween and his apparent apathy (right word?). But what she says is true in so many instances. I applaud her for being able to articulate what I have felt for so long in a way that I could not ignore. Parents have certain expectations sometimes before the kids are even born and they do not know how to let their child be an individual, with likes and dislikes all their own.
Art and Love
So I have fallen in love with my craft. I did not think I was an artist at first. Each clutch is individual in nature. I look at the materials; they tell me what they want to look like and how they want to be used. I am working from a place of love for what I do. I wake up in the morning, perform the incidental routine of waking up, and begin sewing. Here are a few of the early clutches.
This is a detailed look of the jewels on one of the clutches. I like how they take the clutches to a fancier and more elegant place.
alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5264177346809153362" />
This is one of the purses that I made. It was not mine initially. But my partner decided she wanted to make coin purses. So I finished this one off.
I think these little coin purses are cute.
This is one of the purses that is for sale at Lights and Lathers. She sells handmade soaps, lotion, candles and more. She also has jewelry and now my clutches.
It feels good. I know I say this a lot, but when you have felt bad for so long, it is so important to acknowledge when you feel good. I hope you have a great day.
This is a detailed look of the jewels on one of the clutches. I like how they take the clutches to a fancier and more elegant place.
alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5264177346809153362" />This is one of the purses that I made. It was not mine initially. But my partner decided she wanted to make coin purses. So I finished this one off.
I think these little coin purses are cute.
This is one of the purses that is for sale at Lights and Lathers. She sells handmade soaps, lotion, candles and more. She also has jewelry and now my clutches.
It feels good. I know I say this a lot, but when you have felt bad for so long, it is so important to acknowledge when you feel good. I hope you have a great day.
Church
It is totally inappropriate to snore in church. LOL. It is one thing to sleep but to snore is entirely inappropriate. LOL LOL.
Emotional Rollercoaster....
I tell you this past week has had its ups and downs and I am glad to be starting anew. I will not revisit that point so lets just move along. I have missed writing terribly. This week made me realize just how dependent I am on the internet. I would rather have the internet than cable.
I have made a lot of purses (20 total), shipped some off, taken more pictures, and even have some for sale in one of my favorite stores. The response to them have been amazing. I am so happy and so overjoyed. This journey is so different then the one I envisioned as a little girl, but I am still enjoying the ride.
I voted too! So glad that pressure is off. If you didn't participate in early voting, please vote this Tuesday.
I have made a lot of purses (20 total), shipped some off, taken more pictures, and even have some for sale in one of my favorite stores. The response to them have been amazing. I am so happy and so overjoyed. This journey is so different then the one I envisioned as a little girl, but I am still enjoying the ride.
I voted too! So glad that pressure is off. If you didn't participate in early voting, please vote this Tuesday.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Sometimes.... I feel....
like a motherless child. Now this statement is so not true. But it seems every morning I wake up with a song in my head. Well maybe it is true in some respect, just not this morning.
I feel a lot better though. Rest. I just needed a little rest--mentally and physically. I have the propensity to overwork myself, but hey when all of my hopes and dreams are invested in something...I tend to get a little crazy stressed and my immune system shuts down.
It was nice and sunny yesterday, so I went to church (great service), took some pictures of the purses (great pictures in natural light versus artificial flash), and watched some movies (Old School & What's the Worst That Could Happen--funny).
We forgot to get the USB cord for the camera, so still no pics uploaded. But that will be remedied soon. BTW I didn't actually write that post on Saturday, I started it on Saturday.
Anyway, I have a busy day ahead, so I will probably post again later tonight. TTYL.
I feel a lot better though. Rest. I just needed a little rest--mentally and physically. I have the propensity to overwork myself, but hey when all of my hopes and dreams are invested in something...I tend to get a little crazy stressed and my immune system shuts down.
It was nice and sunny yesterday, so I went to church (great service), took some pictures of the purses (great pictures in natural light versus artificial flash), and watched some movies (Old School & What's the Worst That Could Happen--funny).
We forgot to get the USB cord for the camera, so still no pics uploaded. But that will be remedied soon. BTW I didn't actually write that post on Saturday, I started it on Saturday.
Anyway, I have a busy day ahead, so I will probably post again later tonight. TTYL.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
I am ashamed to admit....
