I've heard that statement to many times. And it is always in reference to a relationship. Yes, my relationship with my girlfriend is wonderful. Yes we will have a lot of years under our belt this year.
We've had some really fun and marvelous times...
...BUT...
...not without the work. It has not been a walk in the park. We worked our tails off to get to this point. Let's talk about us being friends for 2 years before we even got into a relationship. I don't talk about how our other friendships were tested as we tried to keep it in the closet. I don't talk about the crying, the pain, or the shame we experienced in the beginning. And I don't talk about the all-girls school heteronormative black experience.
It was a painful journey, but our love for each other buffered it along the way. We had to work on communication, getting used to each others habits, the normal likes and dislikes coupled with all the stuff lesbians have to deal with. So please, don't look at other people's relationships and say, "I want what you all have."
You only see what's on the surface.
This is so true Tamara. Congrats on 10 years though. That's beautiful.
ReplyDeleteTamara,
ReplyDeleteWow, ten years is great! Yeah people look at a realtionship and just see the stuff on the outside.
thanks for the congrats...but really it doesn't feel like that long.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking earlier about "why" this bothers me. It's because some people think they are going to meet some random person and get the same results without the compatibility, communication, or the work.
You're so right. If people aren't in that relationship, then all they see is surface stuff and not all the work.
ReplyDelete