On my way home the other night, I got to thinking about marriage again. I remember when I was younger, I didn't want to get married. I didn't see the benefit. My mother was not married to my father, I saw ok--but not great relationships...mostly arguing or the woman doing what the man told her to do. The feminist in me said, "what the F* ever". I vowed to not live my life looking or needing a man.
I was content in going to college to get a degree and create a career, not to find a husband like so many of my other counterparts.
I wanted to own 3 homes: one in Florida, one on an island (preferably Jamaica), and one in the mountains.
I imagined weekends with the girls; hanging out, clubbing, shopping or just relaxing around the house with a good book.
Never did getting married seem like a viable option for me...now shacking up, maybe, but it was against my religion. (LOL, how funny)
For me, married meant being tied to a man that I would come to resent, but stay married too so that I wouldn't go to hell. (cuz divorce is a sin)
I thought about all of this in that 20 minute ride and I wondered, is there something more than marriage? Is there a better word-- a stronger word -- one filled with pure joy, lust, love, romance, compromise? "Civil union" seems so generic and unloving. Domestic partnership, that's akin to roommates.
Our relationships are not generic or unloving, and we are definitely bedmates, not roommates. I've racked my head, and still can't come up with the right word...any ideas?
What about a loveship?
ReplyDeleteor what about love links? Marriage is soooooooooo overrated. I would just do it purely for benefits and conractual stuff in case my significant other passes or becomes incapacitated.
ReplyDeleteI always just say that marriage is in your heart. I don't know what else to call it, let your heart rename it...
ReplyDeleteI don't know what to call it either. But as you can see, when we don't define it ourselves, we get civil unions and domestic partnerships....that kinda sounds like a housekeeping business...
ReplyDeleteI used to feel the same way; I thought marriage meant death. Since my wife and I have gotten married, nothing has changed. So many words have more than one meaning. Why can't this one?
ReplyDeleteHey Brianne, it should be able to have more than one meaning. I don't know why some people are stuck on one man and one woman. One of the discussions that came up at the lgbt blogger summit, was this is even discriminatory to people who are intersex. I would really like to see marriage defined by the individual, without a "marriage license". A bigger question is why do people have to pay to show their love?
ReplyDeleteCan you imagine straight people trying to grasp intersex if they're having trouble with gays and lesbians? Unfortunately, I think they have a much tougher road ahead of them than we do.
ReplyDelete