I love the Disney Channel. Ever since I was a little kid, the big mouse stole my heart. I love their movies and sitcoms. I think my mom knew that this was really the only good wholesom television station and didn't want to influence me otherwise. I was known to sneak and watch the nudie movies on HBO in the middle of the night. LOL...shhh don't tell nobody!
While I was finishing up some new totes last night, I watched Camp Rock the sing-a-long version and it was freakin' awesome LOL. Tonight they are showing High School Musical 1 the sing-a-long version as well. I will be glued to the television with needle and thread in hand. I even watch Kid's Incorporated and the Mickey Mouse Club on Youtube. Does anyone remember the singing group, The Party?
I admit this because I am really upset with the big rodents right now. Why you ask?
Because High School Musical 3 is not going to be shown on television, but is being released in the movie theater. Why Mickey, why?! You let people tune in to 2 HSM movies for a relatively low cost if you already have cable and now you want me to go to the movies, fork over $10 for the ticket and another $10 for the popcorn and drink just so I can see what they are wearing to prom?! No Way. That is crazy.
As I ponder, how I am going to get into this movie for free--and without being seen, enjoy this little blast from the past.
While I was finishing up some new totes last night, I watched Camp Rock the sing-a-long version and it was freakin' awesome LOL. Tonight they are showing High School Musical 1 the sing-a-long version as well. I will be glued to the television with needle and thread in hand. I even watch Kid's Incorporated and the Mickey Mouse Club on Youtube. Does anyone remember the singing group, The Party?
I admit this because I am really upset with the big rodents right now. Why you ask?
Because High School Musical 3 is not going to be shown on television, but is being released in the movie theater. Why Mickey, why?! You let people tune in to 2 HSM movies for a relatively low cost if you already have cable and now you want me to go to the movies, fork over $10 for the ticket and another $10 for the popcorn and drink just so I can see what they are wearing to prom?! No Way. That is crazy.
As I ponder, how I am going to get into this movie for free--and without being seen, enjoy this little blast from the past.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Hip Hop Hoorayyy!
I watched the Hip Hop Honors the other night, so that song is stuck in my head. It was one of my favorite songs back in the day--so I don't mind.
But yesterday was a grand day. I hit up the stores looking for embellishments for the clutches, totes, and purses. I was inundated with $4 jewels. I realized then that is why purses cost so darn much. A little round thinga-ma-jig, just one-for $4. No thank you. And to top it all off, they weren't even that cute. So we(my love and I) decided to hit up the thrift stores and honey did we hit the jackpot! Gorgeous vintage buttons and earrings (in great condition) that will take these clutches to the next level. This literally means that no two purses will ever be alike. I like the fact that each one will be its own little jewel.
Then a digital camera...not a camera phone has manifested itself for me today. So today, I will be playing photographer. It is a hobby that I have enjoyed since my yearbook staff days in high school. I love black and white photographs. A past co-worker was actually able to buy a old-school polaroid black and white camera for $5 on Ebay. I met no such luck-the guy tried to skip off with my $20. I got it back though, so no harm done. With all of that said, that means new-better pictures will be up this week. Heeyyyy! LOL.
I finally feel like I am on the right track. The website is steadily coming along and evolving into a masterpiece in and of itself (www.deuxdames.com). Each time I make a clutch or tote, they look better than the one before. I am just so excited that everything I need is literally falling into my hands.
Well a busy day is ahead, I hope your dreams come true.
But yesterday was a grand day. I hit up the stores looking for embellishments for the clutches, totes, and purses. I was inundated with $4 jewels. I realized then that is why purses cost so darn much. A little round thinga-ma-jig, just one-for $4. No thank you. And to top it all off, they weren't even that cute. So we(my love and I) decided to hit up the thrift stores and honey did we hit the jackpot! Gorgeous vintage buttons and earrings (in great condition) that will take these clutches to the next level. This literally means that no two purses will ever be alike. I like the fact that each one will be its own little jewel.
Then a digital camera...not a camera phone has manifested itself for me today. So today, I will be playing photographer. It is a hobby that I have enjoyed since my yearbook staff days in high school. I love black and white photographs. A past co-worker was actually able to buy a old-school polaroid black and white camera for $5 on Ebay. I met no such luck-the guy tried to skip off with my $20. I got it back though, so no harm done. With all of that said, that means new-better pictures will be up this week. Heeyyyy! LOL.
