As you get ready to bring the New Year in, here are a few old wives tales and superstitions that my family reminds me of every year.
1. Don't wash clothes or clean up on New Years Day. If you do, you will clean/wash someone right out of the family.
2. A man is supposed to be the first one to come in your house on New Years Day. But I don't know why. Silly asses.
3. Eat greens or a green vegetable for money.
4. Eat black eye peas for luck.
5. Eat pork for health. Does that even make sense?
6. Whatever you are doing when midnight strikes, you will be doing for the rest of the year. That's why my family went to church and we would be praying as the new year rang in.
7. If you live in an urban area, stay away from the windows. Some people like to shoot off guns at midnight. Don't want to get hit by a stray bullet.
8. You aren't supposed to sweep out your door. Put it in a dustpan/paper/and throw it in the trash. I think that was supposed to sweep someone out the family too or they would go to jail or something.
And those are the ones I really remember. A few were thrown in from my girlfriend, but my family told me those too. Whatever you decide to do. I hope you enjoy your evening. Happy New Year.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
The Agenda
I don't make resolutions because I never stick with them. I starting making to-do lists or agendas if you will. They don't necessarily have a time frame, just stuff I really want to accomplish. With the new year less than 10 hours away, it's a good time for me to start dreaming.
This is the entrance to The Chocolate Spa at The Hotel Hershey. A weekend trip there would be nice. They have a chocolate massage that looks as if it is to die for. Hmmm. Relaxation to the fullest.
I also want to be more financially responsible. I can handle a budget, but it's the splurging because "I have to have it and I can afford it" bug that I have to get under control.
Writing has become central in my life. I want writing to be lucrative enough that it is the main job I have. I am already half way there--I am freelancing and I am an online writing tutor. So this is just getting easier and easier.
And last but not least, I see everything I want coming into fruition: home renovations, marriage equality, $$$$, more traveling, more appreciation, more gratitude, and so much happiness I wonder if I can take it all.
This is the entrance to The Chocolate Spa at The Hotel Hershey. A weekend trip there would be nice. They have a chocolate massage that looks as if it is to die for. Hmmm. Relaxation to the fullest.
I also want to be more financially responsible. I can handle a budget, but it's the splurging because "I have to have it and I can afford it" bug that I have to get under control.
Writing has become central in my life. I want writing to be lucrative enough that it is the main job I have. I am already half way there--I am freelancing and I am an online writing tutor. So this is just getting easier and easier.
And last but not least, I see everything I want coming into fruition: home renovations, marriage equality, $$$$, more traveling, more appreciation, more gratitude, and so much happiness I wonder if I can take it all.
Gratitude 2008
So much happened this year. In a nutshell, here is what I am most grateful for:
Love. Family & Friends. Regine, Sinclaire,& Max! Linda Villarosa telling me to start blogging. Blogging. Blogger Initiative Summitt. Mike Rogers. Serena Freewomyn. Rod 2.0. Curve. Cathy Renna. Joy. Arts & Crafts. Kept me sane throughout the year. Deux Dames. Faith. Employment. Ruth's Chris. Printworks Bistro. The Greensboro Symphony. Writing. Deux Dames. Eclectic By Nature. The Gay Marriage Thing. Citi Cards. Leaving Citi Cards. Smarthinking.com. Village Tavern. Wilmington, NC. Secret getaways. Open Door Ministries. Queercents. Hope. The Secret. The Oak. Laughing babies. AND DREAMS.
I would've never guessed that this year would have gone like it did. But I wouldn't change one bit of it. I appreciate every bump, ditch, valley, and mountain. 2009 here I come.
Love. Family & Friends. Regine, Sinclaire,& Max! Linda Villarosa telling me to start blogging. Blogging. Blogger Initiative Summitt. Mike Rogers. Serena Freewomyn. Rod 2.0. Curve. Cathy Renna. Joy. Arts & Crafts. Kept me sane throughout the year. Deux Dames. Faith. Employment. Ruth's Chris. Printworks Bistro. The Greensboro Symphony. Writing. Deux Dames. Eclectic By Nature. The Gay Marriage Thing. Citi Cards. Leaving Citi Cards. Smarthinking.com. Village Tavern. Wilmington, NC. Secret getaways. Open Door Ministries. Queercents. Hope. The Secret. The Oak. Laughing babies. AND DREAMS.
I would've never guessed that this year would have gone like it did. But I wouldn't change one bit of it. I appreciate every bump, ditch, valley, and mountain. 2009 here I come.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Respect My Relationship
My momma made me go to a funeral with her on Saturday. I totally didn't want to go. I can remember a time when all of the family members I had grown up with were all alive. I remember thinking, "I am so blessed I haven't experienced that loss yet." My great-grandmother passed away my first month in college. My aunt passed right after I graduated from college. My grandma's brother that Christmas and then my grandfather the next summer. 2 weeks after my grandfather, my grandma's other living brother passed away. It was hard. I didn't go to all of those funerals. I couldn't. My mind wouldn't let me. But going to a funeral of someone I didn't know was different.
I just sat there. I wanted to take out a pen and paper and write what I was observing, what I was feeling. But that didn't seem appropriate. I felt like I was spying. The lady behind me sniffled, "I lost my husband 2 years ago. Death is harder when you lose a husband." I looked at the wife. She looked surprisingly ok. I gave the lady behind me a hug--she wasn't okay. Would I be okay if something happened to my love? Would I be that strong? My granny was strong. I can't handle traveling out of town without her so I know I couldn't handle living without her. But if I lost my girlfriend, wouldn't that hurt just as much? Why is it that some married people feel that they have a monopoly on grief?
My mom had only met the deceased one time, but she was so impressed with him and how he treated her. They met while volunteering for McCain/Palin. I watched the DVD playing of him. He was driving his pickup down the middle of the street with ribbons tied to it and a McCain/Palin sign tied to the top. He looked happy. In every picture, he looked with glee. The lady behind me, "He always had a smile." I smiled.
People cried. My momma even cried. Amazingly, not one tear fell from my eyes. I am by nature very sensitive and a cry baby. It was a beautiful scene. Beautiful decorations. He was a logger. There were pine trees being given away at the door, they wanted them planted in his memory. They had a big truck like little kids get for christmas with logs riding up a greenway on his casket. Didn't take pictures, not appropriate. All of the flowers were made out of twigs...more like wreaths instead of flowers. Big red Christmas bows everywhere.
But taking all of this in, I couldn't help but think about Paula over at LezGetReal who lost her partner Debbie earlier this month. I thought about all of the lgbt folk who were in relationships and left there partners behind. And the lack of respect some people give lgbt relationships. Then I thought about my own demise. How would my family support my partner if something happened to me?
That's why this marriage thing is so important. It is almost a given that the relationship of a married couple will be respected. Every now and then you will see a crazy family member pop up and want to control things, but if the person was married they usually defer to the spouse. If the family doesn't respect it...the courts respect it. I just want my relationship respected as well.
