Monday, May 31, 2010

Renewed Purpose: That Gay Girl Tamara

When I started this blog, I was angry with people for not acknowledging my lesbian existence. The incident:  I was on the phone while the need to back Florida's Proposition 2 (marriage ammendment) during the 2008 election year was discussed-- because "lesbians are sick"  I lost it. I mean the infamous "coming out" arguments were never pretty...and yet people always seemed to forget that I am a lesbian

As a black lesbian who had lived with my girlfriend since 2001, it was mind boggling to say the least.  How could I get folk to listen to me?  The blog was sent to a few friends and it quickly got forwarded to others. It was inevitable that my childhood best friend would send it to her mom. I was shocked and relieved at the same time. I'm sure my mom has read it...as she got the link as well. But, as I progressed and I started baring my soul...I didn't really want her to read it anymore.
In discussions, I found that this--wanting people to not read the blog-- was a common phenomenon with some blog writers.  Throughout this blog, I have simply discussed the nature of myself and all of my inconsistencies. At the moment that the post is written, that is how I feel.  Sometimes, I see myself writing in circles--but it is a great way for me to get to the root of my feelings. When I read the previous posts, I am reminded of my purpose and the path from which I have sometimes strayed. I have no agenda except to be unapologetically and utterly me: a loving lesbian of color engaged to another wonderful lesbian of color and wanting to make the world a better place for all of us.

5 comments:

  1. well said! I can so relate to people not reading my blog but c'est la vie! Have a good holiday!

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  2. I completely understand. I treat my blog like a diary. And yes, it is up for the world to see, but I really don't want anyone outside of "the circle" to read it.

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  3. can i just say that i had a really good comment and it got deleted by me pressing the back button! ugh!

    but umm...really good post on so many levels. as long as you're happy thats what matters. its unfortunate that people think that way.

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  4. Aww PCS...I hope you remember it and come back to post it. :-)

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