I finally feel like I am on the right track. The website is steadily coming along and evolving into a masterpiece in and of itself (www.deuxdames.com). Each time I make a clutch or tote, they look better than the one before. I am just so excited that everything I need is literally falling into my hands.
Well a busy day is ahead, I hope your dreams come true.
That's not CoCo Chanel
Yes, it is inappropriate no matter how busy you are to wear pajamas and/or slippers out in public-like it's high fashion. LOL -- I tickled myself on that one.
Monday, October 20, 2008
I've got JOY
So most of you know that this blog started because I wanted a little bit of acceptance from my mama. Our relationship is evolving and we have reconnected especially over the sewing bit. Let me tell you friends, she loves my little clutches.
By the way the clutches are for sale, $15 plus shipping, for blog customers only. I will have my etsy store up soon. Until then, you can buy them directly from me. Just send me an email and I will process your order.
I think she is the most proud because it shows that I listened to her at some point in my life. She even bought 5 of them. Can you believe that? I am ecstatic. Especially since I didn't get the job I interviewed for last Thursday...oh well. It must not have been for me.
It is really cold here today. It is the low 30's. What the heck happened? One day I am in sandals, the next my winter coat. Reminds me of Florida (they always used to say, we've got a cold snap or a cold front moving through)...awww I miss home a little bit.
I need to more appreciation for heat and air when I have them naturally from God. Hmmm.
I have to go get dressed, I am playing chauffer (sp) today--everyone in my house has somewehere to be.
I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend and have a good day at work/school. TTYL.
By the way the clutches are for sale, $15 plus shipping, for blog customers only. I will have my etsy store up soon. Until then, you can buy them directly from me. Just send me an email and I will process your order.
I think she is the most proud because it shows that I listened to her at some point in my life. She even bought 5 of them. Can you believe that? I am ecstatic. Especially since I didn't get the job I interviewed for last Thursday...oh well. It must not have been for me.
It is really cold here today. It is the low 30's. What the heck happened? One day I am in sandals, the next my winter coat. Reminds me of Florida (they always used to say, we've got a cold snap or a cold front moving through)...awww I miss home a little bit.
I need to more appreciation for heat and air when I have them naturally from God. Hmmm.
I have to go get dressed, I am playing chauffer (sp) today--everyone in my house has somewehere to be.
I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend and have a good day at work/school. TTYL.
Monday, October 13, 2008
What's Right With My Life?
I feel the urge to people bash, but I won't. It is a lot wrong with the world and with a lot of the people in it, but at this very moment, I am choosing to focus on what is RIGHT and GOOD! Doing this allows me to counteract the negative energy seeping from my pores.
First--I didn't cook today. The sloppy joes we had were delicious though. No one is complaining.
Second-- I received some money today! YAY! Much needed and much appreciated from... my mommy :-)
Our relationship has gotten so much better. I began to focus on what I wanted our relationship to be like, instead of what it actually was at the time. We talk about a lot of stuff...especially sewing. The positive thinking works. It really does.
A month ago, I was ready to chant Kelis's I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW...and now I am really relaxing and enjoying our relationship. I actually call my mom at least 2-3 times a week versus the 2-3 times a quarter. It feels good.
First--I didn't cook today. The sloppy joes we had were delicious though. No one is complaining.
Second-- I received some money today! YAY! Much needed and much appreciated from... my mommy :-)
Our relationship has gotten so much better. I began to focus on what I wanted our relationship to be like, instead of what it actually was at the time. We talk about a lot of stuff...especially sewing. The positive thinking works. It really does.
A month ago, I was ready to chant Kelis's I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW...and now I am really relaxing and enjoying our relationship. I actually call my mom at least 2-3 times a week versus the 2-3 times a quarter. It feels good.
It's Monday and I'm Still Gay
Hola! Today is a good day. It's Monday. The beginning of a new beginning. I may even cook this week. LOL. I can cook, I just don't...usually. But I suppose I should give my housemates a break. The only things I've cooked in the last month, maybe even two months are ramen noodles, hot dogs and french fries, maybe even fish filets. I know, sad. LOL.
I have finished approximately 4 purses and 1 clutch. I really like the clutch, you saw it right? I am going to make another one of those. I started my store at Etsy. Nothing is up in there right now. But it will be soon.
I love being this independent woman.
I have finished approximately 4 purses and 1 clutch. I really like the clutch, you saw it right? I am going to make another one of those. I started my store at Etsy. Nothing is up in there right now. But it will be soon.