I just sat there. I wanted to take out a pen and paper and write what I was observing, what I was feeling. But that didn't seem appropriate. I felt like I was spying. The lady behind me sniffled, "I lost my husband 2 years ago. Death is harder when you lose a husband." I looked at the wife. She looked surprisingly ok. I gave the lady behind me a hug--she wasn't okay. Would I be okay if something happened to my love? Would I be that strong? My granny was strong. I can't handle traveling out of town without her so I know I couldn't handle living without her. But if I lost my girlfriend, wouldn't that hurt just as much? Why is it that some married people feel that they have a monopoly on grief?
My mom had only met the deceased one time, but she was so impressed with him and how he treated her. They met while volunteering for McCain/Palin. I watched the DVD playing of him. He was driving his pickup down the middle of the street with ribbons tied to it and a McCain/Palin sign tied to the top. He looked happy. In every picture, he looked with glee. The lady behind me, "He always had a smile." I smiled.
People cried. My momma even cried. Amazingly, not one tear fell from my eyes. I am by nature very sensitive and a cry baby. It was a beautiful scene. Beautiful decorations. He was a logger. There were pine trees being given away at the door, they wanted them planted in his memory. They had a big truck like little kids get for christmas with logs riding up a greenway on his casket. Didn't take pictures, not appropriate. All of the flowers were made out of twigs...more like wreaths instead of flowers. Big red Christmas bows everywhere.
But taking all of this in, I couldn't help but think about Paula over at LezGetReal who lost her partner Debbie earlier this month. I thought about all of the lgbt folk who were in relationships and left there partners behind. And the lack of respect some people give lgbt relationships. Then I thought about my own demise. How would my family support my partner if something happened to me?
That's why this marriage thing is so important. It is almost a given that the relationship of a married couple will be respected. Every now and then you will see a crazy family member pop up and want to control things, but if the person was married they usually defer to the spouse. If the family doesn't respect it...the courts respect it. I just want my relationship respected as well.
Sandals in the winter.
It is totally inappropriate to wear sandals in the wintertime. Even in Florida.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Here's the thing....
I am tired of reading about Obama and Rick Warren. Everytime I go to a new news site, I say to myself..."I'm not gonna read it." And low and behold, I end up reading someone else's opinion of why Warren should not be a part of the inauguration.
And frankly my dear...here's my $5 input. I read a biography about Rick Warren a couple of years ago. I admired his tenacity. He got his church up off the ground like many other pastors. What concerns me is not what he says about gay people, but how we react to what he says about gay people. How can we want everyone to have a place at the table, but not want everyone to have a place at the table?
Many people have compared homosexuals to pedophilia, incest, and beastiality. Many people believe that deep down in their souls that we are going to hell. And you know what, they are entitled to their belief. No matter how stupid, ignorant, or uneducated they sound they are entitled to it.
Hell, my momma and I am sure many of your parents have thought or said similar things. But that doesn't keep you from loving them. And if given the opportunity to speak at the inauguration, we would be right there by there side.
And frankly my dear...here's my $5 input. I read a biography about Rick Warren a couple of years ago. I admired his tenacity. He got his church up off the ground like many other pastors. What concerns me is not what he says about gay people, but how we react to what he says about gay people. How can we want everyone to have a place at the table, but not want everyone to have a place at the table?
Many people have compared homosexuals to pedophilia, incest, and beastiality. Many people believe that deep down in their souls that we are going to hell. And you know what, they are entitled to their belief. No matter how stupid, ignorant, or uneducated they sound they are entitled to it.
Hell, my momma and I am sure many of your parents have thought or said similar things. But that doesn't keep you from loving them. And if given the opportunity to speak at the inauguration, we would be right there by there side.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
my addiction
The one thing I like most about the holidays is my granny's cooking. I am priming myself for that trip to Florida. But these are a few treats that I like all year round. I really am addicted.
Reese's...it's a shame how much I love these.
I'm a peanut butter freak, so they actually have one with peanut butter in the rice krispies, covered in chocolate. This is from Kilwins, a little ice cream shop in Wilmington, NC. ***This is a rice krispie treat on a stick***
Chocolate Fetish is my favorite chocolate spot. This little truffle actually has cayenne pepper sprinkled on top.
Dragons kiss is sold at Chocolate Fetish too. I think this one has wasabi in it, oh well...it was delicious anyway. They are in Asheville, NC...the lesbian mecca of the east coast. They call it the San Francisco of the south. Basically, it is very LGBT friendly!
Reese's...it's a shame how much I love these.
I'm a peanut butter freak, so they actually have one with peanut butter in the rice krispies, covered in chocolate. This is from Kilwins, a little ice cream shop in Wilmington, NC. ***This is a rice krispie treat on a stick***
Chocolate Fetish is my favorite chocolate spot. This little truffle actually has cayenne pepper sprinkled on top.
Dragons kiss is sold at Chocolate Fetish too. I think this one has wasabi in it, oh well...it was delicious anyway. They are in Asheville, NC...the lesbian mecca of the east coast. They call it the San Francisco of the south. Basically, it is very LGBT friendly!
modern day slavery
Totally inappropriate to work for $4 an hour! Servers deserve so much more, base pay has to go up, people just don't tip like they are supposed too. Totally inappropriate!
Saturday, December 20, 2008
No More Drama
Yeah, Mary J Blige. I love her. If you look at her career, it's been a ride. If she hadn't told us what she was going through, we probably wouldn't have ever known. I was thinking, wow she has truly grown up. I mean she says she had some toxic people around her and toxic behaviors abounded. She eliminitated the toxins from her life and look at her now. I mean she probably still has issues right? Everyone does.
But what is important is how she looks at her life now. She's happy for the little things and the big things.
So that's basically what I have been doing through the gratitude posts: eliminating toxins from my life. If you look at this blog in the beginning until now...I have grown. You may not be able to see that, but I have. Trying to figure out what to write about is one thing, but dealing with other people's emotions is quite another. So I had to let some people go and realize that it's not always about me!
When people say silly s&*t it is about them and their insecurities. People who have issues with gay marriage have an issue with their marriage or the lack thereof. When your parents nag you about your life or your friends criticize it's because they don't like what is going on with them. I was sitting here reading other people's blogs and realized that we are all going through the same sh*t...and for what? Like my family always had something to say about my hair. Why? Because there hair wasn't as long as mine, as thick as mine, and they wanted hair just like mine in it's relaxed state. But I am cool without a relaxer, so I will remain natural.
Our emotions can only be toyed with if we allow it. I am tired of playing games and feeding into other people's insecurities. Screw 'em. If somebody doesn't like what you do or say, Screw 'em. If they don't like who you are sleeping with this week, screw them too! If your life doesn't fit there little playbook...tell em ... that's right screw you...I really want to say the F word...but I am trying to eliminate it from my vocabulary.
