So I settled on Silk. Although the post title was in the 200's, Freak Me Baby set it off. I was actually in 8th grade singing this song. So sad--my momma used to pop me in the mouth. LOL.
After I wrote the other post about LBD, I began to wonder what do you need in order to make a relationship really work? I by no means am an expert on relationships. Yes I've been in this thang for a long time, but for a few years it was shear will. We were together because we wanted to be together-not because everything was great. We were distant-not communicating as we normally did - we almost broke up. ALMOST. I mean I didn't think a relationship could withstand such turmoil. But then we had to think about it. Could we live without one another? I will admit, the betrayed Taurus in me thought to myself--yes. But after careful consideration, the answer was undoubtedly a, "Hell No!"
I remember being in arguments and having good make-up sex...but was the problem really fixed? Some say, sex can only fix some of the stuff - the emotions that make us "feel good". It kicks off those neurons and endorphins and we are "happy" once again. So is the problem still there? Can sex keep a relationship together if you have it often enough? Should we be having more meetings in the bedroom and less in the boardroom?
If the sex is missing, does it mean that something else is missing? And if something is missing -- what the hell is it? I mean we probably have heard the same answers over and over again: communication, love, self esteem, support, etc. etc. But are those just exscuses? There is a saying that goes: When a relationship is good sex is only 10% of the equation. When the relationship is bad, sex is 90% of the equation.
Do we(lesbians) use sex as a form of communication? If so, what are we saying?
I just told someone today that sex cannot hold a relationships together, no matter how good it is. Eventually your other needs will come in to play, like emotional need, mental stimulation.
ReplyDeleteI think that if the sex stops, there is a sign that there is something else going wrong in your relationship. But it doesn't mean it's not fixable.