I love being this independent woman.
Puppies & People Food
It is inappropriate to give your puppy a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and laugh when the peanut butter is stuck to the roof of her mouth. Not good.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Low-rise Jeans
I was in Walmart one night and as I walked down the aisle, this young lady was bent over---you know doing her shopping. Unfortunately, I got the moon of my life as she had on a thong and low rise jeans....all of her was exposed. Totally inappopriate!
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Be My Guest
It is totally inappropriate to invite people to your home where refreshments are expected, but really there are no snacks to give!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Free Phone Sex
Phone sex is not free. Therefore, it is totally inappropriate to call any company trying to have phone sex with the customer service representatives to avoid paying the 1-900-PHONE CHARGES.
Dedication
To Jerrat and Michele who seem to always say something inappropriate – but I crack up laughing every time.
To all of you (like me) who have at one time or another seen, heard, or participated in some form of inappropriateness.
To my best friends Nyree, Liz, and Darnita who have participated in some shenanigans and matured with me.
And to that special someone who helps me move through the inappropriateness in my life into a better space.
To all of you (like me) who have at one time or another seen, heard, or participated in some form of inappropriateness.
To my best friends Nyree, Liz, and Darnita who have participated in some shenanigans and matured with me.
And to that special someone who helps me move through the inappropriateness in my life into a better space.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Website relaunch...
For the last few days, I have been busy readying the website. The initial deadline was October 1, 2008. That steadily moved to October 2, then October 6 and finally I posted: Sign up for our newsletter and be the first notified when the site is up and at em again. LOL. The funny part was it took me 6 attempts to send out only a handful of newsletters via email. When I finally checked the links, they didn't even work. LOL LOL LOL. So I just had to stop. But the website is up to date. We did so much more than we did before. I am so proud of us.
Did you watch the debates? I didn't. I have no desire too. I hope you all had a great week.
Today's positive thought: We are at our very best, and we are happiest, when we are fully engaged in work we enjoy, on the journey toward the goal we've established for ourselves. It gives meaning to our time off and comfort to our sleep. It makes everything else in life so wonderful, so worthwhile. Earl Ni
Today's Affirmation: I love the work that I do!
Did you watch the debates? I didn't. I have no desire too. I hope you all had a great week.
Today's positive thought: We are at our very best, and we are happiest, when we are fully engaged in work we enjoy, on the journey toward the goal we've established for ourselves. It gives meaning to our time off and comfort to our sleep. It makes everything else in life so wonderful, so worthwhile. Earl Ni
Today's Affirmation: I love the work that I do!
Monday, September 29, 2008
How are you?
I am blessed and highly favored! I didn't get to church yesterday (overslept). I did start a new purse, I will finish it later on today. Just the last whipstitch. This cold weather has me just wanting to cuddle up to something warm with that hot chocolate I never got on Saturday (I did have tea--good tea with Lele). I don't have anything to talk about. Has that ever happened to you? I mean I am mouth almighty sometimes...but not today. I have so much to do. We are re-launching our webpage on Wednesday (www.deuxdames.com) So I just wanted to say hello. See how you are doing. And you can comment on my page by clicking on comments at the end of each post. I know it's tiny. But hey, it's free...I'm not complaining.
Ya'll, I almost forgot. I am 97% back into some pants I haven't worn since 2005. yea me! They are up and fit comfortably through the leg, it's the buttons fault--to far over lol. have a great night
Ya'll, I almost forgot. I am 97% back into some pants I haven't worn since 2005. yea me! They are up and fit comfortably through the leg, it's the buttons fault--to far over lol. have a great night
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Pride Events
Hello friends,
This weekend is Pride2008 in Durham. I have gone before, but not this weekend--it's rainy, wet, blah! I just want to stay inside curled up with a good book next to my boo, drinking hot chocolate or tea. lol.
If you have never been to a pride event I must implore you to go to at least one!!!!Even if you are straight, I believe you will have a good time. They are all different! I have attended Durham's pride and Charlotte NC Black Gay Pride, and that's it. Now I could compare the two, but honestly there's no comparison!