2008 is coming to an end and it is high time to decide to live your life for you. Stop getting caught up in this everyday drama from the outside sources (news, other people, etc.). Have you made your "easy life" to-do list for 2009-2013, not a resolution...they never get done, but how about a 4 year plan?
But what is important is how she looks at her life now. She's happy for the little things and the big things.
So that's basically what I have been doing through the gratitude posts: eliminating toxins from my life. If you look at this blog in the beginning until now...I have grown. You may not be able to see that, but I have. Trying to figure out what to write about is one thing, but dealing with other people's emotions is quite another. So I had to let some people go and realize that it's not always about me!
When people say silly s&*t it is about them and their insecurities. People who have issues with gay marriage have an issue with their marriage or the lack thereof. When your parents nag you about your life or your friends criticize it's because they don't like what is going on with them. I was sitting here reading other people's blogs and realized that we are all going through the same sh*t...and for what? Like my family always had something to say about my hair. Why? Because there hair wasn't as long as mine, as thick as mine, and they wanted hair just like mine in it's relaxed state. But I am cool without a relaxer, so I will remain natural.
Our emotions can only be toyed with if we allow it. I am tired of playing games and feeding into other people's insecurities. Screw 'em. If somebody doesn't like what you do or say, Screw 'em. If they don't like who you are sleeping with this week, screw them too! If your life doesn't fit there little playbook...tell em ... that's right screw you...I really want to say the F word...but I am trying to eliminate it from my vocabulary.
2008 is coming to an end and it is high time to decide to live your life for you. Stop getting caught up in this everyday drama from the outside sources (news, other people, etc.). Have you made your "easy life" to-do list for 2009-2013, not a resolution...they never get done, but how about a 4 year plan?
Friday, December 19, 2008
If Money Is No Object
I have the perfect gift website for you all. Gifts.com, I mean it is a gem. I absolutely adore it! I mean really. You can browse by age, sex, interests and they even have a gifts personality quiz. You answer a few questions and voila, up pop at least 50 gift ideas. And they were good gifts too! I can actually say, everything that came up on my list (Classic Achiever), I absolutely adored. No more fashion jewelry hanging organizers from Dollar Tree for me. (Yes I actually got that one year.)
So here are my top 3 things from that website that I would absolutely love to have:
Stocks: A Share of Coach? It’s less than a $100, quick delivery, and it comes in a niiiice frame. No? I’ll take a share of Hershey or even Krispey Kreme. Start my investment portfolio off right!
Monogrammed umbrella: my initials are TNB, I like Edwardian Script font. I’m not sure if that is available, but something similar is acceptable. My umbrellas always break or get lost somewhere in umbrella land. I promise this one won’t get broken or lost. I will take really good care of it.
Wine Club of the Month: I am a beginner, but this is something I will really appreciate! A nice Riesling anyone?
A girl can dream can't she?!
Cross-posted at Tamara Nichelle 12/8/08
So here are my top 3 things from that website that I would absolutely love to have:
Stocks: A Share of Coach? It’s less than a $100, quick delivery, and it comes in a niiiice frame. No? I’ll take a share of Hershey or even Krispey Kreme. Start my investment portfolio off right!
Monogrammed umbrella: my initials are TNB, I like Edwardian Script font. I’m not sure if that is available, but something similar is acceptable. My umbrellas always break or get lost somewhere in umbrella land. I promise this one won’t get broken or lost. I will take really good care of it.
Wine Club of the Month: I am a beginner, but this is something I will really appreciate! A nice Riesling anyone?
A girl can dream can't she?!
Cross-posted at Tamara Nichelle 12/8/08
Holidays
This time I am not complaining about not spending Christmas with my love. She will be here and I will be in Florida with my immediate family. I haven't seen my family in over a year, so it is high time I get my arse home. I spoke with my granny the other day and told her I was coming, she was soooo thrilled. I then realized my momma hadn't told anyone so it might be a surprise. I swore granny to secrecy and didn't mention it to anyone else. The only problem is, I don't know how I am getting from the airport. LOL. I am sure we will have that figured out by then.
The only reason I am not as sad is we will spend Christmas Eve together (I will only be gone from then until Monday), plus we realized we aren't the only ones trying to make the decision of with whose family to spend the holidays. It's a classic issue for all couples, that I have seen played out many ways.
We are thinking of just going on vacation from now on. I like the idea of spending the holidays somewhere new, fun, and with little to no stress. For New Years Eve, we have sort of a tradition, we either go to Night Watch services or we watch movies and order pizza. Either way we have a good time. One year we went to New York City and attended a show at Lipz. It was great cabaret performances from all and a drink made by Frankie that sat me on my a**. That was my first trip to the city and I can't wait to get back. We haven't even decided about New Years yet.
The only reason I am not as sad is we will spend Christmas Eve together (I will only be gone from then until Monday), plus we realized we aren't the only ones trying to make the decision of with whose family to spend the holidays. It's a classic issue for all couples, that I have seen played out many ways.
We are thinking of just going on vacation from now on. I like the idea of spending the holidays somewhere new, fun, and with little to no stress. For New Years Eve, we have sort of a tradition, we either go to Night Watch services or we watch movies and order pizza. Either way we have a good time. One year we went to New York City and attended a show at Lipz. It was great cabaret performances from all and a drink made by Frankie that sat me on my a**. That was my first trip to the city and I can't wait to get back. We haven't even decided about New Years yet.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
LGBT Blogger Conference Day 3
The last day of the conference was really good. I didn't get to stay for the whole thing because my flight left early. I got to speak with Cathy Renna of Renna Communications (really really nice and great information). I kind of bounced from session to session trying to get a feel for everything before I left. This day was really about how to brand your blog, brand yourself, being appropriate for the media and making money from your blog. That's right making money from your blog. That was the session I missed altogether. But there is a book: BlogWild! A Guide for Small Business Blogging by Andy Wibbels.
Here are the other bloggers that were at the conference. I have most of them on my blogroll, but there are a few that I missed.
•BlogActive - Michael Rogers - http://www.pageoneq.com/ , http://www.blogactive.com/
•Boi From Troy - Scott Schmidt - http://www.boifromtroy.com
•Blabbeando - Andrés Duque - http://blabbeando.blogspot.com
•Burnt Orange Report - Karl-Thomas Muselman - http://www.burntorangereport.com
•Calitics - Brian Leubitz - http://calitics.com
•Dykes + Fags: Music by queers for queers - http://ninjatronics.blogspot.com
•(en)gender - Helen Boyd - http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/
•Existential Punk - Musings, Thoughts, Rants of Existential Punk - Adele Sakler - http://www.existentialpunk.com/
•GayAgenda - James Hipps - http://www.GayAgenda.com
•Gay Persons of Color - James Viloria - http://gay-persons-of-color.blogspot.com/
•Get Busy. Get Equal. - Sam Ritchie (ACLU LGBT Project) -http://gbge.aclu.org/content/blogsection/1/76/
•GoodAsYou - Jeremy Hooper - http://www.goodasyou.org
•Greta Christina's Blog - Greta Christina - http://gretachristina.typepad.com/
•hunter of justice - Nan Hunter - http://hunterforjustice.typepad.com/hunter_of_justice/
•InterstateQ.com - Matt Comer - http://www.interstateq.com/
•JoeMyGod - Joe Jervis - http://www.JoeMyGod.com/
•KnuckleCrack - Eric Leven - http://www.knucklecrack.blogspot.com
•Michael-in-Norfolk-Coming Out in Mid-Life - Michael Hamar - http://michael-in-norfolk.blogspot.com/
•Mombian - Dana Rudolph - http://www.mombian.com/
•Nathan Strang - Buffawhat - http://buffawhat.com
•Pam's House Blend - Pam Spaulding - http://www.pamshouseblend.com
•Pittsburgh Lesbian Correspondents - Sue Kerr - http://www.pghlesbian.com
•Project Q Atlanta - Matt Hennie - http://www.projectqatlanta.com/
•Rod 2.0 - Rod McCullom - http://www.rod20.com
•The Bilerico Project - http://www.bilerico.com
•The Mad Professah Lectures - Ron Buckmire - http://buckmire.blogspot.com/
•The New Gay - Michael Eichler - http://www.thenewgay.net
•The New Gay - Zack Rosen - http://www.thenewgay.net
•UK Gay News - Andy Harley - http://www.ukgaynews.org.uk
•Working Films - Lynn Casper - http://workingfilms.org
Check em out!
Here are the other bloggers that were at the conference. I have most of them on my blogroll, but there are a few that I missed.
•BlogActive - Michael Rogers - http://www.pageoneq.com/ , http://www.blogactive.com/
•Boi From Troy - Scott Schmidt - http://www.boifromtroy.com
•Blabbeando - Andrés Duque - http://blabbeando.blogspot.com
•Burnt Orange Report - Karl-Thomas Muselman - http://www.burntorangereport.com
•Calitics - Brian Leubitz - http://calitics.com
•Dykes + Fags: Music by queers for queers - http://ninjatronics.blogspot.com
•(en)gender - Helen Boyd - http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/
•Existential Punk - Musings, Thoughts, Rants of Existential Punk - Adele Sakler - http://www.existentialpunk.com/
•GayAgenda - James Hipps - http://www.GayAgenda.com
•Gay Persons of Color - James Viloria - http://gay-persons-of-color.blogspot.com/
•Get Busy. Get Equal. - Sam Ritchie (ACLU LGBT Project) -http://gbge.aclu.org/content/blogsection/1/76/
•GoodAsYou - Jeremy Hooper - http://www.goodasyou.org
•Greta Christina's Blog - Greta Christina - http://gretachristina.typepad.com/
•hunter of justice - Nan Hunter - http://hunterforjustice.typepad.com/hunter_of_justice/
•InterstateQ.com - Matt Comer - http://www.interstateq.com/
•JoeMyGod - Joe Jervis - http://www.JoeMyGod.com/
•KnuckleCrack - Eric Leven - http://www.knucklecrack.blogspot.com
•Michael-in-Norfolk-Coming Out in Mid-Life - Michael Hamar - http://michael-in-norfolk.blogspot.com/
•Mombian - Dana Rudolph - http://www.mombian.com/
•Nathan Strang - Buffawhat - http://buffawhat.com
•Pam's House Blend - Pam Spaulding - http://www.pamshouseblend.com
•Pittsburgh Lesbian Correspondents - Sue Kerr - http://www.pghlesbian.com
•Project Q Atlanta - Matt Hennie - http://www.projectqatlanta.com/
•Rod 2.0 - Rod McCullom - http://www.rod20.com
•The Bilerico Project - http://www.bilerico.com
•The Mad Professah Lectures - Ron Buckmire - http://buckmire.blogspot.com/
•The New Gay - Michael Eichler - http://www.thenewgay.net
•The New Gay - Zack Rosen - http://www.thenewgay.net
•UK Gay News - Andy Harley - http://www.ukgaynews.org.uk
•Working Films - Lynn Casper - http://workingfilms.org
Check em out!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Wow
These past few weeks have gone by so fast. I didn't even realize that I actually hadn't posted since Friday. All the commenting got the best of me.
I've been working on a few things:
My bio. Did you know that it is hard to talk about yourself? I never know what to include.
Helping friends. You know helping people is the best way to make yourself feel better. Cuz you reap what you so. And I found out that the Salvation Army isn't necessarily nice to the LGBT folk. So it is up to us to take care of our own.
Thanking God. I haven't written half of the stuff that is going on with me on this blog. But the tide is turning and everything is so much better. I am going home to visit my family for the holidays. I can't wait. I haven't seen them in over a year. And my round trip ticket was less than $100. (Allegiant Airlines)
Enjoying Life. That's the best. I appreciate you all for reading and commenting. Blogging sprinkles joy in my life. Thanks. Also, I love the Christmas lights and decorations during this time of year.
I've been working on a few things:
My bio. Did you know that it is hard to talk about yourself? I never know what to include.
Helping friends. You know helping people is the best way to make yourself feel better. Cuz you reap what you so. And I found out that the Salvation Army isn't necessarily nice to the LGBT folk. So it is up to us to take care of our own.
Thanking God. I haven't written half of the stuff that is going on with me on this blog. But the tide is turning and everything is so much better. I am going home to visit my family for the holidays. I can't wait. I haven't seen them in over a year. And my round trip ticket was less than $100. (Allegiant Airlines)
Enjoying Life. That's the best. I appreciate you all for reading and commenting. Blogging sprinkles joy in my life. Thanks. Also, I love the Christmas lights and decorations during this time of year.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Gratefulness is flowing from my heart...
There are times in life when you look around and no one is there. When you think that it couldn't possibly get any worse than this. I've been to that time and each day got worse than the last. I didn't know why, what, or how my life could have been turned so upside down in such a short period of time.
I began to seriously pray. I mean praying without ceasing. It didn't get any better. I was really surprised too. I thought prayer changes things. But prayer without faith is in vain. It didn't matter how hard I was praying if I didn't believe that my dreams would be fulfilled. Staying in the closet showed how little faith I actually had in God. I didn't believe that it was really okay to be gay and christian. For so many years, I refused to go to church. I mean really was like what the f* ever.
I was not fully embracing my whole self. I didn't know how to be okay with my love for my girlfriend and okay with my love for God. But now I know, it really isn't that hard. I go through my days thanking God for the opportunity to know genuine love for another human being. I look at her -- stare at her really-- and know that each good day wipes out 10 bad days.
Each time a parent decides to ask one of us to get married to a man makes me appreciate her love that much more. Because let's be real here...parents can be very influential and no one really wants to know life without a loved one. But her love for me and my love for her is so intense, that we are willing to deal with the drama that parents bring. Knowing that we have a greater parent that continues to bless us each and every second of the day makes it that much easier.