People sometimes say, why do you have to have a black pride, isn't it perpetuating the differences between the two races? I say, it's not about race, it's about culture. The one thing I can say about going to the black pride is that I really enjoyed it when they had a movie festival (some of the best african-american lgbt short films around), poetry reading (my friend wanted to throw her hat it was so good), a fierce fashion show (that same friend had models flirting with her all night), and Angela Harvey telling it like it is! I met Laurinda Brown before her books were filling up space on Barnes and Noble bookshelves. I met a lot of people, danced my ass off, and kept a few people from trying to go home with my girl(that old lady).
The feeling of belonging, comfort, fun, joy, happiness, and seeing people like yourself was amazing. Now everyone is different, so you may feel a little uneasy at first, but everyone there is gay or gay friendly! You aren't going to be hurled out on the street if you aren't rocking a fitted baseball cap and timberland boots (LOL). Everyone is not dressed like that. You had a variety of crowds (gay boi's, strippers, artists, writers, mortgage brokers, social justice non-profits, hair stylists, make-up artists, health professionals, crafters, and so much more.) I had my most recent HIV test there. It was so easy and quick. (Get tested!) I am just remembering all of the fun times I had at Pride. I may not make it this year, but I want you to enjoy yourself. Stop reading this. Get out there and enjoy life.
This weekend is Pride2008 in Durham. I have gone before, but not this weekend--it's rainy, wet, blah! I just want to stay inside curled up with a good book next to my boo, drinking hot chocolate or tea. lol.
If you have never been to a pride event I must implore you to go to at least one!!!!Even if you are straight, I believe you will have a good time. They are all different! I have attended Durham's pride and Charlotte NC Black Gay Pride, and that's it. Now I could compare the two, but honestly there's no comparison!
People sometimes say, why do you have to have a black pride, isn't it perpetuating the differences between the two races? I say, it's not about race, it's about culture. The one thing I can say about going to the black pride is that I really enjoyed it when they had a movie festival (some of the best african-american lgbt short films around), poetry reading (my friend wanted to throw her hat it was so good), a fierce fashion show (that same friend had models flirting with her all night), and Angela Harvey telling it like it is! I met Laurinda Brown before her books were filling up space on Barnes and Noble bookshelves. I met a lot of people, danced my ass off, and kept a few people from trying to go home with my girl(that old lady).
The feeling of belonging, comfort, fun, joy, happiness, and seeing people like yourself was amazing. Now everyone is different, so you may feel a little uneasy at first, but everyone there is gay or gay friendly! You aren't going to be hurled out on the street if you aren't rocking a fitted baseball cap and timberland boots (LOL). Everyone is not dressed like that. You had a variety of crowds (gay boi's, strippers, artists, writers, mortgage brokers, social justice non-profits, hair stylists, make-up artists, health professionals, crafters, and so much more.) I had my most recent HIV test there. It was so easy and quick. (Get tested!) I am just remembering all of the fun times I had at Pride. I may not make it this year, but I want you to enjoy yourself. Stop reading this. Get out there and enjoy life.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Things I Like
Writing is my passion. I have spent a lot of years, thinking about becoming a writer and I have finally decided to do just that! If you notice, I try to write every weekday since I started this blog. Tonight, I got online just in the nick of time. Whew! When I win the essay competition I entered last week, you will be able to read all about my obsession.
I have recently become addicted to hummus. The first time I tried it was at a conference where all that was served was greek food. It looked more appealing than the grape leaves, now I am hooked. Your local grocery store will have a decent brand. I actually even like Walmart's brand (It's less than $2 for about 8 ounces). Paired with the hummus are bagel chips or crackers of some sort. Yum
The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace D. Wattles (the book that inspired The Secret) is my absolute favorite book right now. There are a lot of authors that I enjoy (Kyra Davis, Rochelle Alers, Sandra Brown), but Wallace is phenomenal. Books that are older fascinate me with their relevancy. Do you want a copy? I have a few extra's, so just let me know.
Lights and Lathers Olive Oil and Honey Intensive Moisturizing Skin Treatment. Loving it!!! This is the ONLY lotion that I can wear all day and not develop dry skin! www.lightsandlathers.com It's $12, but worth every penny. It lasted about 2 months. Yes, I am chronically ashy. I am so ashy, that one day my students thought I had on white tights, and I didn't. I know...sad...so don't tell anyone else. LOL!
I'll tell you more tomorrow night, for I have so much to do before I retire for the evening. Good Night.