I began to seriously pray. I mean praying without ceasing. It didn't get any better. I was really surprised too. I thought prayer changes things. But prayer without faith is in vain. It didn't matter how hard I was praying if I didn't believe that my dreams would be fulfilled. Staying in the closet showed how little faith I actually had in God. I didn't believe that it was really okay to be gay and christian. For so many years, I refused to go to church. I mean really was like what the f* ever.
I was not fully embracing my whole self. I didn't know how to be okay with my love for my girlfriend and okay with my love for God. But now I know, it really isn't that hard. I go through my days thanking God for the opportunity to know genuine love for another human being. I look at her -- stare at her really-- and know that each good day wipes out 10 bad days.
Each time a parent decides to ask one of us to get married to a man makes me appreciate her love that much more. Because let's be real here...parents can be very influential and no one really wants to know life without a loved one. But her love for me and my love for her is so intense, that we are willing to deal with the drama that parents bring. Knowing that we have a greater parent that continues to bless us each and every second of the day makes it that much easier.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
I love my momma...
All of us want good relationships. I have mentioned on here that I started focusing on what I like about my relationship with my mom. I think this is important so that the good outshines the things we dislike. Think about a person in your life who may get on your nerves and focus on the positive things they possess. It's just my belief that if you look for the good in people, you will find it.
So here are a few things that I absolutely adore about my mother:
She is a go-getter. Anytime she thinks that she wants to do something, she does it. she doesn't wait for permission, or make excuses why it can't happen. She is fearless in that way.
She is creative. She has sewn clothes, barrettes, blankets, curtains, re upholstered furniture, paints, writes poetry, books, and a whole bunch of other stuff.
She is not shy. My momma will dance anywhere. She will talk to anybody. She is usually the life of the party. I'm not quite there yet--when you get to know me, yes...but I am still the shy one.
So here are a few things that I absolutely adore about my mother:
She is a go-getter. Anytime she thinks that she wants to do something, she does it. she doesn't wait for permission, or make excuses why it can't happen. She is fearless in that way.
She is creative. She has sewn clothes, barrettes, blankets, curtains, re upholstered furniture, paints, writes poetry, books, and a whole bunch of other stuff.
She is not shy. My momma will dance anywhere. She will talk to anybody. She is usually the life of the party. I'm not quite there yet--when you get to know me, yes...but I am still the shy one.
well, well, well
I have had a great week friends. I had the best experience ever at the bank nonetheless. The teller asked me to come back so I could sign the article i wrote in Curve. Can you believe that? I was like, sure...no problem! I beamed the rest of the way out of the bank.
It's raining cats and dogs here, since I haven't looked at the news, I have absolutely no reason why we keep getting these flash flood warnings.
My little cousin is borrowing my computer for school but now I can't get in touch with him. so I am at the library and can you believe they only give you the option of 15 minutes. Gotta go...mine is up!
It's raining cats and dogs here, since I haven't looked at the news, I have absolutely no reason why we keep getting these flash flood warnings.
My little cousin is borrowing my computer for school but now I can't get in touch with him. so I am at the library and can you believe they only give you the option of 15 minutes. Gotta go...mine is up!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Christmas Gifts
I know my girlfriend reads this blog, but hey, I surprise her all the time right in her face LOL. So what I am looking for are free Christmas Gift suggestions. I usually do something real elaborate for the holidays, but not this year. So do any of you have any suggestions? I am not really looking for an item, but I am looking at doing something.
Friends don't let friends attack innocent people...
I was talking to one of my best friends who recently returned from a year long teaching gig in South Korea. She had a really great time and we were discussing how common it was for girls to walk arm in arm with girls and guys to walk arm in arm with guys and they weren't gay. It was just something they did, it was apart of their culture and very normal.
She now works with students here in the states and when they come over they are met with culture shock so to speak, that people look at them weird for doing this. She said it isn't uncommon for her students to ask her why Americans act like that. It's weird how even though they didn't grow up here, they know that it is unacceptable behavior to simply hold hands or walk arm in arm with someone of the same gender.
This is what occurred to me when I read an article about two Ecuadoran brothers who were attacked in an apparent hate crime. On their way home from a church party, they stopped off at a local bar and then went on their way. But they couldn't even make it home without being accosted.
In general, I am not a violent person. You know that whole "Thou shall not kill" thing I take pretty seriously. But with groups talking about their not being a need for hate crime legislation, it really infuriates me. This is unacceptable. A man lost his life. How much longer can people go along with this anti-gay movement?
She now works with students here in the states and when they come over they are met with culture shock so to speak, that people look at them weird for doing this. She said it isn't uncommon for her students to ask her why Americans act like that. It's weird how even though they didn't grow up here, they know that it is unacceptable behavior to simply hold hands or walk arm in arm with someone of the same gender.
This is what occurred to me when I read an article about two Ecuadoran brothers who were attacked in an apparent hate crime. On their way home from a church party, they stopped off at a local bar and then went on their way. But they couldn't even make it home without being accosted.
Three men came out of the car shouting at the brothers, Jose and Romel Sucuzhanay — something ugly, anti-gay and anti-Latino. Vulgarisms against Hispanics and gay men were heard by witnesses, the police said. One man approached Jose Sucuzhanay, 31, the owner of a real estate agency who has been in New York a decade, and broke a beer bottle over the back of his head. He went down hard.
Romel Sucuzhanay, 38, who is visiting from Ecuador on a two-month visa, bounded over a parked car and ran as the man with the broken bottle came at him. A distance away, he looked back and saw a second assailant beating his prone brother with an aluminum baseball bat, striking him repeatedly on the head and body. The man with the broken bottle turned back and joined the beating and kicking.
In general, I am not a violent person. You know that whole "Thou shall not kill" thing I take pretty seriously. But with groups talking about their not being a need for hate crime legislation, it really infuriates me. This is unacceptable. A man lost his life. How much longer can people go along with this anti-gay movement?
An attack on love...
Some people find it hard to believe that I am and have no problem with religion/sexuality and that I actually call myself a christian.
Here's the thing: If I believe that 1. I am a child of God, 2. He knew me before I knew myself, and 3. That God created me in his image then I must believe that 1. I am loved, 2. This is no surprise to him, and 3. I am not the abomination that others try to make me out to be.
I believe that it is our responsibility to practice loving. God loved us so much that he gave his son's life for us. (This is what I believe, whatever your religion I am sure there is a similar ideology). In return, we should continue to pay that love forward. Love.
An attack on gay marriage is an attack on love. Shouldn't we want love in our society? Wouldn't love make our society better? Relationships stronger? Whether it is big love or small love, shouldn't we be encouraging healthy loving relationships in all of its forms--especially between consenting adults?
Wouldn't that make for a stronger America?
Maybe we should eliminate marriages all together. It isn't creating the desired results. It doesn't keep a relationship or family unit together. What it does is give people who get married, special rights (tax breaks, visitation rights, etc). Marriage doesn't create a family....it manages families.
As a matter of fact, marriage is not even talked about in the bible as a necessity. Let me hush, I do not think you all are ready for that conversation yet.
New campaign: No on Marriage, Yes on Love?
Yeah, I said it, now what?
Here's the thing: If I believe that 1. I am a child of God, 2. He knew me before I knew myself, and 3. That God created me in his image then I must believe that 1. I am loved, 2. This is no surprise to him, and 3. I am not the abomination that others try to make me out to be.
I believe that it is our responsibility to practice loving. God loved us so much that he gave his son's life for us. (This is what I believe, whatever your religion I am sure there is a similar ideology). In return, we should continue to pay that love forward. Love.
An attack on gay marriage is an attack on love. Shouldn't we want love in our society? Wouldn't love make our society better? Relationships stronger? Whether it is big love or small love, shouldn't we be encouraging healthy loving relationships in all of its forms--especially between consenting adults?
Wouldn't that make for a stronger America?
Maybe we should eliminate marriages all together. It isn't creating the desired results. It doesn't keep a relationship or family unit together. What it does is give people who get married, special rights (tax breaks, visitation rights, etc). Marriage doesn't create a family....it manages families.
As a matter of fact, marriage is not even talked about in the bible as a necessity. Let me hush, I do not think you all are ready for that conversation yet.
New campaign: No on Marriage, Yes on Love?
Yeah, I said it, now what?
LGBT Blogger Conference Day 2
Day 2 of the blogger conference started out talking about blogger activism, how the Prop 8 and Amendment 2 (Florida) campaigns were managed online, and then I participated in a diversity on the web workshop and how to become a citizen journalist. This was great for me since I do want to make writing a career and I learned a lot about how people think, motivating factors, and really just how much religion and diversity dominate the discussion around homosexuality.
What I learned:
People want to be heard.
It is time to stop operating in fear.
Black folk don't have a monopoly on diversity.
There are many different viewpoints in the LGBT community.
Attacking religion is not a good defense when discussing LGBT issues.
Language is key in communication. (In school they called it word choice)
There is room at the table for different voices. It's time for us to sit down.
It is important to take responsibility for your own actions. Stop the blame game.
There are many ways to do something, some lead to more positive results than others.
It was a great day. I saw so many people needing and wanting to express their love, it's just built up inside ready to burst open on humanity.
What I learned:
People want to be heard.
It is time to stop operating in fear.
Black folk don't have a monopoly on diversity.
There are many different viewpoints in the LGBT community.
Attacking religion is not a good defense when discussing LGBT issues.
Language is key in communication. (In school they called it word choice)
There is room at the table for different voices. It's time for us to sit down.
It is important to take responsibility for your own actions. Stop the blame game.
There are many ways to do something, some lead to more positive results than others.
It was a great day. I saw so many people needing and wanting to express their love, it's just built up inside ready to burst open on humanity.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Straight and Narrow
I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired. It's like parents get together and have a secret meeting when they suspect their child of being gay. They have a script:
"I want grandchildren." (That's nice.)
"You've changed. You're just so different." (I have changed. I grew the hell up.) *LOL
"When are you going to give me some grandchildren?" (When are you going to give me $1 million?)
"You should get married." (You should have voted no on Prop 8 and maybe that would have occurred.)
"I want you to be happy. You don't seem happy." (I'm not because you are bugging the hell out of me.)
"You need a man." ( You need a man, so you can stay the hell out of my bedroom.)
"I just want what's best for you." ( I just want you to know that you don't get to decide what's best for me.)
I mean I just don't get it anymore. I am (and many of you are to) too old for this line of questioning. Alot of you are over the age of 18 and well on your own or making moves to get there, right? What happened to, "When you get out of my house, you can do anything you want to do with your life." When did parents decide that they wanted to continue to control their kids lives post high school and college? In the words of Major Payne, "Pop your ti-ttie out his mouth" and let people do them.
Growing up, we did not question our parents actions. No, we let them make decision upon decision without questioning them. Plus if we had, we might have gotten slapped. Now I know we can't slap our parents...well we could, but I wouldn't advise it, but there has to be a level of respect on both sides so that we can live our life the way we want to live it. Acceptance is one thing. Disrespect is another. How would you handle your parents constantly nagging you about these issues, when you have made it clear that it is 1) none of their damn business and 2) it ain't happening.
"I want grandchildren." (That's nice.)
"You've changed. You're just so different." (I have changed. I grew the hell up.) *LOL
"When are you going to give me some grandchildren?" (When are you going to give me $1 million?)
"You should get married." (You should have voted no on Prop 8 and maybe that would have occurred.)
"I want you to be happy. You don't seem happy." (I'm not because you are bugging the hell out of me.)
"You need a man." ( You need a man, so you can stay the hell out of my bedroom.)
"I just want what's best for you." ( I just want you to know that you don't get to decide what's best for me.)
I mean I just don't get it anymore. I am (and many of you are to) too old for this line of questioning. Alot of you are over the age of 18 and well on your own or making moves to get there, right? What happened to, "When you get out of my house, you can do anything you want to do with your life." When did parents decide that they wanted to continue to control their kids lives post high school and college? In the words of Major Payne, "Pop your ti-ttie out his mouth" and let people do them.
Growing up, we did not question our parents actions. No, we let them make decision upon decision without questioning them. Plus if we had, we might have gotten slapped. Now I know we can't slap our parents...well we could, but I wouldn't advise it, but there has to be a level of respect on both sides so that we can live our life the way we want to live it. Acceptance is one thing. Disrespect is another. How would you handle your parents constantly nagging you about these issues, when you have made it clear that it is 1) none of their damn business and 2) it ain't happening.
The Gay Marriage Thing Part II
Marriage, Prop 8, Gay Marriage. Even though I am writing about it, and it is one topic that is seriously overdone, it didn't keep me from looking at the movie of the same title. It took me awhile to get the funds together (yes, $2 was that hard for me to come by) but it was well worth it!
"THE GAY MARRIAGE THING tells the stories behind the signs. Stories lived by people on both sides of the marriage debate. I chose quite deliberately to speak with people who did not agree with my life, let alone my opinion. People ask me if this was difficult. My answer is always a resounding yes. But that’s the point. True discussion and communication is often difficult. It is easy to ignore your opposer’s humanity while they ignore yours. It is less work to scream and shout than to take the time to find the right words to speak in a civil manner. It is less frightening to cover your ears and avoid hearing another’s story." (source: Stephanie Higgins)
That statement literally sent chills up and down my arms. This truth is so profound and and a foundation for engaging one another in true communication.
Check out the trailer:
That statement literally sent chills up and down my arms. This truth is so profound and and a foundation for engaging one another in true communication.