I have recently become addicted to hummus. The first time I tried it was at a conference where all that was served was greek food. It looked more appealing than the grape leaves, now I am hooked. Your local grocery store will have a decent brand. I actually even like Walmart's brand (It's less than $2 for about 8 ounces). Paired with the hummus are bagel chips or crackers of some sort. Yum
The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace D. Wattles (the book that inspired The Secret) is my absolute favorite book right now. There are a lot of authors that I enjoy (Kyra Davis, Rochelle Alers, Sandra Brown), but Wallace is phenomenal. Books that are older fascinate me with their relevancy. Do you want a copy? I have a few extra's, so just let me know.
Lights and Lathers Olive Oil and Honey Intensive Moisturizing Skin Treatment. Loving it!!! This is the ONLY lotion that I can wear all day and not develop dry skin! www.lightsandlathers.com It's $12, but worth every penny. It lasted about 2 months. Yes, I am chronically ashy. I am so ashy, that one day my students thought I had on white tights, and I didn't. I know...sad...so don't tell anyone else. LOL!
I'll tell you more tomorrow night, for I have so much to do before I retire for the evening. Good Night.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Cake, chocolate, and more cake!
Today I had the most delicious piece of chocolate cake. I wanted to eat the whole cake, but I didn't. Just a slice. That is a good representation of what the cake looked like. I am addicted to sweets. It is easier to just not eat the sweets. I guess I can describe it as a drug. Once you go through withdrawal--it is easy for me to pass it by. But as soon as I get a taste, I want more and more of it. But I have a really good substitution.
Mocha Cups
(makes 8 small servings - be sure to share with friends!)
3 cups nonfat milk
(makes 8 small servings - be sure to share with friends!)
3 cups nonfat milk
1 (1.4-ounce) packet sugar-free, fat-free chocolate pudding
1 tablespoon instant espresso
8 teaspoons whipped topping
Cocoa powder, for garnish
In a medium mixing bowl, whisk together the milk, chocolate pudding mix, and the instant espresso. Use hand mixer to mix ingredients. Spoon or pipe mocha pudding into cups and top with a 1 tablespoon dollop of whipped topping. Sprinkle with cocoa powder.
I know it isn't cake, but it definitely will curb that chocolate craving and keep that figure in tact or help trim it down. Talk to you next week!
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Lighthearted and full of joy!
I did a lot of writing today. So my post is short and sweet. This baby will have you cracking up.
Monday, September 8, 2008
It's all about the sex....
I think about sex maybe every 12 seconds. I am like a guy. I see a girl and immediately I think about how long it would take for her to have an orgasm. I am hypersexual. I obviously have sex 3-4 times a day. The gays can get anyone they want. Myself included. I don't have to think about who I want to have sex with. No emotional connection whatsoever is needed. Just a warm body, because you know they have to be alive. Lesbians like live people. When gays and lesbians argue about gay marriage, they really just want permission to have sex, so there is no need to have legal protection, no need for it to be the law of the land.
**************************************
Okay, let me stop with the sarcasm before some idiot takes my ranting seriously. Sex for this girl is as important as sex is for anyone else. Wait a minute, now this is interesting. Maybe sex is more important to other people than it is to me, hmm.
That's an interesting thought; considering, I don't think about sex all the time. Me being a lesbian is not about sex. For me, being a lesbian is about LOVE. That's right LOVE. I don't go around hunting down conquests. I genuinely love the person I am with. It didn't happen one drunken night at a bar. It took us damn near 5 years to acknowledge our feelings for one another. We had relationships with guys during that time frame, trying to make our feelings go away. So for those who thought you knew, I told you that you didn't. As a matter of fact, my theory about SOME promiscuous homosexual people is they want a relationship too. But SOCIETY (yes--you big elephants) makes them feel so bad about themselves, that they settle for sexual encounters to keep their sanity. This is supported by the number of gay and lesbians becoming couples, having families, etc. Because it is available to us now, this is what we want. 50 years ago, the idea of a homosexual couple raising a family was not available mainstream, therefore it was harder to find. I know they existed though.
But let's get back to love. Love doesn't call you names. Love isn't mean to you. Love doesn't yell at you for any reason. Love comforts. Love soothes. Love caresses. Love doesn't have unrealistic expectations. Love heals. Love wraps their arm around you and gives you a kiss on the cheek when I get home. Love listens. At least my love does. My love talks to me in the middle of the night about nothing. Love encourages me to follow my dreams. Love has loved me ever since the day I was born. Love will continue to love me until my soul passes over to the other realm.