Check out the trailer:
I think this is a good time to add, although my mom and I have very different views on my life, I still love her and she still loves me. I guess she just won't be helping me to pick out my wedding dress. Oh well....naw let me take that back. Everyone is a critic, so I am sure she will have something to say about that too.
Hi Honey, I'm home...
Friends, Family, Countrymen...
Even though my day was full of mad dashes, delayed luggage, and irritating people I am re-energized and renewed with purpose.
More now than ever I feel the need to talk about my experiences, give my opinion on anything, and help others wherever I can. I have a lot of posts that I need to get out, and in no particular order, I just have to write. When you have this much stuff going on in your head, how do you get it all out, without losing some of the particulars? I will try my best to be fair, honest, and direct. I didn't get to go to church this weekend, but I hope you check out Ladybug Smile. She put on a sermon over there for sure. Have a great week!
Even though my day was full of mad dashes, delayed luggage, and irritating people I am re-energized and renewed with purpose.
More now than ever I feel the need to talk about my experiences, give my opinion on anything, and help others wherever I can. I have a lot of posts that I need to get out, and in no particular order, I just have to write. When you have this much stuff going on in your head, how do you get it all out, without losing some of the particulars? I will try my best to be fair, honest, and direct. I didn't get to go to church this weekend, but I hope you check out Ladybug Smile. She put on a sermon over there for sure. Have a great week!
Saturday, December 6, 2008
I'm pissed....
So, I have been all positive, 'i love the hilton garden inn' 'it's my favorite hotel' and all that jazz. And it still is my favorite hotel but there internet service provider will not allow me to view webpages with the word lesbian on it...ABG that means i definitely couldn't read a blog with "orgasm" in the title.
i sent two messages to the "site kiosk team"...i am sure they will take a look at it.
This sucks. All of these great websites that I would love to take a look at, will have to be put off until monday when i get home: bilerico.com, projectqatlanta, check them out and let me know if you like them. this is crazy. i am surprised I can even get on my own blog.
i sent two messages to the "site kiosk team"...i am sure they will take a look at it.
This sucks. All of these great websites that I would love to take a look at, will have to be put off until monday when i get home: bilerico.com, projectqatlanta, check them out and let me know if you like them. this is crazy. i am surprised I can even get on my own blog.
LGBT Blogger Conference Day 1
I am in DC at the National LGBT Blogger & Citizen Journalist Initiative. It is an orgy of sorts. All of these LGBT people descending on the nations capital is a pure site...I have met a lot of great people and hopefully, we will keep in touch. I must preface this by saying, I didn't go in with any expectations. I just wanted to see what it was about, how I could become apart of something bigger, learn best practices etc.
What I Learned (so far):
As one of 3 black lesbians in the room; race is an issue. Someone here said, "You have to brand yourself. If you don't do the branding, other people will do the branding for you." I know this a very diverse audience and I just have to let you know, what you aren't saying about yourself, others are willing to make up and push it along.
The stereotypes that float throughout the country do not fall on deaf ears. At one of the sessions, a young woman brought up that she believed the black vote is what put prop 8 over and that the LGBT community needed to "educate" african-americans about the issues. I will just let that resonate with you. And know that comment did not go un-checked. It is time for us to get in the game....for real.
MILK
So last night I got to see the movie that is sweeping the nation. The acting was phenomenal. Sean Penn was to Harvey Milk as Denzel Washington was to Malcolm X. I will be honest and say, I didn't want to see the movie. I thought, let me go find out more about Harvey Milk. All I really knew was that he was gay, an activist, and a politician. I didn't know anything else about him. The movie was 2 hours long. For a better part of the movie, I was unaffected. I didn't see me or people like me, basically, I couldn't relate. Grant it, he was gay, but the similarities pretty much ended there. Even being an out lesbian, I have not had to endure all that Harvey Milk or the other men have to endure. Really, being gay, in my mind is a male thing--that's even how it was portrayed in the movie. You saw a few women and people of color, but it was not the regular.
I'm gay, but I'm not gay. Does this make sense? The discourse surrounding homosexuality, the gay lifestyle, and gay marriage is overwhelmingly male and white. The black discourse around homosexuality is male and "downlow". Am I missing something? Sometimes I have felt like I don't fit into the broader gay community. This is totally off topic from where the post was supposed to go, but I gotta go where the writing takes me. I think part of this comes from the stereotypes about the community, that make some of us say, "no, that's not me". Say what you will on the topic, I would love to hear your thoughts.
Anyway, Harvey Milk was the first and only lgbt elected official to be assassinated *knock on wood. Now this heartwrenching experience did resonate with me. Harvey Milk was resilient, tenacious, and for the people. Much like some other activists he knew he was doing what he had to do, and it was for the people, by any means necessary. I admire him for that. His work literally helped California be the mecca that it is today. I wanted to move there for the scenery, but when I found out about the protections LGBT people had in the workplace, it definitely made it more appealing.
But that is how I came out of yesterday's session feeling...I will post the rest tomorrow or later this week. ciao.
What I Learned (so far):
As one of 3 black lesbians in the room; race is an issue. Someone here said, "You have to brand yourself. If you don't do the branding, other people will do the branding for you." I know this a very diverse audience and I just have to let you know, what you aren't saying about yourself, others are willing to make up and push it along.
The stereotypes that float throughout the country do not fall on deaf ears. At one of the sessions, a young woman brought up that she believed the black vote is what put prop 8 over and that the LGBT community needed to "educate" african-americans about the issues. I will just let that resonate with you. And know that comment did not go un-checked. It is time for us to get in the game....for real.
MILK
So last night I got to see the movie that is sweeping the nation. The acting was phenomenal. Sean Penn was to Harvey Milk as Denzel Washington was to Malcolm X. I will be honest and say, I didn't want to see the movie. I thought, let me go find out more about Harvey Milk. All I really knew was that he was gay, an activist, and a politician. I didn't know anything else about him. The movie was 2 hours long. For a better part of the movie, I was unaffected. I didn't see me or people like me, basically, I couldn't relate. Grant it, he was gay, but the similarities pretty much ended there. Even being an out lesbian, I have not had to endure all that Harvey Milk or the other men have to endure. Really, being gay, in my mind is a male thing--that's even how it was portrayed in the movie. You saw a few women and people of color, but it was not the regular.
I'm gay, but I'm not gay. Does this make sense? The discourse surrounding homosexuality, the gay lifestyle, and gay marriage is overwhelmingly male and white. The black discourse around homosexuality is male and "downlow". Am I missing something? Sometimes I have felt like I don't fit into the broader gay community. This is totally off topic from where the post was supposed to go, but I gotta go where the writing takes me. I think part of this comes from the stereotypes about the community, that make some of us say, "no, that's not me". Say what you will on the topic, I would love to hear your thoughts.