1 John 4: 8
8 He that loveth not, knoweth not God; for God is love.
Do you love like that? That all encompassing no matter what love? I tell you, it's not about the sex.
**************************************
Okay, let me stop with the sarcasm before some idiot takes my ranting seriously. Sex for this girl is as important as sex is for anyone else. Wait a minute, now this is interesting. Maybe sex is more important to other people than it is to me, hmm.
That's an interesting thought; considering, I don't think about sex all the time. Me being a lesbian is not about sex. For me, being a lesbian is about LOVE. That's right LOVE. I don't go around hunting down conquests. I genuinely love the person I am with. It didn't happen one drunken night at a bar. It took us damn near 5 years to acknowledge our feelings for one another. We had relationships with guys during that time frame, trying to make our feelings go away. So for those who thought you knew, I told you that you didn't. As a matter of fact, my theory about SOME promiscuous homosexual people is they want a relationship too. But SOCIETY (yes--you big elephants) makes them feel so bad about themselves, that they settle for sexual encounters to keep their sanity. This is supported by the number of gay and lesbians becoming couples, having families, etc. Because it is available to us now, this is what we want. 50 years ago, the idea of a homosexual couple raising a family was not available mainstream, therefore it was harder to find. I know they existed though.
But let's get back to love. Love doesn't call you names. Love isn't mean to you. Love doesn't yell at you for any reason. Love comforts. Love soothes. Love caresses. Love doesn't have unrealistic expectations. Love heals. Love wraps their arm around you and gives you a kiss on the cheek when I get home. Love listens. At least my love does. My love talks to me in the middle of the night about nothing. Love encourages me to follow my dreams. Love has loved me ever since the day I was born. Love will continue to love me until my soul passes over to the other realm.
1 John 4: 8
8 He that loveth not, knoweth not God; for God is love.
Do you love like that? That all encompassing no matter what love? I tell you, it's not about the sex.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Foodie Friday
Wow. The Internet is unstoppable. So much has happened over the last few days. The first thing I need to say is Thank You! I suppose this is what it feels like to really relax and feel loved. I created this blog out of the need to get stuff off my chest quickly, efficiently, and succinctly. But I would really like this to evolve into a place where people can come, not just to learn about me as a whole person, but also to gain knowledge. I have a lot to share. Friday's will now be FOODIE Friday. I will sometimes post a recipe, give you a healthy eating tip, or maybe even a restaurant review.
The suppression of myself has caused many disorders including but not limited to a) bouts of depression ( I don't know that they were directly related, but at times my grades, relationships, and responsibilities have suffered, and I know I am not the only one) and b) overeating (now I genuinely LOVE food, but I do go overboard sometimes, but food has never let me down or told me I was going to hell.)
I have started to adopt some healthier habits. For instance tonight, instead of us ordering a large pizza with 3 toppings at regular price and 99 cent cheese bread from Papa John's, we each opted for the personal pan pizza. Not only did it save us 30% of the price, but everyone gets the toppings of their choice, your portion sizes are a little bit closer to what you should be eating, and you actually get full. So instead of eating 4 large slices of pizza, you have 4 mini slices of pizza. For me, that is a step into the right direction. Eventually, I will be one of those eating a personal size thin crust veggie pizza, but I am not there yet.
How's that for being a regular person? LOL. What food habits are you willing to change?
The suppression of myself has caused many disorders including but not limited to a) bouts of depression ( I don't know that they were directly related, but at times my grades, relationships, and responsibilities have suffered, and I know I am not the only one) and b) overeating (now I genuinely LOVE food, but I do go overboard sometimes, but food has never let me down or told me I was going to hell.)
I have started to adopt some healthier habits. For instance tonight, instead of us ordering a large pizza with 3 toppings at regular price and 99 cent cheese bread from Papa John's, we each opted for the personal pan pizza. Not only did it save us 30% of the price, but everyone gets the toppings of their choice, your portion sizes are a little bit closer to what you should be eating, and you actually get full. So instead of eating 4 large slices of pizza, you have 4 mini slices of pizza. For me, that is a step into the right direction. Eventually, I will be one of those eating a personal size thin crust veggie pizza, but I am not there yet.
How's that for being a regular person? LOL. What food habits are you willing to change?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)