Anyway, Harvey Milk was the first and only lgbt elected official to be assassinated *knock on wood. Now this heartwrenching experience did resonate with me. Harvey Milk was resilient, tenacious, and for the people. Much like some other activists he knew he was doing what he had to do, and it was for the people, by any means necessary. I admire him for that. His work literally helped California be the mecca that it is today. I wanted to move there for the scenery, but when I found out about the protections LGBT people had in the workplace, it definitely made it more appealing.
But that is how I came out of yesterday's session feeling...I will post the rest tomorrow or later this week. ciao.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Gratefulness Part II
I made my way through the airport and subway with ease.
My bags arrived right along with me.
I didn't cry....
I didn't, instead I smiled.
Thinking about "the kiss"
The one that said, " I know you are only going to be gone for a couple of days, but I will miss you and this is what you are coming home too."
I smiled.
The business center here at the hotel is the bomb. So I will be able to complete the work I need to get done this weekend...and best of all, blog in what free time I do have, which isn't much.
I am so freakin' grateful.
My bags arrived right along with me.
I didn't cry....
I didn't, instead I smiled.
Thinking about "the kiss"
The one that said, " I know you are only going to be gone for a couple of days, but I will miss you and this is what you are coming home too."
I smiled.
The business center here at the hotel is the bomb. So I will be able to complete the work I need to get done this weekend...and best of all, blog in what free time I do have, which isn't much.
I am so freakin' grateful.
Gratefulness
I am so grateful that:
I have the opportunity to work from home doing something that I'm competent doing.
I have the opportunity to learn more bout blogging and my role
in the blogosphere.
I am staying at my favorite hotel.
A digital camera just popped up. Thank you Lord.
The new website is going to be very beautiful.
I have love.
She comforts me and makes me sane.
I have the opportunity to work from home doing something that I'm competent doing.
I have the opportunity to learn more bout blogging and my role
in the blogosphere.
I am staying at my favorite hotel.
A digital camera just popped up. Thank you Lord.
The new website is going to be very beautiful.
I have love.
She comforts me and makes me sane.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Busy & Stressed
It has been a long time since I felt stressed about work. You know that stress when you have so much to do, deadlines to meet, and so little time to do it in. Today was the first time I had to deal with that type of stress in at least what 2 years...since that old job I told you all about. So to de-stress, I decided to not do anything today.
I took out my handy dandy calendar, made a priority list and straight relaxed. We watched a movie, played games on the computer, talked and spent time with each other. Because I won't be home this weekend, it is extremely important that we get that quality time in before I leave.
I had to remember that I can't be everything to everybody and I am not superwoman. I used to try to be...not anymore. I had to look realistically at my day and figure out what I could and am willing to accomplish. Spending time with the love of my life was one of them.
I took out my handy dandy calendar, made a priority list and straight relaxed. We watched a movie, played games on the computer, talked and spent time with each other. Because I won't be home this weekend, it is extremely important that we get that quality time in before I leave.
I had to remember that I can't be everything to everybody and I am not superwoman. I used to try to be...not anymore. I had to look realistically at my day and figure out what I could and am willing to accomplish. Spending time with the love of my life was one of them.
Cooking Adventures
Well we cooked dinner; fried fish and homemade onion rings. We've been cooking a lot lately. It was really good too, but let me tell you how it went down...
1st I was using beer batter without beer...instead I used old bay seasoning and water....it did the trick
We did the onion rings first, they turned out nice and crispy.
While she made the tartar sauce (which she added a dash of Worcester sauce to because we were running out of relish) I started cooking the fish.
Tell me why the fish sank right to the bottom of the pan and proceeded to stick. The first and last 2 pieces came out fine... The ones in the middle literally fell apart in the pan.
I couldn't do anything but laugh...and stare in disbelief. I have never seen fried fish fall apart in the pan. She said it was because the fish was too wet when I started cooking it....
Oh well, it was still good.
1st I was using beer batter without beer...instead I used old bay seasoning and water....it did the trick
We did the onion rings first, they turned out nice and crispy.
While she made the tartar sauce (which she added a dash of Worcester sauce to because we were running out of relish) I started cooking the fish.
Tell me why the fish sank right to the bottom of the pan and proceeded to stick. The first and last 2 pieces came out fine... The ones in the middle literally fell apart in the pan.
I couldn't do anything but laugh...and stare in disbelief. I have never seen fried fish fall apart in the pan. She said it was because the fish was too wet when I started cooking it....
Oh well, it was still good.
The Gay Marriage Thing, Part 1
On my way home the other night, I got to thinking about marriage again. I remember when I was younger, I didn't want to get married. I didn't see the benefit. My mother was not married to my father, I saw ok--but not great relationships...mostly arguing or the woman doing what the man told her to do. The feminist in me said, "what the F* ever". I vowed to not live my life looking or needing a man.
I was content in going to college to get a degree and create a career, not to find a husband like so many of my other counterparts.
I wanted to own 3 homes: one in Florida, one on an island (preferably Jamaica), and one in the mountains.
I imagined weekends with the girls; hanging out, clubbing, shopping or just relaxing around the house with a good book.
Never did getting married seem like a viable option for me...now shacking up, maybe, but it was against my religion. (LOL, how funny)
For me, married meant being tied to a man that I would come to resent, but stay married too so that I wouldn't go to hell. (cuz divorce is a sin)
I thought about all of this in that 20 minute ride and I wondered, is there something more than marriage? Is there a better word-- a stronger word -- one filled with pure joy, lust, love, romance, compromise? "Civil union" seems so generic and unloving. Domestic partnership, that's akin to roommates.
Our relationships are not generic or unloving, and we are definitely bedmates, not roommates. I've racked my head, and still can't come up with the right word...any ideas?
I was content in going to college to get a degree and create a career, not to find a husband like so many of my other counterparts.
I wanted to own 3 homes: one in Florida, one on an island (preferably Jamaica), and one in the mountains.
I imagined weekends with the girls; hanging out, clubbing, shopping or just relaxing around the house with a good book.
Never did getting married seem like a viable option for me...now shacking up, maybe, but it was against my religion. (LOL, how funny)
For me, married meant being tied to a man that I would come to resent, but stay married too so that I wouldn't go to hell. (cuz divorce is a sin)
I thought about all of this in that 20 minute ride and I wondered, is there something more than marriage? Is there a better word-- a stronger word -- one filled with pure joy, lust, love, romance, compromise? "Civil union" seems so generic and unloving. Domestic partnership, that's akin to roommates.
Our relationships are not generic or unloving, and we are definitely bedmates, not roommates. I've racked my head, and still can't come up with the right word...any ideas?
Monday, December 1, 2008
It's Been a Long Time Coming
I'm PUBLISHED! You heard me folks. My article has finally been published in Curve Magazine (December Issue, page 52). So everyone check it out, buy it-- or at least go read it for free at the bookstore. I don't get any proceeds from it, but I'd like the support. Send an email and tell them how much you like my writing :-)
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